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Original poster

Son's girlfriend thinks suntans are racist

446 replies

DollyDaydream70 · 12/07/2020 14:18

I could be opening a real can of worms here, but I'm genuinely gobsmacked by a few things my Son's 18yr old girlfriend said to me last night..

First of all she asked me did I think it's racist for white girls to copy black girl's style. I had no clue what she was referring to as 'black girl's style' so asked her to elaborate. She then referred to a singer called Ariane Grande (who I know literally 0 about) and said that she tans herself until she's almost black and 'dresses like a black girl'.

I've Googled said singer and all I can find is a pic of her with Nikki Minaj where, yes, she looks dark, but so what? We've been tanning since Coco Chanel made it stylish in the 1920's, and probably long before that! What are we supposed to do? Stay indoors when the sun shines ffs?!!

Son's GF also stated that it's racist for a white person to wear corn rows in their hair. I told her that my friends and I used to corn row our hair a lot in the mid to late 80's, we used to stick wooden or plastic beads on the ends of our plaits, it was quite the fashion at the time!

What do you all think about this? Please tell me this is all going too far. I'm genuinely quite perplexed that tanning and corn rows could be deemed to be racist!

OP posts:
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DeeCeeCherry · 12/07/2020 23:46

Walk around I don't really know what you're talking about.

If you live in the UK and have no knowledge of black schoolchildren being told their natural hair is messy, or that black women in the workplace often have stupid remarks made about their hair, or that in the corporate world straight hair is deemed best then there's not much point in me attempting to decipher your question anyway.

The real world out there is just beginning to change thankfully and not before time. This thread is like a 1970s timewarp

Defenbaker · 12/07/2020 23:47

@Skysblue I'm with you on this one. There are plenty of black people who bleach, straighten and colour their hair, and they don't experience accusations of appropriating white hair styles/culture. This nonsense has gone too far and is creating racial tension and resentment.

I enjoy spending time in the sunshine, it boosts my mood and I prefer the look of my skin with a tan. It's also important to expose skin to trigger vitamin D production, especially with the current pandemic. I don't take it to extremes, as I know the dangers of sunburn and skin cancer, but I'm not about to stop doing it to appease people with twisted ideas about perceived wrongs.

Vodkacranberryplease · 13/07/2020 00:00

@DeeCeeCherry If you live in the UK and have no knowledge of black schoolchildren being told their natural hair is messy, or that black women in the workplace often have stupid remarks made about their hair, or that in the corporate world straight hair is deemed best then there's not much point in me attempting to decipher your question anyway.

A friend of mind who works in the City told me about this. Apparently you have to have a specific kind of hair to look 'professional' as a black woman - braids but tied back. Fucking ridiculous. Who even decides this shit?

@DollyDaydream70 I also think you should tell little miss woke about feminism. Why is her example about a woman? Why is it always women who are examined, found wanting, and told they should change? Why AG instead of the many tedious white boys walking around pretending to be LA Gsngstas?

The constant debate thanks to TRA is all about what women do wrong, what we should give up, how we should behave. It's just more misogyny.

Tell her that she needs to stop being sexist and start thinking about what men can do better, what they are doing wrong etc. Young men are culturally appropriating all over the place, how about she focus on that instead?

Emmmie · 13/07/2020 00:08

Whereorwhere Ginger hair , in my opinion, is the prettiest, most magical hair colour there is. Teasing of people with ginger hair is a UK thing for some reason. I just don’t get it.

PlanDeRaccordement · 13/07/2020 00:15

*tedious white boys walking around pretending to be LA
But many gangs in LA are white?

Cosa Nostra white Italian mafia gangsters.
VBWL white boy gangsters, mostly skaters and surfers
Armenian Power or AP, more white boys
Hells Angels white boy motorcycle gang
Nazi Lowriders White Nazi boy motorcycle gang
Abergil Jewish white boy gang.

PlanDeRaccordement · 13/07/2020 00:20

A little bit racist vodka to say that any white boy pretending to be a LA gangster is appropriating minority culture. Since when are gangs and organised crime not part of white culture? They’re not all perfect law abiding fine upstanding citizens....

JoyFreeCake · 13/07/2020 00:21

I love "do better". It's a surefire sign that I don't have to pay attention to whatever self-righteous, patronising claptrap the author is coming out with.

PotholeParadise · 13/07/2020 00:54

Ooh, I definitely want to tell teenage boys* walking around with their trousers halfway down that they are appropriating something. American culture? Martian culture? Anything, if it gets them to stop!

*All the ones I see doing it are white

NKFell · 13/07/2020 00:59

vodka said “LA Gangsta” not gangsters in general. The point to me was clear, why are women getting called out for blackfishing and appropriation but white men who dress like Bloods and Crips don’t.

