Wtf would you do? Teenagers.

[NotMoreTeenageDramas]

Nc for this. Could be long, I'll try to be as clear as I can.

In November, DD17 booked a holiday to Centre Parcs with 4 other girls. They were meant to go in 2 weeks time but have decided that due to the restrictions, it wouldn't be the same, so they've rebooked for early next year. (Yes they're aware that the same restrictions could still be in place then but they're optimistic).

As none of them are 21 and you need to have an over 21 year old on the booking, one of the girl's mums very kindly said she would put herself on the booking and spend the week with another family that's going at the same time. So she'd be there, but be out of the girls way so it's like they're on their first girls holiday alone.

For those who don't know, with Centre Parcs, you don't pay per person, you pay for the Villa. In this case, the girls were paying for a 6 bed villa and split the cost 6 ways.

The girls paid £208 each, and before they sent the money to the mum who was booking it, they all agreed that if someone were to drop out for whatever reason, they wouldn't be able to get their money back unless they found a replacement.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

One girl has fallen out with the other 4. I will never hear both sides of the story because I'm only being told one side from my DD (who is one of the 4). I've heard nothing but vile things about this other girl and can completely see why the other 4 don't want to be friends with her.

For a bit of context, the 4 have been friends since the start of secondary school (so nearly 6 years now) and the other girl they met at the beginning of sixth form (so about 9 months). You can see where the stronger friendships are.

As you can imagine, the girl doesn't want to come to Centre Parcs and is now demanding her money back. Originally, the girls said they couldn't give that back to her as they all agreed if you dropped out you wouldn't get it back.

The girls could split the cost of this girl's share and pay an extra £42 each so the girl can get her full amount back but they agreed that they can't really afford that and don't want to be out of pocket when this girl has been an awful friend to them.

I can see it from both sides. If it were my child that dropped out, I would be wanting the money back too because she's not going. However, they did agree before they paid there was a chance of no refunds and they were all happy to send the money off then anyway.

Here's the next bit. The girls are all 18 before the end of the year, and the 4 were happy to talk and try to resolve this between them like adults. This is where the discussion came in for them to pay the difference out of their own pocket because they were trying to be fair. However the other girl wanted to get parents involved and demanded the phone number of the mum who booked it.

The mum of the other was apparently threatening legal action if the £208 wasn't refunded, threatening to come round to their house, get the police involved etc.

For ease, I'm trying to convince my DD to pay £42 so the girl can get her money back and just leave them all alone. DD can't really afford £42 so we would pay it but I think it's just easier to give in given the circumstances.

It wasn't the 4 girls that pushed the other one out of their group and forced her to drop out of Centre Parcs. The 4 wanted to resolve their argument and carry on being friends but the other girl has been nasty and thrown their kindness and rationality back in their faces. I don't know the whole of the reason for the falling out but I've seen messages from my DD pleading with the other girl to sort it out and getting disgusting replies.

Needless to say, the friendship is far beyond repair so there is no chance they could make up and the girl could come to Centre Parcs after all.

Also, before anyone asks, there is also nobody who could fill the place. The girls have tried but there's not anyone they're good enough friends with to ask.

I just want other parents opinions, particularly those who have teenagers. Is it the right thing to do to encourage DD and friends to give £42 each so it gets the other girl to leave them alone?

[fairlyplump]

Give her the money back. Also, I bet there is an entirely different story from her to the 4 other little sweethearts !!

[gotothecooler]

This! Why on earth do people assume that every 17/18 year old is identical? It's the people who can't see why they would choose it who are weird.

I wasn't assuming they are all identical. I just can't see what centre parcs has to offer a group of 18 year olds. There are so many holidays to choose from, things to see, and they have chosen to do what they could do anytime, but to pay centre parcs hundreds of pounds for the privilege

[huuunderickssss]

In this situation I think the girl not going needs to find a replacement for her place and 'sell ' it for them. Or lose her money .. it's the way it goes isn't it !

[EllaAlright]

My 17 year old dd would love to go to CP with her friends! Swimming, chatting, bike riding, using the sports hall, archery and watching TV in the lodge. What’s not to like? We go a few times and she always says it’s her favourite place to go on holiday!

I never get the assumption that 17-18 year olds are only into holidays in Europe that consist of partying and getting pissed.

But, in answer to your question, I would just give the £42 to the girl that’s dropped out, in principle as she knew it was non returnable I can see why you wouldn’t, but I think I would, just to keep the peace really and stop a huge fallout.

[gotothecooler]

I never get the assumption that 17-18 year olds are only into holidays in Europe that consist of partying and getting pissed.

Please, don't then assume that others did.

