It’s frigging BREAD!!!

[MrsA2015]

I have a friend that refers to sliced bread as “toast” it’s starting to REALLY get on my nerves. Born and bred in England with absolutely no issues with the English language but can not distinguish between sliced bread and the end result of it being toasted being TWO DIFFERENT BLOODY THINGS.

“I had two toasts for breakfast”
“I have cheese toasts” (instead of cheese sandwiches).

Aaaaaaaaaarghhhh ffs , no amount of addressing it has made a difference in 15 poxy years.

That bread roll map says my area calls them Teacake? I've never heard of it being called Teacake before , it's definitely a bread cake

@Durgasarrow

In the U.S., we definitely say bathroom--saying "i'm going to the toilet," just sounds too vulgar. What do you call the thing you carry your wallets in? Purse, handbag, whatever? Where I come from, it is definitely a pocketbook.

My purse (with my banknotes, coins and credit card in) is in my handbag.

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

Raw toast

😂😂😂

Does she not get confused in supermarkets OP? What with all the bread they sell, but not toast?

Using ‘toilet’ is vulgar?

Being a nurse and having no filter, my colleagues and I always say when we’re nipping for a wee.

@RawToastWoes

Will call cheese on toast “cheese on toastS” and a cheese sandwhich “cheese toast” I could cry.

The times I’ve corrected she’s responded with “yeah but toast is bread slices...”

I give up but had-to get it off my chest

Then even by her own internal logic she's wrong: even if you allowed that a slice of bread could also be called a toast, we don't call two pieces of bread/toast sandwiched together with a filling, a 'bread'. Two slices of bread put together = a sandwich, therefore two 'toasts' put together should also = a sandwich.

Bathroom is an Americanism and to my ear better than "washroom", which always makes me wonder what the hell people are intending to do in there.

I used to have a boyfriend who called crinkle cut chips 'wiggly waggly potatoes' at 30 odd years of age.

This is the problem with using baby talk - you have to agree a point at which you sit them down and say "Look, it's not actually a moo-cow - just say cow. The parp-parps? Yes, they're cars".

I wonder if, like the PP's toddler, your friend as a tiny child couldn't grasp that there was a difference between (raw!) bread and toast and her parents thought nothing of it - but then never bothered (or found it awkward) to correct her as she grew older. I agree that her own children will now continue with the same misnomer - it's a very hard habit to break.

My DS originally tried and liked yoghurts and then, when we gave him a mousse, he called it a 'chocolate yoghurt'. We might even have used that phrase to him ourselves, to make the association in his mind. He's 8 now, so he hasn't called them that for a long time, but I love the idea of a 30yo on a first date in a nice restaurant querying the desserts menu and asking if they have chocolate yoghurts instead. "Just what kind of a rubbish, poorly-run joint is this place that you dare to call a restaurant? First you served me stiffened cooked toast with my soup, then you tell me you don't serve wiggly-waggly chips and now you don't have chocolate yoghurts?!"

Incredible to think that Eskimos have 351 different words for snow, but she apparently doesn't even have two distinct words for bread to describe whether it's been grilled or not! Has she never realised that everybody else calls it bread and only she calls it toast? She reminds me of that old joke about the man on the motorway whose wife calls him and says "Be very careful, Albert - they've just announced on the radio that there's some idiot driving the wrong way along the motorway that you're on now" and he replies "Not just one idiot: there are hundreds of them!"

@TheProdigalKittensReturn

Bathroom is an Americanism and to my ear better than "washroom", which always makes me wonder what the hell people are intending to do in there.

That makes no sense. Both "bath" and "wash" suggest some kind of bodily cleaning is taking place. I can't see any difference between bathroom and washroom and neither mean toilet which is what it actually is.

@HavingAMoan

Using ‘toilet’ is vulgar?

Being a nurse and having no filter, my colleagues and I always say when we’re nipping for a wee.

Shaking hands with the unemployed is sometimes used in our house

@Mothership4two My mother does this too! Still calls it Pitt zah.