Heyhih3 · 13/07/2020 01:01

I very much doubt your Sons GF was saying if you have a sun tan you are racist of course not!!! However what you must have misunderstood OP is that certain styles have come from a black culture indeed and nobody batted an eye lid but then somebody like KIM K comes along with braids and passes this off as her OWN STYLE... so it’s not that anybody can’t have braids they can!! However let’s not be ignorant and make out like KIM K invented this she didn’t it is from a black culture mainly

This is probably the point your Sons GF was making

MiniMum97 · 13/07/2020 01:18

Great point - multiculturalism is now considered bad and cultural segregation is trendy. It's exclusionary and regressive to limit our experiences and tastes to only those of our own culture. Black people should be free to straighten their hair and white people should be free to wear cornrows. Does anybody here remember Martin Luther King's dream where people might be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character?

This

As Malcom X predicted....we need to stop concerning ourselves with fucking hairstyles and whether or not we can use the word "Master" and actually ensure black people have equality. All this ridiculous debate is just a way of avoiding dealing with the real issues.

I am sure we have companies out there at the moment amending the odd fucking word in their procedures and instruction manuals but they will be doing fuck all to make sure there are equal numbers for black people in their senior management and in their board rooms.

Son's girlfriend thinks suntans are racist
Deadringer · 13/07/2020 01:26

Your son's girlfriend sound's like a pain in the hole.

LaurieMarlow · 13/07/2020 02:39

However let’s not be ignorant and make out like KIM K invented this

What has Kim K ever done or said to suggest she think she invented plaits?

eaglejulesk · 13/07/2020 03:02

The world gets more ridiculous by the day!

Kokeshi123 · 13/07/2020 03:08

Cultural appropriate concern never seems to get extended to the eating of food.

Nobody has ever been able to give me a coherent and satisfactory explanation of this double standard.

But I'm wondering why your son's girlfriend is even bringing this up. It seems like an odd topic to talk to your boyfriend's mother about. Is she the kind of person who always seems eager to start an argument?

Pixxie7 · 13/07/2020 03:32

It sounds to me that she is being idealistic of course it not racist. I would argue it’s the reverse she is being rather childish.

timeisnotaline · 13/07/2020 03:32

I haven't been living under a rock, I choose not to watch or read the news though
How can you not be living under a rock if you avoid news? Or is this some strange way of saying you extensively read international journals instead and spend hours a day on Twitter?

gumball37 · 13/07/2020 03:44

@MrsFionaCharming

I don’t know much about her, but I always thought AG was a woman of colour. Having just googled I’m a bit shocked. Is this not essentially blackface?
Those do not look like the same person...
Anordinarymum · 13/07/2020 03:52

I don't think you are racist. IF Ariana Grande wants to look black then let her get on with it.
If you were ill informed I am sure you (and me) are not now !

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback · 13/07/2020 04:15

I think a lot of it is about intent.

For example, if someone makes food local to my home country, listens to the old music (although god knows why they would because it sounds like cats being murdered) and wears the clothes, I don't find it offensive in any way. Especially in regards to the food, I have a sense of pride because I know the food is really good and a lot of white people really like it, and often ask me about how to cook it in the "right" way.

If they then start pulling their eyes into slits, stick a lampshade on their head and say "herro" it becomes offensive.

I think people get way too bogged down in all of this stuff when common sense is good enough.

Besides, how far back do you want to go? At what point does one culture become the true owner of something? All cultures borrow from each other, and invasions lead to adopting things. Japanese people celebrate Christmas, but they do it very differently to westerners. Should they be villified for this? Is It racist? Are they not allowed to do Christmas because they don't do it "right" and don't have a true insight into what it's like to be northern European?

JustAnotherPoster00 · 13/07/2020 05:22

This nonsense has gone too far and is creating racial tension and resentment.

No systemic racism and the killing of poc by the very people employed to protect them does that

HTH

Coffeecak3 · 13/07/2020 05:54

I remember many years ago talking to an Asian girl only a few years younger than me so she was about 20 and me 24. She was wearing a beautiful, Nina Ricci shalwar kameez. I said that I would love something similar.
She outright laughed at me and told me I would look ridiculous.

She was probably right.

LaurieMarlow · 13/07/2020 06:50

No systemic racism and the killing of poc by the very people employed to protect them does that

Policing segregation and divisions between cultures can also do that though. It’s not an either/or situation. HTH.

LaurieMarlow · 13/07/2020 06:52

If they then start pulling their eyes into slits, stick a lampshade on their head and say "herro" it becomes offensive.

That’s just old fashioned racism.

Which is where I think this argument begins and ends.

nancy75 · 13/07/2020 06:54

@Biancadelrioisback

Where do some of you live where you get the piss taken out of you by people driving round in cars? DH and his whole family are red heads and I've got very, very pale ginger hair too. Never once had someone about anything out of a car window or bully any of DHs lot for their hair...
South London