It’s frigging BREAD!!!

[MrsA2015]

I have a friend that refers to sliced bread as “toast” it’s starting to REALLY get on my nerves. Born and bred in England with absolutely no issues with the English language but can not distinguish between sliced bread and the end result of it being toasted being TWO DIFFERENT BLOODY THINGS.

“I had two toasts for breakfast”
“I have cheese toasts” (instead of cheese sandwiches).

Aaaaaaaaaarghhhh ffs , no amount of addressing it has made a difference in 15 poxy years.

what happens in a cafe or somewhere when she asks for cheese toast

What does she call croutons?

Toasted toast-babies?

@TrickorTreacle

I can think of 2 analogies to the bread/toast woes.

Someone at my old workplace used to call the toilet the bathroom. "Just going to the bathroom, be right back." There were no baths at that workplace, and there aren't any shower rooms either.

The same guy as above used to refer to his wife as his "girlfriend". Like as if they haven't married yet, but they are definitely married.

I am guilty of this

I think saying I'm going to the toilet is very... specific. Like to me it's an act, not a location and sometimes I go to the - lets call it the "ladies" for the sake of argument - to do my make up or brush my hair and it seems weird to say I'm going to the "toilet" when I'm simply popping there to touch up my lipstick and not do anything that actually involves a toilet. So I end up saying "bathroom" more often than not.

It makes sense in my head but people probably do think I'm weird.

But you're still not going there to have a bath, any more than you're going to use the loo. There's always the old 'powder my nose' or even just 'freshen up', I suppose.

However, does that mean that you are extra precise when you do need to do your business? Do you announce loudly, like Mr Denton from the League of Gentlemen, "Time to make toilet!"

Lets clarify here... is she definitely meaning bread because when I've been abroad I've bought these crispy bread things called toast.

Not actually toasted bread

I'm in the 'teacake' area on that map and where I am we call them breadcakes. Teacake is that gross fruity thing.

This drives me mad - my husband is German and if I ask for/he offers to make me a sandwich, he always toasts it! He doesn’t call bread itself toast though, but to him a sandwich is toasted bread, very strange and after years living in England I hoped he would have changed

You have to start getting her 'toast' themed presents - a toast bin, a toaster, a toastie maker. A toast knife.

I'm intrigued that you have so so many bread related discussions OP!!

I can't recall the last time I had a bread themed chat.

You have to start getting her 'toast' themed presents - a toast bin, a toaster, a toastie maker. A toast knife.

And a day-trip to Towcester.

@Alongcameacat; I say 'loo' at home, but ask for the toilets if I'm in a restaurant or similar.

That bread roll map says my area calls them Teacake? I've never heard of it being called Teacake before , it's definitely a bread cake
My husband had a workmate who called a loaf of bread a breadloaf; no idea why.

My Nan used to call sliced bread 'toast bread', and unsliced was just 'bread'. I used to hate it when people referred to the toilet/loo/WC as the bathroom, Now I call it the bathroom because having worked in nurseries and trying to get the children to wash their hands before meals, I found that asking them to go the toilet and wash their hands some would take it literally!!

Quite agree, its bread until its been toasted. But Germans all call sliced bread 'Toastbrot' -

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

My friends mum does this with some words and pronounces pizza pit-zar

Is she a Vengaboy?

🤣 🤣 This is the bread thread that keeps on giving!!

It's cute and quirky in my opinion.

I say borrowed instead of lend, maybe it's regional. As for toast maybe her parents said it.

I’m an American from the Northeast who definitely grew up with a wallet in her pocketbook. My Southern relatives kept their wallets in purses.

But yeah, the daftness of the way Americans use the word “bathroom” - they will giggle “oh look, the puppy just went to the bathroom on the carpet”.

That is really irritating. I think I’d have to unfriend this person. If not there’s a risk I’d accidentally strangle them one time it all got a bit much.

You could invent your own stupidism to use in their presence too. See if they pick up on it...

I’m From Germany... we call
Sliced bread toast... been here 22 years... (since I was 8) and still can’t shake the habit... if it’s been in the toaster it’s toasted toast 😂😂. Maybe she has German family? We also pasta noodles 🤦🏽‍♀️

ah it would drive me mad how can bread be toast sorry germany

On ‘the incredible truth’, R4 comedy programme hosted by David Mitchell (very good, radio 4, 12.00 Sunday mornings) the players have to give a short lecture on a given subject. One of the recent subjects was ‘bread’ and included a recipe from Mrs Beeston which was a toast sandwich, ie slice of bread, slice of toast, slice of bread. And it was a truth!

Thank you for this thread, it’s brilliant!

@Theoldwrinkley

You mean 'The Unbelievable Truth"