AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

My daughter is a horrendously fussy eater and probably wouldn't eat anything on the menu, but we would still go. I usually get round this sort of thing by feeding her dinnerbefore we go in and then just feeding her little bits of mine if she will try it. She's 3 so I'm hoping she will grow out of it.

It's not really up to other people to change plans for her benefit.

@BakedBlossoms - Yep! It's people who don't have them, think they've been blessed with superior parenting skills.

I agree that some people are naturally fussy eaters. However, there are also parents who make the situation worse with dc who are mildly fussy and there are also parents who create fussy eaters by assuming that kids will only eat beige food. And I say that as someone who has one very fussy eater, and is pretty fussy myself, including some sensory issues wrt food.

I had/have two fussy eaters. I have taught them to behave in situations like this.

The eldest now will either try something and enjoy it, or politely decline. If she’s out with us because we made her come out (eg SIL’s birthday party) she’s allowed just bread or dessert. If she agreed to come out with just us because she wanted to, she’s allowed to turn down food but she’s not allowed to moan or complain while the rest of us eat. There’s no aggro at restaurants and cafes. It took a long time to get here.

The younger child is going through the same process. He’s still too young to be held to the same standard as his big sister, but he’s further along than he was at her age because he has her example to follow. It will happen.

And, needless to say, the eldest is (by design - this was my goal) so fed up of sitting with us picking at food that she’s eating with us more and more. Different foods, and more of them.

Change doesn’t come easily to some children. But it’s a life skill they need to learn. I don’t want my children to only be able to ever eat food they’re familiar with from childhood.

“Agreed, and as a result I think your average British kid who is taken out to eat fairly frequently has wider exposure to a range of cuisines and a much more diverse palate as a result.”
They won’t, if most of the time they go out, they have food from the children’s menu. Which in most restaurants is exactly the same.
I mean this is the same thread where someone said Mexican food is a recent arrival to the UK 🤣 as if Mexican food is something exotic.

*OP you haven't clarified if anyone else is joining you too

If it is just you and her and the kids, then while it might be annoying, I would just change your plans rather than sit there knowing three of four people at the table weren't enjoying the meal.*

It would be a bit odd if she was planning on spending her birthday with just her SIL and her kids. Hence why it's so presumptuous for SIL to think the setting should just be changed to her preferred setting.

As far as I can see, that menu did include some pretty beige-looking food. Mash surely isn't on anybody's list of "overly adventurous food"? What it is, of course, is a bit dull, less salty and fatty than chips. So less easy to get addicted to.

I have one almost-completely non-fussy child and one much more selective child.
But they still manage to eat at most restaurants without too much bother - if the kids' menu is all crap, then they'll eat some steak or fish with side order of chips, any other potato, salad or veg.

When they were really small I didn't even bother with the kids' menu, just would give them some of what I was eating. I never saw the point of getting a plateful of food they probably wouldn't eat, just to waste it.

Having said all that - I wouldn't choose to eat at a Mexican restaurant, because I can't eat chicken (makes me sick) or spicy food (gives me bad GI symptoms) or tomato (ditto on the GI symptoms). Doesn't leave much!

But as it's your birthday then it's your choice, so I would make the best of it, not try to change it.

This is why so many kids grow up to be total assholes. It's auntie bleary's birthday and she wants to eat there, you'll have to make do. It's as simple as that.

The diverse range of food in the UK now IS a relatively recent thing unless you live in a big city. I eat a wide range of food myself but was surprised when I took my DM (78) to a Turkish restaurant a while back that she'd never eaten that type of food (haven't asked re Mexican but guessing not that either given her surprise when I served her fajitas once). Outside the MNet urban bubble, I think some of you might be surprised what's still considered "exotic".

There should be no such thing anywhere as a children's menu. Small portions from the adult menu.

I agree that you should please yourself on your birthday. But give your SIL the benefit of the doubt given that you have not got any personal experience. My SIL and BIL are lovely but haven't half caused us some stress over the years with their ideas of what multigenerational meals should be like (think very late and very complicated).

Unless the children's menu contains bits of glass its child friendly! What planet is she on!

It's your birthday !
She either accepts your kind invitation or declines .
What's wrong with people ?

I mean this is the same thread where someone said Mexican food is a recent arrival to the UK 🤣 as if Mexican food is something exotic.

Lots of towns in the UK don’t have a Mexican restaurant. Mine doesn’t, and it’s pretty well-served with restaurants. Easy access to a Wahaca is the thing I miss most about where I used to live.

I've been eating Mexican food in the UK since the 1980s... Ok it was harder to get then but it's all over now.

Well thanks OP - I’m making Mexican tonight!

My parents frequently made chilli, enchiladas, nachos etc when we were kids at home. I'm 40 now so so it's definitely not a novel new cuisine for me. My youngest DC's fave food ever is chilli tacos. Might make them tonight

My youngest loves anything Mexican and he can be a bit fussy with other food.

If you are making tacos at home he has discovered an amazing tip. He loves the crunchy tacos but not the fact that they fall apart when you take the first bite. He then saw on YouTube some fast food place in America that do a crunchy taco wrapped in a soft taco and bound together with melted cheese!!
So we recreated at home and it was genius!!!
Just lay the small wraps on a backing tray and sprinkle with grated cheese. Grill and then once melted gently press the crunchy taco on to it and fold.

@BrieAndChilli between that tip and your username I think we'd be friends 😆

Keepers. My child wouldn't eat any of that but I wouldn't expect you to change the restaurant!

Keepers? That should have said Jeepers!

I think you are well within your rights to say that you do want to go there. But then she is well within her rights to choose not to go. She doesn't feel the menu suits her and I don't think she should feel obliged to spend money on things the kids probably won't eat. Mine btw would not have touched anything on that menu except perhaps the mash. They are teenagers now and eat normal adult foods. Younger kids often find stronger flavours too much and mixed up food too much
Personally I'd not want to force someone to go somewhere they really don't want to and would not enjoy the evening knowing that.

That’s good you didn’t change restaurant. It’s your birthday. Kids will have to deal with many situations over their lifetime where they can’t be totally catered for. So they’ll just have to get used to it. She can feed them beforehand if she wants. This is not about them and their needs shouldn’t be our first on your birthday.

I'd love to see you all there so hope you understand and are still willing to come and celebrate my birthday!"

This part of your reply is basically putting pressure on her to attend. You should instead have graciously given her a get out clause by saying "I'd understand if you'd rather not attend on this occasion, we could perhaps get together and have a meal out with the kids another time if you'd like*.

Unless the children's menu contains bits of glass its child friendly! What planet is she on!

This 100%