Wtf would you do? Teenagers.

[NotMoreTeenageDramas]

Nc for this. Could be long, I'll try to be as clear as I can.

In November, DD17 booked a holiday to Centre Parcs with 4 other girls. They were meant to go in 2 weeks time but have decided that due to the restrictions, it wouldn't be the same, so they've rebooked for early next year. (Yes they're aware that the same restrictions could still be in place then but they're optimistic).

As none of them are 21 and you need to have an over 21 year old on the booking, one of the girl's mums very kindly said she would put herself on the booking and spend the week with another family that's going at the same time. So she'd be there, but be out of the girls way so it's like they're on their first girls holiday alone.

For those who don't know, with Centre Parcs, you don't pay per person, you pay for the Villa. In this case, the girls were paying for a 6 bed villa and split the cost 6 ways.

The girls paid £208 each, and before they sent the money to the mum who was booking it, they all agreed that if someone were to drop out for whatever reason, they wouldn't be able to get their money back unless they found a replacement.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

One girl has fallen out with the other 4. I will never hear both sides of the story because I'm only being told one side from my DD (who is one of the 4). I've heard nothing but vile things about this other girl and can completely see why the other 4 don't want to be friends with her.

For a bit of context, the 4 have been friends since the start of secondary school (so nearly 6 years now) and the other girl they met at the beginning of sixth form (so about 9 months). You can see where the stronger friendships are.

As you can imagine, the girl doesn't want to come to Centre Parcs and is now demanding her money back. Originally, the girls said they couldn't give that back to her as they all agreed if you dropped out you wouldn't get it back.

The girls could split the cost of this girl's share and pay an extra £42 each so the girl can get her full amount back but they agreed that they can't really afford that and don't want to be out of pocket when this girl has been an awful friend to them.

I can see it from both sides. If it were my child that dropped out, I would be wanting the money back too because she's not going. However, they did agree before they paid there was a chance of no refunds and they were all happy to send the money off then anyway.

Here's the next bit. The girls are all 18 before the end of the year, and the 4 were happy to talk and try to resolve this between them like adults. This is where the discussion came in for them to pay the difference out of their own pocket because they were trying to be fair. However the other girl wanted to get parents involved and demanded the phone number of the mum who booked it.

The mum of the other was apparently threatening legal action if the £208 wasn't refunded, threatening to come round to their house, get the police involved etc.

For ease, I'm trying to convince my DD to pay £42 so the girl can get her money back and just leave them all alone. DD can't really afford £42 so we would pay it but I think it's just easier to give in given the circumstances.

It wasn't the 4 girls that pushed the other one out of their group and forced her to drop out of Centre Parcs. The 4 wanted to resolve their argument and carry on being friends but the other girl has been nasty and thrown their kindness and rationality back in their faces. I don't know the whole of the reason for the falling out but I've seen messages from my DD pleading with the other girl to sort it out and getting disgusting replies.

Needless to say, the friendship is far beyond repair so there is no chance they could make up and the girl could come to Centre Parcs after all.

Also, before anyone asks, there is also nobody who could fill the place. The girls have tried but there's not anyone they're good enough friends with to ask.

I just want other parents opinions, particularly those who have teenagers. Is it the right thing to do to encourage DD and friends to give £42 each so it gets the other girl to leave them alone?

[ToBBQorNotToBBQ]

I wouldn't refund it. No refunds. Though it would be easier to refund it so she can go away.

[Yeahnahmum]

I wouldn't pay. She is 17.she knew she wasn't getting the money back as this was previously discussed.

Let her mum take a hike with her police threats

[Busymum45]

Refund her and move on!

[Timesdone]

But anyway, they should pay the friend who's dropped out and out it behind them.

[Timesdone]

I'd be more worried about the other mums, one who's supposed to be in charge & come up with a dodgy arrangement to get round the booking regulations & the other (or possibly the same one) now wanting to threaten legal action. What a nightmare all round.

[CJsGoldfish]

Thirdly, and I should have made that clear, the mum who booked it has proof of everyone agreeing to no refunds for dropping out. Messages from a text conversation are still there where each girl agrees before sending the money
I don't think this is relevant at all and I'm surprised you'd raise it as any kind of justification. This is not a change of mind situation. It is a 4 against one situation making it impossible for her to attend. It is just carrying the nastiness on and ensuring they have the upper hand in whatever went on.
That's not to say the other girl has not been nasty, of course, but the others holding her to an agreement they've been a party to changing isn't fair.

[PerfectPenquins]

I would give the money back. 4 against 1 is very unfair and the majority have made it so that one person doant feel comfortable to go which is very unfair. If it was more evenly split it would be different but it seems because 1 is a relatively new adition to the group she easiest to push out.

[ssd]

Sorry for earlier comment. I'm sure a group of 17/18 year old would love CP. I hope they get sorted and have a good holiday next year.

[whenwillthemadnessend]

Give the money back for sake of peace of mind.

