DP still wants to go on holiday.

[CornflakesForDinner]

Hello,

I just need to figure out if I'm being unreasonable and how best to deal with the situation.

We booked flights to stay at a friends villa in Spain for just under 2 weeks in summer holidays.

In January, we booked and paid for flights and car hire for DP, 2 children and I. The friend is not charging us for staying at the villa, which he has very kindly let us stay at before without taking any payment.

I didn't really say anything about the holiday to my DP as I would wait and see what the Covid situation is like nearer to the time.

We are due to fly out in 3 weeks and I would rather not go as I don't want to take any risks and encounter any health issues abroad.

I would rather spend the summer holidays staying with family we have not seen for so long.

When I mentioned my concerns to DP he said 'well I need a break and I'll take the kids with me'

I knew he would say the bit about needing a break but I honestly do not want him taking the kids.

Can he take the kids to Spain without my permission? Will he even be asked at the airport or is it for international flights?

Do you think staying in UK is right thing to do?

Thank you for reading x

Yes, he can take the kids if he’s their dad. And TBH, the kids have probably been looking forward to a holiday in Spain. You’ve booked and paid for everything, so I would go. I presume you’ll have health insurance.

But if you really don’t want to go, enjoy your child free time with family. That way, everyone gets the holiday you want.

Everyone gets the holiday they (not you) want

Id go too. Sounds lovely, and reasonably low risk

The risk in Spain is no greater, the healthcare out there is fairly robust too. Of course he can take the children on holiday! My ex nrp who only randomly sees the children can take them anywhere unchallenged, I have to carry around a 'permission' letter as I didn't keep his last name. But that's a different issue. If you really can't face it it might be a way for you to get some time to yourself

I would go. We are planning a weekend break in the UK next month and hopefully an overseas holiday in October - I can’t wait!

Just take all the necessary precautions and follow any directions when you’re over there.

Is DP their dad? If so then yes of course he can take them.

Honestly Spain are taking covid much more seriously than we are here, and the entire time you are in airports/ on the plane everyone has to wear masks. My parents live there half the year and have just gone back and have been impressed how it's all been handled compared to here

I wouldn’t go either OP, I’m sorry. Have refused to fly for our summer holiday and my dp was disappointed but we’ve booked something else

I wouldn’t want to go either OP. Many hotels/restaurants are still closed, Sitting on a plane & going through departures & arrivals wearing a mask would put me off completely too. Spain have locked down already in a few areas. No way would my DH be taking our children anywhere without my agreement. International travel during a pandemic is both selfish & foolish IMHO.

Bloody hell! If you don't feel safe going, that's one thing, but it's very unreasonable to expect your partner and kids to miss out on their holiday too! I would also take the kids on my own if I was your partner

Can’t wait to go to om homiday in 3 weeks!

If he’s their dad ( are you married?) he can take Them without your permission ( he doesn’t need it )

I would go. The risk is higher in the UK than in Spain.

you are perfectly entitled not to go if you don't want to but I think you would be enormously unreasonable to not let the children or DH go.

I am with your DP. Go on the holiday to Spain. Order several good washable face masks for each of you and just relax about it.

At some point we really have to learn to live with this and get back to some semblance of normality. I don’t think life should stay on hold indefinitely.

DH and I are looking to go to Spain probably in October after our youngest DD has started uni.

Certainly don’t try to stop DP and the children from going. That would be ludicrous.

Personally, I suspect Spain is a safer place than the UK anyway.

I’m supposed to be doing something similar but an hotel not a villa. I’m not so concerned about health issues but I’m a bit concerned about a potential local lock down which would render flying home impossible, and having to pay for the hotel for additional nights and new flights and extra nights for my dog in the boarding kennels (insurance won’t cover all this) as well as having to take additional annual leave from work.

Less importantly, I don’t like the idea of booking time slots for things such as the swimming pool and not being spontaneous - it won’t feel like a holiday.

I’m not bothered about masks. I barely notice them on people now. I’m also happy to socially distance and accept hand sanitiser etc etc. These things don’t bother me, they’re par for the course now.

My DH takes our children abroad twice a year (sometimes three times) and the break is heaven.

If your children and their dad still want to go then just let them and enjoy having some time to yourself. You shouldn’t stop them going just because you don’t want to.

I'd not go.

I'd not be comfortable dp taking the DC either.
It'd be a no.

If he's their dad, he absolutely can take them and AFAIK he doesn't need your permission - only if he'll be out of the country for longer than 30 days.

By all means you can stay home if you want, but I think it's hugely unfair to stop your DP going abroad. If he wants to take the kids too, good for him. He gets his holiday, you get some child-free time at home.

I think you're being OTT. I would go.

What is your reason for not wanting him to go?
It sounds like the perfect solution to me.

I think you're being overly anxious as well

As someone who should have been on holiday now, I say go. Do it for me!

Can he take the kids to Spain without my permission? Will he even be asked at the airport or is it for international flights?

It is an international flight.