AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

Ps if it's independent, it's worth contacting them to see if they can do chicken strips and chips, or similar. By 7 my DD's were eating adult food in restaurants, I used to order one portion between the 2 of them because they whinged big time if they were made to have "kids food" both hated beans (as do I)

That's fine if my SIL wants to call up and ask, but I certainly won't be doing that myself!

Just to clear up a few things that people have queried:

1. No it's not particularly expensive, I'd say an average price for the area.
2. I've seen the kids eat wraps with cheese/chicken at home, so a quesadilla is a great idea! I'll suggest that to SIL.
3. No chips available, but plenty of other options (nacho, rice, mash, wraps)! I personally think it's a great, varied menu.
4. As other PPs have stated, I feel that in the UK kids are limited to about 4 dishes in most restaurants (most containing chips). I've been to France, Italy, or further afield to Malaysia, and the kids just get on with eating smaller portions of the 'adult' food and are probably better off for it when they're older! As PP says, it certainly explains why some UK adults are still incredibly fussy. I hated kids menus as a kid!

@pleasepass in our case, she didn't know. She has only just started to eat nuggets. She started with not liking food touch, not liking sauces on things and basically went to pasta with cheese on it, sausages and fruit. She's got better through being not forceful about it, giving her safe foods but exposure to new ones. She will relapse at times (currently back to not eating tomatoes for example which makes life challenging!) but generally much better and more willing to try now she knows she doesn't have to eat it.

“well my child just eats what we eat, their favourite food is leek and olive casserole!"

There is a very big difference between this and children only eating sausages, chips, chicken nuggets. And when chicken breast and mash is not plain enough!

I'm not going to judge those with fussy eaters- it can all change month by month as they get older.

What I do have a problem with is your SIL making her problem your problem. If she can't see a way of feeding her DC either beforehand, at the restaurant or afterwards without it ruining the evening for everyone, she could either book a sitter or bow out graciously.

Does she have a history of being unimaginative?

@RicStar I sent the children's menu not to ask for her opinion, but because she asked for it and I didn't think anything of it; I was just trying to be helpful!

Also I have just read that people are blithely saying fussy eaters don't exist in countries like France, Germany, Italy etc and I would like to say this is utter bullshit. I am half french, my husband is Italian, and I can assure you that French and Italian kids are just as fussy as British ones!

I started a thread years ago about kids menus here as I got bitched at by friends for ordering “adult food” for my child
really?
How strange

I had this and it was also a Mexican restaurant. Someone in our family had a fussy child supposedly, she would insist all family meals took place at one restaurant as that was the only thing he would eat. It was an Italian and they did chicken nuggets etc.

Everyone always went along with it except I dislike most Italian food including pizza so I decided to buck the trend and arranged a meal at a mexican restaurant, which is my favourite food. She kicked off hugely, but everyone else was fine with it. On the night the restaurant offered to make him egg and chips, which was really kind of them, or adapt any of their meals to his preference.

Now I do understand as I was the fussiest child in the world. I hate tomatoes but all of our family cooked tomato heavy meals and i starved myself rather than eat them. I would go to restaurants and eat a bread roll. But that was how it was, people chose venues for their birthday and you either found something you would eat or you just ate before you came and had a pudding.

I don't get this. Husband and I regularly went to a Mexican restaurant and there were always loads of kids there including small ones. There are lots of things that kids absolutely love. A good idea is to have a platter with an assortment of goodies for all to dive in. I've not known a child who doesn't enjoy Mexican! Plus they do chips, chops, fish, burgers, cheesy things - ice cream and fruity stuff. Your SIL is being ridiculous and I sincerely hope she is on Mumsnet and sees this.

I've just seen yours doesn't do chips. Oh well.....you can't have everything. That is quite unusual.

Personally I wouldn't bother with a 'kids' menu', just have an assortment of 'adult' stuff and let them pick.

I feel your disappointment but really she should encourage her children to try different things; she'll be surprised at what they do like.

Stick to your guns girl!

@BakedBlossoms it’s hard isn’t it? Especially when you’re judged for being a shit mum who obviously fed their kid chicken nuggets from birth (I wish my DS ate chicken nuggets!)

My DS eats different things to yours, although the list is similarly restrictive. We also did BLW and have always offered a wide range of foods. He just got fussier as he got older.

Hoping that by not forcing the issue he gradually relaxes

“Hi sil. I’m going to stick with the venue as it’s where I’d like to eat on my birthday. What about quesadillas...essentially bread and cheese with various extras according to choice? Otherwise you could always give them a bite before they come out then let them choose from the dessert menu.
Look forward to seeing you.
Bleary xx”

Your sil needs to hear a no on this one. Warning; she might not like it. Conclusion; tough.

Just go and enjoy yourself, if she is going to be a mardy fucker then it’s her loss. Have a great time 👍🏻

@vikingwife Your post made me smile - I have family in Italy. My cousins' children are literally the fussiest eaters I have ever met, but this never stops them eating out because absolutely everywhere will do pasta al pomodoro for them. It's just as bad in terms of developing new tastes as only ever eating chicken nuggets (even though nuggets are less healthy food). They really struggled when they came to visit us and we took them to Japanese or Indian restaurants.

