DP still wants to go on holiday.

[CornflakesForDinner]

Hello,

I just need to figure out if I'm being unreasonable and how best to deal with the situation.

We booked flights to stay at a friends villa in Spain for just under 2 weeks in summer holidays.

In January, we booked and paid for flights and car hire for DP, 2 children and I. The friend is not charging us for staying at the villa, which he has very kindly let us stay at before without taking any payment.

I didn't really say anything about the holiday to my DP as I would wait and see what the Covid situation is like nearer to the time.

We are due to fly out in 3 weeks and I would rather not go as I don't want to take any risks and encounter any health issues abroad.

I would rather spend the summer holidays staying with family we have not seen for so long.

When I mentioned my concerns to DP he said 'well I need a break and I'll take the kids with me'

I knew he would say the bit about needing a break but I honestly do not want him taking the kids.

Can he take the kids to Spain without my permission? Will he even be asked at the airport or is it for international flights?

Do you think staying in UK is right thing to do?

Thank you for reading x

I would go

And whilst it is your right to choose not to go it is very unreasonable to expect your DP and your children not to go because of your irrational fears.

I agree with you OP and wouldn’t be travelling overseas at the moment.

Also, if he does go, will he and the kids quarantine themselves for 2 weeks when they return?

If not, why not?

Come late September the U.K. will be back to square 1.

The people saying the risk is lower in Spain are missing the point. Air travel puts you at higher risk as you are in contact with lots more people. Presumably it's the travel rather than the villa bit that's the main issue. I don't know if I would go. I won't be booking a holiday abroad yet, but would be reluctant to lose the money.

In answer to your question, yes he can take the children alone. I hope you come to an agreement.

I'm with you op. I cannot understand this "need" to go away on holiday. To me it is way down the list of important things at the moment (and I usually love my holidays).

I wouldn't dream of flying anywhere unless I had family I absolutely had to see (life or death) and just can't see why people are booking their usual RyanAir or similar flights and jetting off to the Med for a couple of weeks. It's beyond crazy.

Thank you for your replies, DP is my husband. By international I meant long haul, sorry!

I don't want me or my family taking the risk, so as their mum I want to keep my children safe and at home. They obviously and me would be upset we can't go, but I can't just say let's go as they have been looking forward to it- I'm not trying to ruin anything but want to minimise the risk.

Having a child free time is bliss, but it's not about that though is it?

It's not beyond crazy. Walk through a quiet airport wearing a mask, sit on a plane near a few people who are also wearing masks. Go to a country with a much lower incidence of Covid.

I think you need to talk it through more because at the moment you seen entrenched in completely different viewpoints

Your children will be safe. They’re going to be back in school in a few weeks time and the flight and villa will be a hell of lot less risky than that. You do know children are the least affected by this virus?

I would definitely go as well. Why not? How is the travel/flight so risky? It is probably safer than many trips to the local supermarket.
In response to the question re quarantine - I'd imagine the answer would be no and for why not - well because it is not required and the incidence of covid-19 is lower in Spain so why bother??

Will your travel insurance cover you if you have to go to hospital with Covid? If not, I wouldn't go, if yes, I would consider going.

@CornflakesForDinner

In a few months, your children will be back at school socialising for everyone.

I think you need to seriously reevaluate your understanding of risk.

I assume you drive every day. Go for a walk on a pavement. Eat food. Walk down the stairs.

All of these carry a pretty similar risk of something bad happening when compared with the virus.

You're being OTT.

I've booked 3 holidays to happen in the next 7 weeks and I cannot bloody wait.

Travelling to Spain is no more dangerous... Actually its probably less dangerous than going on a UK holiday at the moment as they have less cases... You go in the uk and the weather is rubbish, you spend all the time in doors with other family and you are much more at risk... Think I'd rather be out in the sun in Spain to be honest...

No way would I go on a plane right now, and most people I've spoken to aren't keen to do so either. I also would not want to go abroad right now. I would not find it a relaxing holiday and what with local.lock downs, you never know what's going to happen.

"It's not beyond crazy. Walk through a quiet airport wearing a mask, sit on a plane near a few people who are also wearing masks. Go to a country with a much lower incidence of Covid."

Yes but why? holidays are nice but they are a luxury. Sitting on a plane with everyone (no guarantee it's going to be quiet) and all that recycled air strikes me as more risky than going to your local supermarket and meeting up with friends in the park.

Put it this way, even if for whatever Spain did get locked down, I know where I'd rather spend lockdown.

Sunny Spain. Crap weather U.K. hmmmm

Most of you know that most planes air is filtered etc ever 2-3 mins.... It is perfectly safe as long as you are sensible

You haven’t answered the question Is your DP their dad?

Walk through a quiet airport wearing a mask, sit on a plane near a few people who are also wearing masks

Have you been in an airport? It's not quite like that. Queue for check in, queue for security, queue to board, passport checks. Realistically you're going to come into contact with hundreds of people.

I wouldn't personally be holidaying abroad at the moment, I can't imagine it would be that enjoyable with all the restrictions and rules.

I wouldn't want to go but it would be the plane, not the holiday that would be the issue. But then I am very clinically vulnerable.

Do your children want to go?

Infullbloom

A friend who is cabin crew says airports are very quiet.

Queues would be socially distanced.

It is up to everyone to make their own decisions about risk. Driving is statistically a bigger risk.

I wouldn’t go. Airports/planes are best avoided at the moment in my view. What if you get ill over there?

What do you mean "driving is statistically a bigger risk" bigger risk than what? Such a trite, meaningless statement to make.

I just booked a drunken holiday last night to Amsterdam in two weeks.

If youre not comfortable then don't go but your dp is an adult and is allowed to make his own decisions and its unfair to stone wall him so he doesn't go.

Regarding the children that's a decision you both really need to discuss.

They'll be going to school soon and socialising with others anyway so I dont personally see the increased risk.

I'm with you OP. YANBU! If any of you were to become ill in Spain you would not be insured. It is not worth the risk as far as I am concerned. You could still have a good time here if you want to get away.

Your EHIC cards would entitle you to healthcare if any of you became ill. And some insurance policies would cover other costs.