AIBU that this is likely to happen?

[LastRoloIsMine]

OK so this may be a hoax/fake news from twitter but regardless of that and given I have seen so many my tesco/Asda/Hermes driver text me and asked me out posts on MN this worries me.

Back story she went to the pub the bar tender brought her drink said no charge.
She has not been on Tinder for 2 years & has a boyfriend plus her FB is set to highest settings.

AIBU to think this will happen to lots of women who hand over their personal details and I fear it could go further than just a message?

I had this happen to me and I informed the police. He was sending things to my house aswell though. Also pretty graphic photos to my phone. He was my postman!

@Realitea - what was the outcome?

Why did your postman have your 'phone number?

Well the bar tender should sacked! Absolutely abusing his position.

To be fair though, it wouldn’t be too hard previously (before contactless) to get someone’s name and do a search online. Their names on the card.

I’d be more concerned they tried using my details fraudulently though.

"The police can't issue a spot fine if they don't witness the crime - it's completely different from finding someone in a park."

They used my details that I gave them strictly for 1 purpose for a purpose I did not consent to. Is that not enough evidence?

I can't see how that could be an appropriate situation for a spot fine from a criminal justice perspective, because there's too much margin for error - the police know the phone number the text allegedly came from, but that's it. What if someone else used their phone? What if the recipient lied? Everyone has a right to a fair trial and the only reason spot fines are acceptable is because the police officer witnesses the offence actually happening with their own eyes in real time.

I'm not saying criminal fines for individuals aren't the way to go, OP, as that might prove a more effective deterrent than employment sanctions, to individuals, but police spot fines won't work.

@Yesitsthethruth123 From opening my post - phone bill
He was arrested
It was quite a scary time. I was shocked he was able to keep his job and heard he had done it to other women too

How on earth was a postman opening peoples mail and stalking them allowed to keep his job?! What was he charged with criminally?

I'm in Scotland so haven't been to a pub or restaurant yet - do you seriously have to give your address?

Not to the one pub I went to. Just name and number and confirm the branch you are visiting.

After reading some of the replies on this thread, now I know why some in test and trace never call back.

Of course it’s a breach of confidentiality.
I would report him to his boss.
Totally inappropriate.

do you seriously have to give your address?

No, there is no requirement in law.

However, pubs have wide powers to decline service (rightly) and they could decline to serve you if they didn't off entirely their own bat.

Report him to the pub.

If you cant follow the rules of the track and trace you shouldn't be using the facilities.

He was wrong but that does not give you the right to break the rules.

How much longer is the behaviour likely to continue when it’s been reported? Probably not long.

If you had actually encountered anything being described on this thread you wouldn't be making such naive statements. But at least the limitations of your response are clear.

He was wrong but that does not give you the right to break the rules.

What rules and qho has broken them?

all he needed was her name which he got from the track and trace requirement.

Which he could get a thousand different ways.

When you go to a pub or restaurant you have to give your name and number for track and trace covid rules

I have to do this to book a table in any restaurant and have done for decades. There isn’t a massive issue with women being harassed because of this.

I'd be using a fake name and number. That simple
Brilliant, you can be the one responsible for ensuring the next cluster in your area isn’t brought under control, how many deaths on your hands are you willing to put up with because of this “principled” stance?

Why should women not go out cos some men are dickheads and abuse their position? Sounds much like if she didnt wanna be raped, dont wear a mini skirt

Yeah, this isn’t that, not even close.

What people are saying is that the issue is with the man, who took an opportunity, but he similarly could have done the same when looking at ID, a bank card for payment etc. The issue isn't inherently with track and trace, but with blokes who feel entitled to contact women just because they can, and that's a much deeper issue. By giving fake details it renders the whole scheme pointless, selfish.

Feminist books should be on the national curriculum for all from 10 upwards.
@lastroloismine That would be great.
FWR is my lifeline in today's general craziness.

Ugh. I messed up the Bold.

@user135664323455

How much longer is the behaviour likely to continue when it’s been reported? Probably not long.

If you had actually encountered anything being described on this thread you wouldn't be making such naive statements. But at least the limitations of your response are clear.

Your statement is equally naive - there is nothing in my post to indicate whether I have or haven't experienced stalking and harassment. FWIW, I have. And it was dealt with appropriately and satisfactorily at the time by the police. Hence my comment. 👍🏻

@user135664323455 - I'll also add, that my issue was with the sweeping statement made my OP in respect of all women being "conditioned from birth" to accept bad behaviour from men. I don't. And I never will. So I'd call that a naive comment too.

my issue was with the sweeping statement made my OP in respect of all women being "conditioned from birth" to accept bad behaviour from men. I don't. And I never will. So I'd call that a naive comment too.

I can't speak for the user in question, but when I hear anyone say women are conditioned from birth in this context, I take it to mean in terms of societal structural oppression as opposed to a commentary on the actual parenting each woman has received.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that if a woman is raised by a father, they must have been conditioned because all men are pigs when they say that.

I meant poster in question.

Spot on LonginesPrime

LastRoloIsMine

So because men cannot be trusted to folliw the rules I as a women need to stay indoors? “

I expect it will work both ways, some women are just as pushy as some men.

I think we've got several different issues all being intermingled at various points. If someone has broken the law, report it to the appropriate authority. I feel for those who have been "conditioned," but that's a responsibility of every parent to raise their child to respect boundaries whether male or female. I certainly was never taught not to walk alone/after dark/not to drink to excess/any other "self-protection." I was taught to look after friends (male and female) and treat others with respect. Yes I've had unwanted attention from a male who asked for my number. I told him I wasn't interested. He got it from my friend (female) and when he text me I rang him straight back and told him to go forth and multiply. Issue dealt with. Male friend had the exact same experience (different bloke!!). If as women we're determined to demonise men we will always be the victim. Be responsible for yourself and your friends, encourage the good in our children and challenge the bad. Please stop generalising men as demons and women as fighting this constant battle against them. I say this as someone who has worked in both male and female dominated industries and am returning to a male dominated one. I'm not treated differently because I don't act differently.