@vikingwife has said everything I wanted to say.

@Blearymorningeyes

In your reply to her text, do not offer any openings, suggestions or helpful recommendations. Just a nope.

''"Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly? "
" Hi Sweetie, sorry, not this time. xx"

@ThanksItHasPockets oh am Italian Aussie ! So shouldn’t be speaking on behalf of Italians in the homeland - if they are Italians in Italy can see kids struggling with food of other nationalities, as don’t think it’s a “cultural “ thing to go out & have Chinese or a curry etc, the way we do.

Good point - pasta Napoletana is often a kids menu staple, so Italian kids are generally covered by the kids menu.

I want to know what the Scandinavian kids are eating !

Your SIL is certainly being extremely rude in asking you to change your plans to accommodate her fussy eaters. Definitely. But, it isn't always the case that people cause their children's own fussiness - I thought exactly the same thing...until I had my own fussy eater. And it has been the bane of mine and my husband's lives. We love cooking and eating different cuisines, our son ate the same as us through weaning and then started becoming more and more fussy, to the point of it being ridiculous. We've carried on giving him whatever we're having and he's still fussy at 10, although admittedly massively better than he was! However, I do think that children need to learn to be polite at social occasions and eat what is offered. I've always said to my son that he can subtly leave something if he really hates it, but that he otherwise needs to be polite and just get it down him without making a fuss.

@Sally872 @ginsparkles thanks for answering - definitely no judgment from me :)

@Blearymorningeyes I would agree to pick a different (duller!) venue for a casual meet up, where the purpose is to spend time with SIL and her kids, but for your birthday, nope.

I'm quite accommodating a lot of the time, but I don't think it does children any favours if they always come first. On someone else's birthday, someone else can have first say and they can learn to compromise.

If the kids are super fussy, SIL can call the restaurant and/or feed the kids in advance so they only graze on plain tortilla chips in the restaurant.

Your CF alarm is tuned and working OP. Expecting you to change a birthday meal after so long if no meals out is insane. Plain chicken and a wrap or a quesadilla and some plain nachos - not many kids won't eat that. Sounds like these dc will, and if not a great suggestion to feed them first and bring colouring in and have a desert. I'm sure OP would know if dc had a condition or ASN that caused them to not be able to eat certain food over just being fussy as some of the examples here.

That would be a perfect menu for DC - DD1 because she won't eat typical kids menu food and I normally have to get her an adults meal and dd2 because she will have chicken nuggets if given the chance, so this takes away the option and she always enjoys something different even though she'd believe she wouldn't if the nuggets or spaghetti bolognese (again🙄) were on offer.

Well as it's your birthday OP I do think you should choose the restaurant.

The responses from people thinking parents make children into fussy eater are hilarious! How do they know what's on the menu - they read it! Children come with their own personalities, likes and dislikes - it's not all the work of the parents.

"Hey kids. We're going out for dinner for auntie Bleary's birthday. It's Mexican so you might not like all the food on the menu but you can have some chips or nachos if you want. I don't want to see any messing about in the restaurant when we get there, and of course you can take some quiet games/puzzles to play with. Auntie Bleary is really looking forward to seeing us."

Sorted.

[quote Blearymorningeyes]@RicStar I sent the children's menu not to ask for her opinion, but because she asked for it and I didn't think anything of it; I was just trying to be helpful![/quote]
Don't be too helpful when you reply, or you will make it your problem to solve.

"Sorry, no, this is the restaurant I've chosen for my birthday treat. If you can't make it, I understand, we'll catch up somewhere else more child friendly another time."

[quote vikingwife]@ThanksItHasPockets oh am Italian Aussie ! So shouldn’t be speaking on behalf of Italians in the homeland - if they are Italians in Italy can see kids struggling with food of other nationalities, as don’t think it’s a “cultural “ thing to go out & have Chinese or a curry etc, the way we do.

Good point - pasta Napoletana is often a kids menu staple, so Italian kids are generally covered by the kids menu.

I want to know what the Scandinavian kids are eating ![/quote]
Agreed, and as a result I think your average British kid who is taken out to eat fairly frequently has wider exposure to a range of cuisines and a much more diverse palate as a result. I really hate the stereotype that British kids will only eat sausages and nuggets while kids around the world have sophisticated adult palates.

That kids menu sound really good. I have fussy kids and they would find something to eat (or be hungry until we got home). I have eaten out at Mexican restaurants (indie ones, as well as chain like Las Iguanas). At one stage all mine would eat was plain tortilla chips and ice cream. But it's the experience right? They get to see their friends/family. They get to eat out. They get to chat to the other customers and/or waiting staff. We've been to places with all their favourite foods on the menu and they've still chosen "just chips" but if you never give them the opportunity to experience and try new things they become insular and scared. Now the older two will ask me to try different things more. It's not always successful, but sometimes is. Yes they would rather go to Brewers Fayre or McDonalds. But life is too short to get stuck in that rut. And it's not always about the kids!!!