You can never honestly know what has happened and it does seem like 4/1 even if the other girl is a pain.

[whenwillthemadnessend]

Give the money back for sake of peace of mind.

You can never honestly know what has happened and it does seem like 4/1 even if the other girl is a pain.

[JaJaDingDong]

I think I would pay part of the money back, as a goodwill gesture, but not all of it.

[TypingoftheDead]

I’d have loved Centre Parcs as a teenager, still would like to go if I ever had a holiday away from home tbh! I had zero interest in drinking at their age and still only drink once in a blue moon as an adult.
Back on topic, initially I thought I would say no to paying it back, but if it gets the drama over with then it probably is the best idea.
The contracts for future holidays is a good suggestion.

[NotMoreTeenageDramas]

Wow - a lot to read. Thank you everyone for your replies!

I wasn't expecting so much emphasis and confusion over the fact that 17 year olds want to go to Centre Parcs, it's not my business why they chose there, they've all been with their own families and clearly think it'd be fun? No harm in that? People are very judgemental.

Secondly, I don't believe for a second that we have 4 angels and one devil, I am sure the argument was equally nasty on both sides but I don't know what the falling out was about and quite frankly I don't care - they should sort that out themselves. It was the issue with the payment that I wanted advice on.

Thirdly, and I should have made that clear, the mum who booked it has proof of everyone agreeing to no refunds for dropping out. Messages from a text conversation are still there where each girl agrees before sending the money.

What I believe they're doing is an option I didn't know about before: giving the girl £120 that they're getting back from CP (the cost difference between their holiday in August and their holiday next Jan) and then paying £15 or whatever each to the girl so she leaves them alone.

They weren't bothered about losing £15 if it meant the calls and texts from the girl and her mum would stop

[gotothecooler]

Everyone saying cancel it, they have rebooked. Cancelling is unlikely to be an option now

[AryaStarkWolf]

The girl needs to be paid back, I echo what everyone else has said, cancel it and give her her money back and then let them rebook something else

[SophieB100]

Cancel the whole thing, get a refund, book again next year closer to the time they want to go.

Had two teenage daughters who fell in and out of friendship groups all the time at that age - a lot can happen between now and next year OP!

Also teach teenagers, and my god, the girls' and their issues and friendships - I have seen girls too scared to come to school due to other 'friends' ganging up on them.

You don't know the whole story OP - and you probably don't want to - take the texts you've seen from your DD with a pinch of salt - she's showing you what she wants to. The other mum has got involved because from her POV her DD has been pushed out of a friendship group.

Detach from it all - you will never get to the bottom of teen dramas, and your involvement will just fan the flames - you'll be stewing over this when they've already resolved it and moved onto the next one!

Get them to cancel and get a refund.

[Therarestone]

Whether or not she 'should' go to center parcs or not in your opinion is not what OP was asking.

I went to center parcs at 18 and a few years after that with a group of friends, we sat around our hot tub, drank, read and used the spa. It was a lovely relaxing time.

Not everyone wants to fly off to binge drink and catch chlamydia in Ibiza.

[gotothecooler]

the other mum is going. She's leaving them by themselves in the day and sleeping in the chalet

My mistake. I'm sure OP said the mum was going with another family. She was only on the booking because they needed an over 21.

[3rdNamechange]

@gotothecooler the other mum is going. She's leaving them by themselves in the day and sleeping in the chalet.
It would be my idea of a nightmare CP , four 17 year old girls.
I'm with other PPs cancel the whole thing and book a holiday abroad next year when they're all 18 and have left school.

A lot can change in a year , could be more falling out , boyfriends, anything.

[Bodgedboxdye]

Yup, they should defo be paying the girl the money back.

I appreciate that when they put their money forward, they all assumed it’d be fine and nobody would fall out. Also, they were probably excited to go away.

The other girl isn’t going to drop it, and to get her off their case, I’d pay it.

[makingmammaries]

I suggest she should get half her money back. That would make 26 pounds per girl if I am not mistaken. It might be a good enough compromise.

[icedaisy]

So they are all 18 this year, and the first destination when 18 will be Ibiza. Yet it's moved to next year, and now this issue?

Cancel it? Book Ibiza instead?


CP really really do not want groups of youths, whatever the setup, never have, never will.

[Igmum]

CenterParcs do 4-bed chalets too so it may be worth seeing whether they can move the booking to one. Agree with others though, if they can't, then pay the £42. I don't think it's right, but I do think they'll get more peace of mind. Good luck!

[romeolovedjulliet]

i'd be interested in op's thoughts about questions that were raised earlier in the thread, that dd and her friends were possibly ganging up on the girl, and the fact that there are two sides to every story.

[oakwood13]

I'd be tempted to call the bluff of the mum who has threatened legal action and involving the police. I would not be surprised if she would be extremely embarrassed were she to know the detail of her daughter's behaviour.

Though I'd understand if you all coughed up £42 for peace and quiet.