AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

@MrsKoala but would you expect all family meals to be held at either Wagamama or pizza express just to keep your dc happy, no matter what the host/person who's celebration it was fancied?

Good reply.

YANBU to refuse to change the restaurant.
SINBU to decline the invite.

I’d lump it for the sake of one difficult meal but then I’d also understand why someone else wouldn’t.

I'd be looking at it as an excuse to go out without the kids!

I actually don't think either of you ABU. If you like her, just let her decline if it'd be more hassle than it's worth and don't make a big deal of it.

Some parents are just lazy.

It’s easier to give in to the whining and complaining (all children complain about something or other at some point in their childhood), than to work through it. It’s even easier, seemingly, for these parents to inconvenience other people on their OWN celebratory days (countless threads on MN about catering to children’s whims about food, clothing, timings on birthdays and weddings and Christmas lunch they’re hosting etc) than to make the effort with their children.

Sucks all the joy out of life.

shameless placemark. I need to know her response!

OP you haven't clarified if anyone else is joining you too

If it is just you and her and the kids, then while it might be annoying, I would just change your plans rather than sit there knowing three of four people at the table weren't enjoying the meal.

If it's a larger party then it's easier to say no and suggest a separate kid-friendly get-together

I know why you might think she's just being awkward but it's most likely she just knows that entertaining two kids who won't eat the food will be rather annoying and spoil the occasion. I'm not sure how much you'll enjoy your favourite restaurant if the kids are acting up!

When she was asking to choose a different restaurant-I'm guessing that she might have wanted to choose her kids favourite place?

That's what she gets to do on their bdays!

Glad you still intend to go, Op-wonder if SIL will??

She's being an entitled CF. Go where you want to go on your own birthday! Can't believe she's got the nerve to try to dictate the venue! And enjoy your birthday.

Also totally agree with Baked there are fussy eaters everywhere!

My French BIL will literally only eat about 10 things. My husband will eat anything. They were raised exactly the same, just turned out differently.

People need to not be so judgy about it.

I would of also asked if we could change the restaurant when my kids were that age

@bluesky3 do you honestly not think that is rude and entitled, on someone else's birthday?

For example:

It's a tricky one but unless you have a fussy eater I don't think you can understand how very not fun this is as a proposition

It’s not your birthday. Is it more important that YOU enjoy this, or the person who has invited you to THEIR birthday meal? It’s not tricky at all. You find it tricky because YOU want to have fun but your own children are hindering this.

Because instead of enjoying your food you have to deal with a bored child who's not eating. Been there, got the t-shirt multiple times

Tough! They’re your kids, so you have to deal with them. Nobody else. If you’ve been there multiple times already, you clearly didn’t sort it out the first few times, meaning you didn’t encourage them to try and taste, explore different things in the menus, if really nothing will go down after the first 15 times you teach them to behave as civilised members of the group and sit quietly without a stroppy face, letting everyone else enjoy their food.

And I really like my food so it is particularly galling not to get to eat it!

Imagine if it were YOUR birthday! Galling indeed to have whining children stopping you from enjoying what you want.

Your SIL has simply been honest

Is this something to be proud of?!

Also, although the MN massive will jump on me, I can think of quite a few older adults of my acquaintance who wouldn't be delighted to be offered Mexican cuisine. It is a relatively recent arrival in the UK

Doesn’t matter how they feel to be “offered” Mexican food. Truly, it doesn’t. Others aren’t obliged to cater to you for something as neutral as Mexican food (neutral in a country which has so many cuisines from all over the world readily available).

My children would love this menu. However my friend would argue the same as your SIL. In her opinion kid friendly means chicken nuggets and chips.

We're past that stage now, but it used to make me quite cross.

Everyrestaurant Kids Menu

Sausages
Chicken nuggets
Fish fingers
Cheese & tomato pizza
Cheese & tomato pasta
Baked beans
Sweetcorn
Peas
Chips
Ice cream
Fruit shoot

. I'm not sure how much you'll enjoy your favourite restaurant if the kids are acting up!

I'd be furious if my dc at 4 and especially at 7, acted up just be they didn't fancy much if the food. Why is there an assumption that would be expected or tolerated?!

I would love to know what she replies to your perfectly reasonable message

So many people think fussy eaters are made (by the parents), not just born that way. I suspect I used to think so too - I got what I deserved! I’d have taken my kids for something to eat first and then brought colouring/table games/tablets for them for the meal, I’d not have asked you to change restaurant. If I thought you wouldn’t like them to be playing or on tablets (with headphones) at your birthday dinner then i’d find a sitter or bring them towards the end for pudding.

@midnightstar66 no, as I said upthread. I was responding to Cardibach saying she didn’t know why people were saying my child wouldn’t eat anything on the menu without seeing the menu. My point is that often as a parent of a fussy eater you already know they won’t eat anything based on the type of restaurant it is.

My kids will also only eat certain brands of foods so only McDonald’s nuggets and not any other, or specific supermarkets sausages. So even if we go somewhere with nuggets and sausages on the menu we’ve learned the hard way that they won’t it it because they look or smell different

These kids menus that are basically just junk food really annoy me. Why kids can only have junk and not good, nutritious food is beyond me.
We used to spend a lot of time in France. The majority of places there will just serve a half portion of whatever is on the menu. Much easier.
Alternatively, we would order a meal and an extra plate so DC could share. No problem.

Nope. And hell no
It's your birthday, so have it where ever YOU want

She can feed them before you go out for dinner. Or after. Or whatever.

And if they don't wanna come then they don't

So many people think fussy eaters are made (by the parents), not just born that way.

Yep! It's people who don't have them, think they've been blessed with superior parenting skills.

It's naff all to do with parenting. I'm one of four. Me = not fussy at all, always ate anything. Sister 1 = fussy fucker as a child, fussy fucker now. Brother 1 = fussy fucker as a child, now eats most things. Brother 2 = adventurous eater as a young child, fussy older child, even fussier as an adult.

Mum fed us all exactly the same things.

I think you should celebrate your birthday with adults.
My kids have never been fussy - we didn't do kiddie menus but - dh's nephews are the definition of fussy. We always choose somewhere to suit them if they were coming with us, keeping everyone happy. I like kids to come out and enjoy the food they are eating.
If I had strong views about the restaurant I wanted to go to I simply didn't invite them.

@BakedBlossoms that sounds EXACTLY like me and my siblings and my kids are exactly the same too !!

Also, if you want a complete contrast, DH and his brother (yes, the Italians!!) were brought up on frozen food and had the same 4 meals week in, week out, and both are totally non-fussy.

She’s being silly and they don’t have to join :-)