DP still wants to go on holiday.

[CornflakesForDinner]

Hello,

I just need to figure out if I'm being unreasonable and how best to deal with the situation.

We booked flights to stay at a friends villa in Spain for just under 2 weeks in summer holidays.

In January, we booked and paid for flights and car hire for DP, 2 children and I. The friend is not charging us for staying at the villa, which he has very kindly let us stay at before without taking any payment.

I didn't really say anything about the holiday to my DP as I would wait and see what the Covid situation is like nearer to the time.

We are due to fly out in 3 weeks and I would rather not go as I don't want to take any risks and encounter any health issues abroad.

I would rather spend the summer holidays staying with family we have not seen for so long.

When I mentioned my concerns to DP he said 'well I need a break and I'll take the kids with me'

I knew he would say the bit about needing a break but I honestly do not want him taking the kids.

Can he take the kids to Spain without my permission? Will he even be asked at the airport or is it for international flights?

Do you think staying in UK is right thing to do?

Thank you for reading x

It's not just your choice though is it?

@Chicchicchicchiclana

I'm not sure who you're quoting, but quite clearly they meant that the chance of getting involved in an accident/being injured whilst driving is statistically higher than the chance of getting ill with covid

Stay at home then and feel safe or whatever. Cannot believe you think their own father doesn't have the right to take them on holiday.

Oh please relax. Just go.
And yes, he can take them.

My son is going on a plane in a couple of weeks. His risk of death from Covid 19 is 0.03%.

Risk of dying in a car crash is 1 in 103.

medium.com/wintoncentre/how-much-normal-risk-does-covid-represent-4539118e1196

I am extremely cautious and was terribly worried about going on holiday. I'm not worried about the plane. The air is clean on a plane (its filtered not recycled untreated). So based on infection rates and prevention we decided to go.
Then the airline cancelled our sodding flight. .
Go and have a great time.

It's not about risk of death from COVID but about the possibility that increased movement between countries could result in an increase spread of COVID returning some areas to lockdown and the wide ranging impact that lockdown for a second time would have. There has been huge political pressure to lift travel restrictions when we failed to reopen schools, to reopen businesses etc. We need to allow our lives to go back to normal and assess the impact of that first before we expose others to our risks. Lockdown in Spain was tough, people were not allowed out of their houses. By increasing circulation, especially by air, you are increasing the risk that the virus is spread again.

@Infullbloom

Walk through a quiet airport wearing a mask, sit on a plane near a few people who are also wearing masks

Have you been in an airport? It's not quite like that. Queue for check in, queue for security, queue to board, passport checks. Realistically you're going to come into contact with hundreds of people.

I wouldn't personally be holidaying abroad at the moment, I can't imagine it would be that enjoyable with all the restrictions and rules.

There are relatively few flights at the moment and airports are geared up to be safe. There will be nothing like the queues we’re used to.

Getting strong deja vu reading this thread. Very odd.

Yes DP is their dad.

We still need to sit down and have a good think about it.

Thank you for your comments seems a real mix of thoughts on this.

I've come on here for a little help and others opinions which I'm very grateful for - I do find a few of the comments a little rude which there is no need for.
A little niceness goes a long way and sat sitting behind a screen does not make it okay, so please do think before you type.

ChateauMargaux

But European countries have a FAR lower incidence of Covid19 in the community than the UK. It's those countries which are taking a bigger risk by allowing UK residents to visit.

If the flights are Easyjet you can change them without extra fees.
I think you're both entitled to feel the way you do, but if you can postpone rather than cancel, then that might pacify your DH.

*Also, if he does go, will he and the kids quarantine themselves for 2 weeks when they return?

If not, why not?*

Why would they need to? That's not the advice being given therefore its unnecessary

you can postpone rather than cancel, then that might pacify your DH

It wouldn’t “pacify” me. If the prospect of a holiday in the sun had kept me going for four months, I’d crawl over broken glass to have it.

I would go as a family with two adults.

I personally wouldn’t go as a single adult with children, as your DH is proposing, because in the unlikely event that the adult is taken very ill, what would you do?

Just my thoughts.

Amazed at the number of people telling you to go. You are more likely to get Covid if you go travelling through airports etc than if you stay at home. If you get Covid overseas you’re in a nasty situation: if you get hospitlised for months do family stay or leave you alone there, will insurance cover everything, etc etc.

No way would I go, we have cancelled all our holiday plans and most ppl I know have done the same. I think the UK is in denial about the situation right now. Second wave is going to hit us badly.

To be honest OP, if they were going to an all inclusive resort, with utensil sharing and drinks machines, I'd put my foot down.
A private villa, however? I would go, and be on top of hygiene when travelling.

Nope, I wouldn't be comfortable either.

Have you checked your insurance? Does it cover all eventualities like local lockdown, self isolation etc?

I'd go! I'm abroad right now. I've been abroad for a fortnight. It's been fabulous.

Risk of dying in a car crash is 1 in 103.

That sounds like bullshit statistics.

1 in 103 of what? I think there were just over 1800 road deaths in UK in 2019.

Risk of dying in a car crash is 1 in 103.

Bullshit. I wish people would engage their brain before regurgitating shite they’ve read elsewhere or overheard in a pub.

Phone up passport control and border agency to get a red flag put on their passports.
If no court order, both parents on bc need to consent to the children going abroad.
Not having consent is abduction.
He may still go. But does not mean he can sulk and manipulate you into sending the children.

Regardless of those suggesting it's as safe as being in the UK, I agree with you. You wouldn't catch me on public transport, in an airport, etc let alone in another country that's having additional lockdowns.

Phone up passport control and border agency to get a red flag put on their passports.

If my DH did that, I'd divorce him.