AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

Just say that you're really looking forward to growing to that particular restaurant for your broth day. So if the kids can't see anything they like she can feed them at home and they can have pudding with you at the restaurant.

This isn't up to SIL or SIL kids this is your choice entirely. They always have the option to stay home and have egg and chips instead

I reserve a special kind of hatred for the kind of people that are so entirely child focused, it wouldn't even occur to them that an occasion might not be planned around the kids present. That's the only way she's justified this CFuckery, she doesn't even realise not everyone lives their life this way. It's incredibly toxic in my opinion.

Have you replied OP? If you haven’t I was going to say to try not to use the word ‘sorry’ at any point. It gets misused to be polite but misconstrued as an admission of guilt. You haven’t done anything wrong by refusing her request so you’re not sorry.

The fact that she even asked says exactly where her head is at...essentially up her bum. I’m only speculating here as she will most likely say ‘ok fine see you then’...but I hope it doesn’t turn into some manipulative ‘Bleary doesn’t want the kids there’ hoo ha. That would be tedious.

And when chicken breast and mash is not plain enough!

It might be plain but I many kids who would struggle with the texture of meat and mash. Mash particularly is often problematic.

There are lots of things that kids absolutely love.

I really hate statements like this. Not all kids like or love the same food. I’ve been told many times ‘all kids love grapes’ and ‘all kids love pasta’ etc. No they don’t. I know quite a few kids who don’t eat them. What I think people mean is their kids love them and therefore all kids should like them and fit into a stereotype of what that person believes children should eat.

Just to clarify, I'm not at all blaming parents for their fussy children! I just meant that restaurants should offer more choice so that kids are encouraged to branch out if they wish!

My youngest DC (5) is an incredibly fussy eater, won't eat meat, won't eat anything with sauce and won't eat anything with a really strong flavour. If we were invited out to a Mexican restaurant for someone's birthday I would simply make her a small tea before we leave, then just order her something like plain rice or plain nacho chips f for her to pick at while we eat, then we can all have dessert together. I would never suggest we eat somewhere different because of my fussy child!

I really hate the stereotype that British kids will only eat sausages and nuggets while kids around the world have sophisticated adult palates
I agree.
I think we have a far greater range of cuisines in this country than nearly any country on earth.

@vikingwife
Well kids menus tend to be fish filets (deep fried), pasta or chicken and chips. Horrible quality, but there has been a trend for quite some time now, where you just get smaller portions of adult food. Of course it all depends on the 'fanciness' of the restaurant.

I almost don't dare say this, but here there seems to be a cultural division in what is expected of your dc eatingwise.

Hipster children gets very controlled choices eg vegan etc.
Middle class from the province expects their dc to eat what they eat (and get a fish filet as a treat when eating out sometimes).
And then the third segment, those who either don't take the conflict on or are limited eaters themselves, so their children never are presented with vegetables, live off meat and deep-fried, ready-made things.

Dd's current bf doesn't eat vegetables, he's a pain in the butt to cook for .

Well I will get flamed, but I'm not referring to Sen children etc.

"Oh it's booked already! Maybe the kids could get a light meal at home and just enjoy some snacks and company"

She basically just doesn't fancy the restaurant. IMExpertO

@Fluffycloudland77

Remind me whose birthday this is? 🤨

It’s very rude to control others like that.

Agreed.

She is being ridiculous and self absorbed. It is your birthday enjoy the restaurant of your choice.

I say that as a mum of a DS with SN who has never eaten a meal out. Ever. I feed him at home and he sits quietly and either socialises when out or eats chips/bread/anything from his safe list if available. It's important they learn not everything revolves around them

Just to clarify, I'm not at all blaming parents for their fussy children! I just meant that restaurants should offer more choice so that kids are encouraged to branch out if they wish!

Yanbu. It is your birthday and she is being cheeky. One of my children is a very fussy eater. In this situation I would probably feed him at home beforehand then choose something small and plain on the menu. I wouldn’t dream of making someone accommodate my fussy eater on their own birthday!

Your birthday meal isn't all about her children: bit of a confusion there on her part.

If she's going to come with them but there'll be much loud flouncing and comments about poor darling there's nothing you can eat here is there, gosh this is so unfriendly, then fgs say you understand, sorry she and kids won't be coming and you'll see them another day.

If need be, go to the restaurant yourself with a really good book or your ipad and have a lovely time.

Your birthday - you choose.

I would just tell SIL you are going to that restaurant and thats that.
She can come or not.

Plus even if you did give in and change restaurants,i bet you someone else would complain about that.

So just go where you want to go.

Oops, sorry, posted twice earlier!

I replied.

"Hi X, I'm afraid the restaurant is already booked. It's my favourite restaurant and while it might be not the most ideal menu for X and X, I'm sure the restaurant will still cater for them. Maybe you could ring them up in advance? I'd love to see you all there so hope you understand and are still willing to come and celebrate my birthday!"

It's your birthday, I can't believe she asked to change the restaurant. There's no way that you should.

That was a great reply.

Restaurants are usually good at having something that children will eat if they don’t eat ‘adult’ food.

I only really remember kids menus at the Little Chef when I was younger (my older sister used to get miffed when she was told she was too old for the fishfingers and chips).

I have a ds who once had a 3 course meal consisting of chips for starters chips for main course and more chips for dessert. He probably would eat Mexican but if was say and Indian restaurant that didn't serve chips I would just bribe him with a drive through mcds on the way home so he didn't sit there with a woe is me poor starving face for the duration of the meal. No way would I ask the birthday guest to change their choice of venue because of my areshole child.

I am sure there is something the child will eat.

Mind everywhere I have ever been out for a meal seems to have the standard choice of chicken nugets or hotdog for kids. Same tiny menu everywhere, and generally not the aelthiest option either.

Since mine have got a bit older, I normally just order them something from the adults menu now, usually if you ask this, they will do a smaller portion and charge half or something. Becomes bloody expensive though when instead of a 2.99 processed chicken meal, my daughter wants a filet steak like mummy though But if she will eat it, am not that fussed. People look at me like am crazy for allowing it sometimes.

My youngest hates sausage, chicken dippers, chips, mash and cake - he is 6. It really annoys him when the kids meals only offer the above as an option. He would bloody love chicken in wraps so would totally go for that menu OP.

I can think of two occasions when we have had to improvise and it was absolutely fine. First time was in a bar on the South Bank when we met some friends for lunch, they didnt have a childrens menu but welcomed families. So we got the DCs a full size pizza and some nachos between them, they were happy.

The second time we went to a Thai restaurant for lunch for a friend's birthday, they took their DS all the time so he knew what he liked but we didnt have a clue what to order for our two as a lot of it was too 'out there' for them. NO WAY would i have asked her to change the restaurant. Anyway, my two ended up with a bowl each of plain rice and some chicken skewer things - again they were happy enough with that. And this experience taught us that we needed to get them out of turning their noses up at the the 'too out there' options and at least try different things.

We are getting there but it has inspired me to review our meal choices as we are getting a bit bored now and need to branch out (might start a separate thread on this later )

My two are 12 and 10 have always loved spicy foods from a very young age, last year on holiday we ate out in an Indian restaurant, the chef and waiting staff actually lined up to watch my two start eating as they could not believe they did not want chips ( they had a curry each). Where as my nieces can’t stand any spice at all, even pepper is too spicy for them they are always disgusted when my two choose the flavour and spice meals there mums cooks for the adults over the boring plain boiled rice and dry chicken as they don’t like any type of sauce, gravy either.