To not allow my husband to use my car to teach his son to drive?

[Bengal12]

My stepson is taking driving lessons and my husband assumed I would be OK with him using my car to supplement the teaching.
His car is automatic and mine is manual which is what my DSS is learning to drive.
I love my stepson dearly but I think he should learn in the learner vehicle with the instructor. I am not overly precious about my car (a small runaround) but I intend to keep it for the next 8-10 years as I don’t drive much and don’t want to have an awkward situation If anything goes wrong with the clutch etc. I can tell that DH is v disappointed but I even get annoyed when my husband who is not used to driving manual any more stalls it or delays changing gear and ends up revving it up too much. I’ve paid for some of my DSS’s driving lessons but I just don’t want him - or anyone else - using my car as a learner vehicle.
Thoughts?

Of course YANBU

It's up to you who drives your car and if his father doesn't have a car he can teach him in, does his mother or a grandparent?

Unless it’s a really expensive / difficult to drive car, I think yab a bit u. Dh and I both have automatics. When the time comes with dd to learn, we may have to change that. Idk.

Lots of people don’t want someone to learn in their car. Chances of them doing some major damage is probably not as high as you think but I can understand your point. If he doesn’t want to pay for lessons then tour hubby can pay to hire a dual control car from car showroom places. Then tour hubby will be fully in control of the car as he will have a break and clutch.

I drove a spanking brand new car when I was still a learner. Dh bought a brand new VW Polo and I was 2 weeks away from passing my test. We put L plates on and off we went.

Recently we did a dummy insurance on my car to add 17 year old Ds. My car is worth about £6k it was only £350 for the year for a learner. It is an economical car.

It rockets up when they pass their test as there is no longer an adult in the car. Or it is costly as a learner if your car is some 2L turbo charged thing.

Driving lessons twice per week is sufficient to learn

Is that official? I needed way more than 2 hours a week to pass. I really had to practise Independently. Made a huge difference after I failed a couple of times.

Also I didn't have any additional practice in any parent's or grandparents' cars. I know many people who didn't

I find the idea that the cars are so separate quite odd. I know someone has to be the registered keeper but when we had 2 cars we had 2 cars. One was in each name but if I fancied taking one instead of the other I would just sat to DH 'can you take X car tomorrow as I want to use Y for a change' that worked both ways
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Also, does your DH have a full manual license?

@123456abcd

Confused by those who say they had no practise in a family car? Perhaps I'm out of date but I learnt to drive way back when (1979-80) and I thought/assumed practise outside of lesson was the norm.

Doesn't happen here in Germany, so not the norm everywhere.

@123456abcd

Confused by those who say they had no practise in a family car? Perhaps I'm out of date but I learnt to drive way back when (1979-80) and I thought/assumed practise outside of lesson was the norm.

I never had a go of my dads car, not once. All my lessons were with an instructor (99/20s) Thinking about it, my friends did and my dad is a twat in many ways, I'd certainly let my dad drive my car to learn too.

He can still get some practice in in his dad's car.

Whose car will he be expecting to borrow when he passes?

YANBU.
No chance!
If your DH is so bothered, he can change his automatic car for a manual that his DS can drive, or he can buy his son a manual car of his own...
If you let DSS use yours now DH will obviously expect his son to borrow it once he's passed his test.

You’re being very mean, OP. Driving lessons are expensive. The more practice he has, the fewer driving lessons he’ll need.

Out of interest, who is paying for the driving lessons?

My daughter!! It my dad

I am in the UK and wasnt allowed to practice in my parents' car. First learned in the early 1990s but didn't pass until I was around age 26 (3rd time lucky) by which time I no longer stayed at home.

@LittleEntrepeneur

You’re being very mean, OP. Driving lessons are expensive. The more practice he has, the fewer driving lessons he’ll need.

Out of interest, who is paying for the driving lessons?

I don't think she's being mean! It's not her responsibility, she doesn't need the inconvenience if her car is damaged, being without it while it's repaired, and the lad should learn from a professional so as not to pick up bad habits.

It worked better for DS1 to drive the automatic first. He gained road awareness and confidence before the dreaded clutch and stalling. Again his own insurance sorted in 10 minutes. He ended up taking his test in an automatic as his driving instructor became ill and it was too close to uni to find another one.

I took my driving lessons back in the 90's and the advice I was given was not to practice with anyone other than a qualified instructor, so that I wouldn't pick up any 'bad habits', I'm wondering when that changed, or did I just have a real stickler of a teacher?

I'd let him if it was me. It's a nice thing to do to support your DSS and he's not going to do any harm realistically.

Your being mean. My dad said 5 lessons then he would take me out to practise. And he was super precious about his car. Dss will pass quicker practising with his dad. Yabu

@xanthippe8 you had a driving instructor trying to make the most money he could out of u!

I learnt in the 90s too

Yabu

[quote PrayingandHoping]@xanthippe8 you had a driving instructor trying to make the most money he could out of u!

I learnt in the 90s too[/quote]
Well I didn't need many lessons and I passed first time. My sis practiced with my dad and failed her first four tests!

I think you’re being mean. Four of our children have had lessons in our cars, in fact we made sure we taught them how to move off and clutch control before even starting lessons with an instructor to save time and money. None of them managed to ruin the clutch or gearbox in the process. It would cost instructors a fortune if they were that easy to damage. Insurance excuse is also a load of rubbish. Learners are pretty cheap to insure as they always have a responsible adult supervising, the price rockets once they pass their test but not whilst learning. Never mind the fact you can’t actually get lessons from a driving instructor at the moment unless you are a key worker.

I practised in my dad’s car and when my daughter was learning she practised in my old car which she then had when she passed.

My son will practice in my car when he learns next year.

All my friends whose kids are driving have let them practice in their cars. I thought it was then norm to be honest.

YANBU, the presumption alone would piss me off. I save up to get my cars and maintain them and look after them properly, a learner Is more likely to scratch or dent a car. Besides, I drive big estate cars so not an ideal learner car.