[Therarestone]

Can they not call centre parcs to amend their booking to a smaller villa? There would be an amendment fee but its not too much I don't think, £35 or something

[Dinocan]

Just pay the money back. £42 is hardly a large sum, to suggest they can’t afford it when they can pay £200 for a girls holiday isn’t very believable. I’d also be uncomfortable with the 4 against 1. It could easily be a ‘ganging up’ situation, especially given she’s a new member of an already tight friendship group. Sounds like typical teenage drama and. I think it’s quite important to show the girls the best way to be a bigger person, even if this girl has done terrible unforgivable things (unlikely IMO).

[BigBadVoodooHat]

I will never hear both sides of the story because I'm only being told one side from my DD (who is one of the 4). I've heard nothing but vile things about this other girl and can completely see why the other 4 don't want to be friends with her.

For a bit of context, the 4 have been friends since the start of secondary school (so nearly 6 years now) and the other girl they met at the beginning of sixth form (so about 9 months). You can see where the stronger friendships are.

Yeah, it's really obvious where the 'stronger friendships' are

Given that you acknowledge that you only have one side of the story (the side that paints the well-established clique in the best possible light), why are you so willing to believe the 'vile' stories about the other girl?

Thank christ she's not going, sounds like she'd have had a bloody awful time.

(awaits massive dripfeed about how the other girl stamps on kittens for a laugh and wanted to smuggle a load of Class As to CP for an week-long rave, but the ever-so good girls didn't want that)

[Clavinova]

However the other girl wanted to get parents involved and demanded the phone number of the mum who booked it.

"get parents involved" - the mum is involved - she is staying in the villa!

Entirely reasonable to ask for the phone number of the mum who made the booking.

[scubadive]

I find it hard to believe that the other girl has chosen to fall out with all 4. I think it is likely that she felt left out and doesn’t feel able to continue with the holiday regardless of whether this is on offer.

The 4 should give the girl her money back, she must be really hurting at the moment having fallen out with her friendship group at such an age.

On another point, they shouldn’t be going to center parcs at 17 (18 for next year?) the age limit of 21 is there for a reason. It’s expensive and if I went with my family I Wouldn’t expect a house full of drunken partying teenagers next door. They will be drinking and partying, this is just what teenagers that age do. You shouldn’t be condoning this.

[RainbowDash101]

I would encourage the girls to refund the other girl. As an aside, I’d be interested to hear what these vile things are that this girl has allegedly done, as from a distance it looks like she’s being bullied.

[RufustheRowlingReindeer]

I would pay the £42

I can understand the girl’s rationale, it was quite clearly stated and agreed no refunds for dropping out

But situations change

[willloman]

Yeah pay up the £42 and then see if the mum who's going has a friend who might want to join her? Not worth the agro with this young woman and her mum when there has been a falling out.

[Beautiful3]

Yes I agree, give her the £42 to get rid of her. Next time the group decide to go away again, print off contracts. Make sure they state that if you withdraw, no refunds are given. Make sure they're signed and dated. That way everyones covered. By the way the police wouldnt have been interested one bit. Also I'd doubt they would have paid for a solicitor, it would cost more than they want.

[loobyloo1234]

I would pay it but I would also question the girls as to whether they were really sure CP is the best place for them to have their first girls holiday given that they will all be 18 by then?

[gotothecooler]

"get parents involved" - the mum is involved - she is staying in the villa!

No. She really isn't.

[Cherrysoup]

It’s a civil matter, police would refuse to get involved unless the mum caused a breach of the peace by going round to others’ houses kicking up a fuss.

Was there any written comms re not getting money back? Has it been paid to Centre Parks?

[ImFree2doasiwant]

Beyween now and next year, they can surely afford to pay back £42 each.

[GhostTypeEevee]

I would say to my child to pay it back just for ease

[mellicauli]

I think it would be fairer if the losses were split 5 ways. So all 5 girls bear the same financial loss. I am sure there is blame on all sides. So that’s back to the £42.

[GinDrinker00]

They can’t afford to pay her £42 each? Yet they can afford to go on holiday?
Sorry but that doesn’t really make any sense. Tell them to pay her back out of their spending money. I don’t believe for one second they’d fall out with all 4, chances are she probably felt left out.

[Ginplease29]

Wouldn’t it be easier if they just all got a refund and cancelled it? They all get their money back and the ones who still want to do a holiday together can then rebook?

[rookiemere]

I agree with @Gobbycop . Pay back half as commitment was made and money paid on that basis.
I can see why 18 year olds might enjoy CP. Everything is on tap within walking distance and the villas are comfortable to chill out in.

[gamerchick]

(awaits massive dripfeed about how the other girl stamps on kittens for a laugh and wanted to smuggle a load of Class As to CP for an week-long rave, but the ever-so good girls didn't want that)

You know it

It does look like 4 against 1. You don't know the full story OP and the girls mother has got involved, just like you have with your thread (at the least). Except she's furious for her bairn.

[Fairyliz]

I’m another one who is saying cancel it if you can.
If they are not thinking of going for another year a lot can change in that time (boyfriends?). I have DD’s in their 20s and they went on holiday with different friends at 18/19/20/21.