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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be uncomfortable about pet ownership?

122 replies

aw1459 · 12/07/2020 07:46

Firstly, I know that humans have kept pets for hundreds, if not thousands of years, they provide companionship, and are supposed to be h
good for people's mental health and to reduce stress, but.... A friend of mine has just bought an 8 week old kitten from Gumtree. I went round to see the friend yesterday and the kitten, whilst cute, just made me feel sad. It's still a tiny animal separate from its mum and siblings in a house with no other cats, or animals, just friend and her DH. If she had got a cat from a rescue centre, I would maybe be a bit more comfortable with the idea but this kitten has been bred for human pleasure and the way friend talked about having to get a particular breed because of the way it looks made the kitten purchase sound a bit like buying a designer handbag.

So over night I've been thinking a bit more about the morals /ethics of owning an animal because it gives you pleasure and about the human having control over the animal's life. I know cats may be slightly different because when older they might be able to come and go as they want but if you own a dog or a rabbit etc, the human controls most things the pet can / can't do. I've never really given this much thought before so am I being too moralistic about the pet ownership or are there others who agree with me?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 12/07/2020 07:50

I have a dog. I see what you mean. Sometimes I go to take her for a walk and think it seems kind of barbaric in a way to lead an animal around with a chain around its neck.

DdraigGoch · 12/07/2020 07:52

She bought a kitten on Gumtree? Not a responsible pet owner then...

Tlollj · 12/07/2020 07:54

I think you’re giving animals human emotions and feelings that they simply don’t have.
If the cat is well looked after I think it’ll be perfectly happy.

Madre1972 · 12/07/2020 07:56

The issue is your friends attitude to pet owning not pet owning in general. No responsible pet owner touches anything off gumtree!

I have horses, dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs and even a hamster. They live an absolute life of luxury here, most of them came to us as unwanted once the original owners kids couldn’t be bothered any more. I feel not one shed of guilt at owning pets, they have full and enriched lives here and I wouldn’t be without them.

00100001 · 12/07/2020 07:57

Well, I'm not entirely sure why you think rescue animals haven't been bred purely for human pleasure.

Most bred animals are entirely for human beings for food/companionship/work/clothes etc

But I take your point.

Your friend shouldn't have bought that kitten from Gumtree, it will have been bred unethically a 'kitten farm' or something.

isabellerossignol · 12/07/2020 07:57

I'm uncomfortable about people buying animals on Gumtree.

But dogs tend to be ridiculously besotted with their owners, so dog ownership doesn't bother me. And cats are pretty independent and come and go as they please, so I don't think they're too bothered either. Well looked after pets have a far nicer life than they would have as a wild animal. Nice cosy bed, food every day, medical care. I think pet ownership is fine if you're a responsible owner.

PurpleFlower1983 · 12/07/2020 07:58

I think in an ideal world pets wouldn’t exist. I have always had pets but I would absolutely trade that if I though banning pets would go some way to stopping animal neglect/cruelty. Rabbits have a particularly raw deal and are easily the most neglected pet especially as most people don’t understand what they need.

Fluffymulletstyle · 12/07/2020 07:58

I agree, it can make me feel uncomfortable. We have rabbits that are free to roam outside in the day in a secure garden. They seem happy. If they were in a hutch all day I would feel differently. Birds make me feel the saddest if in a tiny cage.

00100001 · 12/07/2020 07:59

@Whichoneofyoudidthat

I have a dog. I see what you mean. Sometimes I go to take her for a walk and think it seems kind of barbaric in a way to lead an animal around with a chain around its neck.

But it's not like you're parading the dog.the reason it is on a lead, is for safety. Both the dog's and people and other animals.

GrapefruitsAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 12/07/2020 08:00

I agree. I have a cat that I bought for DD. I have grown very attached to her and she is adored by the whole family but I often question the ethics of it all.

Outdoor cats in my area of London risk being run over or attacked by foxes. You can barely walk past a lamp post without seeing another cat missing poster. Indoor cats are cut off from their natural environment.

Babdoc · 12/07/2020 08:00

Agree entirely. I feel particularly sorry for rabbits kept in solitary confinement in tiny hutches, when they are social creatures which live in warrens.
I have always had a rescue cat as a pet. I get them as adults. They have a cat flap, and a large garden, and are completely free to leave at any time if they do not wish to live with me. I would not consider having any pet that required imprisonment.
Over the years I have had affection and companionship from each cat. They have all chosen to stay for life - my last one was 21 when he died. I respect their personal space, and they are free to express normal cat behaviour- they enjoy mousing in the hedgerows and fields behind my house. I think they have a good life.

