AIBU re our wills and children?

[WhatTheWill]

I don't personally think I am but would be interested to hear as DH thinks I am.

DH has 2 children from previous relationship, we have 1 child together. I will only ever have this one child due to long issues with fertility.

We are currently sorting out wills. In my mind DHs assets should be split between his 3 children, my 2DSC and our 1DC as they are all equally his children. My assets should go to my 1DC.

DH thinks we should just split everything between the 3 children.

My reasoning for this is that our DC will only ever inherit from us. If we do things DHs way, my DSC will inherit from DH, their mother and then also me.

I do consider my DSC as part of our family however I don't really parent them other than in the sense that all children in the house are treated equally in general terms. I do care about them but their parents are very much involved in their lives and I don't ever feel the need to be a 'parent' to them. We have a very friendly and good relationship but I don't see them as 'my' children as they have a very involved mother and father if that makes sense. They were also a bit older when I met DH so I never met them as babies or small children.

AIBU in wanting all children to inherit from just their own mum and dad? I think it's the simplest and fairest way.

OT But @AnneLovesGilbert that's terrible of your In-laws not leaving money to your child! Wouldn't be surprised if you have gone NC

YANBU and make complete sense. Your DH has great intentions but is being unfair to your child. The step kids have their mum and your child would be at a disadvantage doing it his way. Unless their mum wants to put your son in her will which I doubt as it sounds weird even saying it.

I would say that if you are going to ensure your DC gets your 50% and your DH can do what he likes with his 50#, then be prepared for a potentially unpleasant decision over who owns what in your household because your DH may decide he brought more to the marriage and will choose to protect that which could leave you (and potentially your child depending upon how he decides to write his will) in a lesser financial situation.

@AnneLovesGilbert sorry to hear that, though it does explain matters. Money isn't everything though and if he's happier without them in his life that's the main thing.

You are absolutely right. Stick to your guns. DH split 3 ways, You spilt 1 way. As you say, SC will benefit from their mother.
I have 2 friends in same situation (who have told me about it) and that’s how they did it.

Thanks @RedHelenB I wouldn’t take a penny off them, horrendous people. Last time DH saw MIL she physically attacked him and told him he’s dead to them. They’re genuinely unhinged. Life is an awful lot lovelier without them in it. They’ll never meet our child, she won’t have anything from them, either money or hassle!

Sorry for the derail OP. You’re doing the right thing