Wtf would you do? Teenagers.

[NotMoreTeenageDramas]

Nc for this. Could be long, I'll try to be as clear as I can.

In November, DD17 booked a holiday to Centre Parcs with 4 other girls. They were meant to go in 2 weeks time but have decided that due to the restrictions, it wouldn't be the same, so they've rebooked for early next year. (Yes they're aware that the same restrictions could still be in place then but they're optimistic).

As none of them are 21 and you need to have an over 21 year old on the booking, one of the girl's mums very kindly said she would put herself on the booking and spend the week with another family that's going at the same time. So she'd be there, but be out of the girls way so it's like they're on their first girls holiday alone.

For those who don't know, with Centre Parcs, you don't pay per person, you pay for the Villa. In this case, the girls were paying for a 6 bed villa and split the cost 6 ways.

The girls paid £208 each, and before they sent the money to the mum who was booking it, they all agreed that if someone were to drop out for whatever reason, they wouldn't be able to get their money back unless they found a replacement.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

One girl has fallen out with the other 4. I will never hear both sides of the story because I'm only being told one side from my DD (who is one of the 4). I've heard nothing but vile things about this other girl and can completely see why the other 4 don't want to be friends with her.

For a bit of context, the 4 have been friends since the start of secondary school (so nearly 6 years now) and the other girl they met at the beginning of sixth form (so about 9 months). You can see where the stronger friendships are.

As you can imagine, the girl doesn't want to come to Centre Parcs and is now demanding her money back. Originally, the girls said they couldn't give that back to her as they all agreed if you dropped out you wouldn't get it back.

The girls could split the cost of this girl's share and pay an extra £42 each so the girl can get her full amount back but they agreed that they can't really afford that and don't want to be out of pocket when this girl has been an awful friend to them.

I can see it from both sides. If it were my child that dropped out, I would be wanting the money back too because she's not going. However, they did agree before they paid there was a chance of no refunds and they were all happy to send the money off then anyway.

Here's the next bit. The girls are all 18 before the end of the year, and the 4 were happy to talk and try to resolve this between them like adults. This is where the discussion came in for them to pay the difference out of their own pocket because they were trying to be fair. However the other girl wanted to get parents involved and demanded the phone number of the mum who booked it.

The mum of the other was apparently threatening legal action if the £208 wasn't refunded, threatening to come round to their house, get the police involved etc.

For ease, I'm trying to convince my DD to pay £42 so the girl can get her money back and just leave them all alone. DD can't really afford £42 so we would pay it but I think it's just easier to give in given the circumstances.

It wasn't the 4 girls that pushed the other one out of their group and forced her to drop out of Centre Parcs. The 4 wanted to resolve their argument and carry on being friends but the other girl has been nasty and thrown their kindness and rationality back in their faces. I don't know the whole of the reason for the falling out but I've seen messages from my DD pleading with the other girl to sort it out and getting disgusting replies.

Needless to say, the friendship is far beyond repair so there is no chance they could make up and the girl could come to Centre Parcs after all.

Also, before anyone asks, there is also nobody who could fill the place. The girls have tried but there's not anyone they're good enough friends with to ask.

I just want other parents opinions, particularly those who have teenagers. Is it the right thing to do to encourage DD and friends to give £42 each so it gets the other girl to leave them alone?

[Russell19]

I agree with pp who said get the whole thing refunded by centre parks then rebook somewhere as a 4.

[Sarahandco]

Yes cancel and rebook.

They should repay the girl the £42 each - because she is not really dropping out if they have fallen out to the point where she cannot go.

[HowLongCanICallitBabyWeight]

Another who's not sure why 18 year old want to go to centre parks! Get the whole thing refunded, and let them go to Ibiza next year if that's what they want. I went when I was 17 , didn't kill me, had a great time, would definitely need more sleep now (and still wouldn't want to go to centre parks without children)....

[gotothecooler]

They have already rebooked the holiday? So the mum who is going along 'with another family', this other family have rebooked for exactly the same time next year and that suited them?

First off I wouldn't believe for a minute the other mum is actually going. Second, centre parcs for a group of just turned 18 year olds?

It's all a bit weird. They probably can't cancel now due to them having already rebooked so the only solution is that they all chip in to pay her back.

[ssd]

I don't believe for one minute a group if 17/18 year booked their girls holiday to center parks.