Toilenstripes · 12/07/2020 08:01

Buying a kitten on Gumtree is shit. The right thing to do is adopt from a shelter or sanctuary. In terms of the morality of ‘owning’ an animal I believe that this is negated as much as possible by the animal being truly part of the family and its needs and health always being considered.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 12/07/2020 08:01

Well yes I know that. If I had a major issue then I wouldn’t have a dog at all. It’s just a thought that occurs to me sometimes.

Jaxhog · 12/07/2020 08:06

Although I agree that pets from places like gumtree just encourage irresponsible breeding, I do think that adopting rescue animals is fine. We have 2 rescue cats (the latest in a long line of rescues) who bring us great pleasure as companions and who we love to bits back. They are both neutered (males) to ensure they don't make more unwanted kittens.

I don't think that banning pets would work, but I would like to see some sort of licencing to discourage unregulated breeding and poor owners.

popcornlover · 12/07/2020 08:14

YANBU

picklemewalnuts · 12/07/2020 08:17

I partially agree with you. A MNetter has hamsters which have great, huge enriched environments and as a result show loads of individuality and character. Generally speaking, that isn't the case.

I wouldn't keep small animals again, though I would rescue.

That said, a pregnant cat moved in on me, had her kittens, then relatively quickly got fed up with them and moved out again. She really didn't like them much, and cuffed them out of her way. I'm not sure the kitten in question would have lived in a family group much longer.

bettsbattenburg · 12/07/2020 08:17

Yanbu. We have had pets for years but always rescue ones. Now we foster rescue pets.

kikisparks · 12/07/2020 08:18

YANBU. I have a rescue pet and would always rescue because it’s caring for animals that are already here and have nowhere to go but I’d never buy an animal and encourage the seller to breed more.

user8558 · 12/07/2020 08:23

I agree OP.

Especially animals that need to live in cages. It is cruel.

Moondust001 · 12/07/2020 08:24

@Whichoneofyoudidthat

I have a dog. I see what you mean. Sometimes I go to take her for a walk and think it seems kind of barbaric in a way to lead an animal around with a chain around its neck.

So don't. My dog had never had any form of lead around his neck. There are plenty of other options.

As for the OP... yeah, I see what you mean. My dog is fed a plentiful but healthy diet, gets regular lengthy exercise, is played with to provide mental stimulation, gets to lounge around and sleep whenever he wants, and gets new toys on a regular basis. He has private healthcare, and is better insured than I am. All whilst I go out to work to support him. It's a bloody awful life for him.

vanillandhoney · 12/07/2020 08:24

It's a weird one, isn't it?

I have pets - three cats and a dog and I love them to bits. They're family to me and have done wonders for my mental health and happiness.

I do think so long as they're treated well and are happy and healthy, it's not so much of a problem. My cats spend most of their days sleeping - the dog comes to work with me, gets to run and play on the beach or up the woods with other dogs. I think he has a pretty good life, really.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 12/07/2020 08:25

I know cats may be slightly different because when older they might be able to come and go as they want but if you own a dog or a rabbit etc, the human controls most things the pet can / can't do.

Every day I take DDog to the park and try to set free from his highly controlled life. Trouble is, he keeps following me home again, and as I type he's under my duvet licking my feet.

Perhaps the dog has Stockholm syndrome?

PurrBox · 12/07/2020 08:25

To me, there is something wrong with the attitude that animals exist for human gratification, and get their value from the fact that humans value them. This attitude goes along with the feeling that it is ok to treat animals who aren't usually pets in an appalling manner as long as it is out of sight.

I am a hypocrite though, because I adore my cats, feed them commercially produced cat food, and sometimes eat dairy products myself. (Lots of other hypocrisy too)

vanillandhoney · 12/07/2020 08:26

@Whichoneofyoudidthat

I have a dog. I see what you mean. Sometimes I go to take her for a walk and think it seems kind of barbaric in a way to lead an animal around with a chain around its neck.

But you're choosing to walk her like that.

My dog is pretty much never on his lead unless we're somewhere near a road. Our walks are on dog friendly beaches or on the fells or up the woods - he's off lead from the moment he gets out of the car of the moment he goes back in. I always carry a lead just in case, but I genuinely can't remember the last time I used it.

Of course if you walk your dog on roads and pavements then a lead is necessary for their safety but it's certainly not an essential part of dog walking on a daily basis.

Soubriquet · 12/07/2020 08:28

You can be a good pet owner and still buy them irresponsibility

I’ve gotten all my pets from some form of online selling

My cat I got from Facebook at 8 weeks old. She’s 4 now and is healthy and spoiled

My dog 1 was 12 weeks and was kept separate from her mum because mum had turned on her as she was old enough to care for herself now.

Dog 2 was 8 weeks.

All are completely healthy and happy.

No point in putting human emotions on animals as most young are rejected by their parents once they are fully weaned. They don’t want current babies about whilst they hunt for another virile Male for their new litter

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