I recall in the late 1970's she served us 'Pitt zah' as it was the new thing from Bejams. But it was so charred and blackened (cooked through for safety) she would serve it with tinned tomatoes poured over to soften it up. Yuck.

I thought this was how Pizza was and didn't think much of it until my first boyfriend took me to Pizza Hut.

@earlydoors42

My ex-husband used to call a rug "a carpet" and it really annoyed me! That is not what carpet is!

I guess historically carpets wouldn't have been fitted so we're closer to large rugs, and Turkish rugs still get called carpets. Doesn't make much sense if he was talking about a small rug from IKEA though!

Actually expensive middle Eastern carpets used to be hung on the wall or displayed over tables because they were too valuable to walk on so be glad he didn't call your tablecloths carpets/rugs!

I have a friend who calls the ground the 'floor'. I've explained to him that floor is reserved for indoor only and outside would be the 'ground' or pavement, grass etc. he still insists on saying things like 'I'm happy to sit on the floor' or ' ooh you've dropped your scarf on the floor' when we are outside. Drives me bonkers.

Also have a friend that 'washes' her teeth! You clean a teeth!!

I wonder who originally decided that the ordinary descriptive word toilet was vulgar or offensive. Doesn't toilette in French actually have the wider sense of general 'cleansing' anyway, rather than only referring to a porcelain 'business' throne?

Maybe OP's friend was also randomly told when young that 'bread' was a vulgar, unpleasant word and that she should find a word that is sometimes connected with it to always use as a catch-all for it, like with bathroom/toilet. I'll bet that, for every single word, there's at least one person who finds it randomly vulgar and refuses to use it - e.g. 'shorts' is a nasty, vile, rude word, so they're only ever referred to as 'truncated trousers'

It’s the “draws” thing for me. When used instead of drawers. I’ve seen it on here a few times. I think people spell it like the say it.

Please tell me I'm right and she's wrong.

@Thecazelets Sorry - I’m on team MIL as well!

@TatianaBis I went to Poland in January. There were two types of bread on offer. "Bread" and "Toasting Bread". I think both were sliced but the bread was of the nicer kind than the toasting bread which was comparable to a Tesco Value loaf.

A lot of Polish bread is rye and/or sourdough type - it’s generally drier and harder than British bread. I

I’m questioning the bread map as I live (and grew up!) in Cob country according to them, but will go to my grave calling them Bread Buns. Looking at it though both of my parents are from Bread Bun Land so maybe I’ve been a statistical outlier all my life. Might need to poll the neighbours.

Smug about my raw toast comment now 🤣

Back to the map - traditionally (well, until about 100 years or so ago) bread rolls were fairly unusual in the Highlands. People in poor cottages lived many miles from the shops and often had no ovens (or indeed gas or electricity) so they made oakcakes or scones (pron: skonns) and little pancakes on a griddle.
From around 1900, railways and mobile shops and 'puffers' (little coastal cargo boats) brought bread and rolls from from town or city bakeries to outlying villages.

OATcakes, obviously .... Sorry!

@MrsA2015

Raw toast. Oh god

Exactly what I think when I'm presented with it.

DP seems to believe that the dial setting on the toaster is akin too attempting to set the house ablaze and therefore regularly puts a plate of barely singed floppiness covered with butter, Marmite and sadness in front of me.

And he throws crusts away because 'they cook differently'.

YES! THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM THE BEST FUCKING BITS OF THE ENTIRE LOAF!

@Thecazelets

On a tangential bread-related point...Dry bread to me means stale bread. But to my MIL it is fresh bread that isn't buttered. I only found this out when she accused me of giving the dc 'dry bread' with their soup. I was outraged that she thought I was feeding them out of date food. She just meant that I hadn't buttered it first.

Please tell me I'm right and she's wrong.

I think that there might be a bit of a crossover tbh.

I think that you can say that bread has gone dry or gone stale?

But dry bread definitely to me means unbuttered.

@CalmdownJanet Yes, I'm also Irish and say bathroom. My four-year-old rather sarcastically pointed out that there was no bath in our bathroom the other day.

I love social leopard though. Probably shunned because they were going around eating people's faces.