[Sally872]

The other girl could have got a refund if holiday cancelled, was she involved in the choice to rebook? If not she should get her money back.

[BadLad]

Isn’t it £52 per girl not £42?

I think so. £208 refund split between the four still going.

[boredboredboredboredbored]

It's not weird at all what a bizarre comment. My Dd is 17 and would love a weekend away at CP with her mates.

[oldmum22]

Sorry ,dont believe it is all the "vile girl's" fault . Personality clash and change in dynamics has changed this group.
Cancel CP get a refund let the girls sort out their own holiday next year.

Ps ...Are you the Mum going with them?

[gotothecooler]

It's not weird at all what a bizarre comment. My Dd is 17 and would love a weekend away at CP with her mates.

What on earth would they do?

[Charleyhorses]

I would absolutely get the girls to refund and I would start it by giving the money myself.
You as a mature adult can see that there are 2 sides to this and you are only getting one view. No doubt the excluded ones parents are getting a different story. It's 40 quid. And it leaves nice organising Mum in a spot, which really isn't fair at all.

[Patch23042]

Re - the refund....I think from the OP that there’s a sixth person who is not involved in the argument. So £42 is ok.

Regardless, I’d cancel completely and rebook.

OP can’t insist on reading text messages. Not at this age. It does have a whiff of the girl being scapegoated though.

Will the middle-aged woman still be staying oveernight with them? That made me laugh, I’ll admit. It’s a bit odd.

[Charleyhorses]

What would 17 year olds do?
Giggle, chat, cook, swim, eat out, repeat I would imagine.

[BigSandyBalls2015]

I think you’re way too involved ... let them sort it out themselves at that age.

[LakieLady]

Do the decent thing and pay the money back. Then the matter's done and dusted.

And I also suspect that there's more the falling out than the OP is being told.

[Charleymouse]

Can I check if the villa has been rebooked is it at the same time as the responsible adult is able to go and join another family?
If so.

The girls can rebook a villa for 4 which will reduce their cost overall. They will then not lose face by refunding the non attending girl.

The responsible adult needs to fill in the accommodation occupancy as though she is staying in the villa with 3 of the girls and her DD is staying in their friends villa.

Obviously she doesn't have to sleep there as you say she wasn't anyway. They just swap over when they are there.

[Clavinova]

So the mum who is going along 'with another family', this other family have rebooked for exactly the same time next year and that suited them?

Indeed.
What is the mum going to do all week by herself? Could she invite a female friend as a replacement?

[Quartz2208]

I think this had the recipe for disaster from the start given they knew each other from the beginning.

You seem to think she was wrong for not wanting to make friends but suddenly having 4 people decide the argument is over and should be friends again without acknowledging the cause of it isnt a good way to handle the argument

I would properly talk to your daughter about what has happened because you know that the other girl doesnt want to be friends but you dont know the cause

[Charleymouse]

Sorry just reread your post saying the mum was sleeping in the same villa as the girls after all.

My post makes no sense then after all.

[Pinkyyy]

I'm actually quite shocked that everyone thinks this needs to be paid back. She made an agreement and knew that there was a chance she would lose her money. She hasn't backed out far family or medical reasons, so she should not be refunded. I wouldn't dream of giving my money to someone who treated me/my daughter like that, especially not after silly threats.

[NellieandRufus]

I don’t know if it’s still running, but Centerparcs we’re offering a £100 discount if you changed your booking to a different date. If they do this then £25 each of the refund can be negated.

[WerkHorse]

Not all 17 year olds want to spend their time in the pub or on a beach. Not sure why it's deemed laughable to want to take part in activities like archery, climbing, kayaking etc. Good for them!

[DuineArBith]

@Charleyhorses

What would 17 year olds do?
Giggle, chat, cook, swim, eat out, repeat I would imagine.

This! Why on earth do people assume that every 17/18 year old is identical? It's the people who can't see why they would choose it who are weird.

[TheFairyCaravan]

What would I do?

Firstly, I'd take my blinkers off because it's highly likely that your angel daughter and her 3 angel mates have pushed this girl out which is why she's not going anymore. Then I'd make sure that she was paid back, at least by my child.

When DS1 (25) was in 6th form a group of his girl mates went to CP on holiday. They still do it. I don't know what they do, it's my idea of hell.

[gotothecooler]

What would 17 year olds do?
Giggle, chat, cook, swim, eat out, repeat I would imagine.

That's a standard weekend for my teens.