To not allow my husband to use my car to teach his son to drive?

[Bengal12]

My stepson is taking driving lessons and my husband assumed I would be OK with him using my car to supplement the teaching.
His car is automatic and mine is manual which is what my DSS is learning to drive.
I love my stepson dearly but I think he should learn in the learner vehicle with the instructor. I am not overly precious about my car (a small runaround) but I intend to keep it for the next 8-10 years as I don’t drive much and don’t want to have an awkward situation If anything goes wrong with the clutch etc. I can tell that DH is v disappointed but I even get annoyed when my husband who is not used to driving manual any more stalls it or delays changing gear and ends up revving it up too much. I’ve paid for some of my DSS’s driving lessons but I just don’t want him - or anyone else - using my car as a learner vehicle.
Thoughts?

[nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut]

I didn't have extra practice and was fine passing my test. If he needs to practice he can drive the auto. I actually passed in an auto due to a medical condition but my instructor taught both and had 2 cars and he often let me drive myself home in the manual after my lesson, I never had trouble switching between the two. The odd stall at first when I forgot which car I was driving. Driving is driving, unless he has major problems with the clutch and gears and specifically needs to work on that then it doesn't matter which car he drives. If he does have problems with gears then I wouldnt let him use mine either.

[CoffeeBeansGalore]

You are not being unreasonable.
We bought both our daughters cheap little runarounds to learn in. Eldest then continued to use hers after she passed & paid for her own insurance until she bought a new one. (Youngest hasn't passed yet but will do the same).

[123456abcd]

It's not expensive, you just buy learner driver insurance www.admiral.com/learner-driver-insurance

[MoistMolly]

Surely, if you're married, you both own both cars?

[2155User]

@MoistMolly

Possibly when it comes down to the finer details on paper, but I definitely bought my car with my money and DH bought his car with his money

[Nicknacky]

I’m married. I own my car and H owns his.

[xanthippe8]

YANBU, the only other people allowed to drive my car are the engineers who service it and put it through the MOT.

[safariboot]

YANBU, it's your car.

But once he's good enough, if your son CAN have some private practice it will probably mean he needs half or less the amount of paid lessons before passing.

But I'd say only 10% of learning to drive is car control. 90% is learning how to deal with all the other idiots on the road, and the junction designs that make you wonder what the heck the council was thinking. Therefore DSS can perfectly well practice in your husband's automatic.

[Nat6999]

I bought a cheap, small car when I was learning, my parent's car was too big for me to learn in. My dad took me out every weekend to practice until I passed my test. I kept it for about 6 months after passing & then my parents helped me buy an almost brand new car.

[PrayingandHoping]

I'd let him. They learn to be much better drivers if they can practise outside of lessons.

What's he going to drive when he passes? If it's neither of your cars then is it's an option u buy him a cheap runaround?

[Somethingkindaoooo]

[quote ExclamationPerfume]@2020iscancelled try more like £25/£30 a lesson minimum.[/quote]
Where ARE you guys? My daughter just learned and the going rate was 70- 80 quid for a double lesson.


OP
Who's paying for his lessons?

[Parker231]

As you are a family, do you not both have use of either car?

[netflixismysidehustle]

Yanbu

Learner driver insurance wasn't as pricy as new driver insurance but the point is the car is yours and it's up to you.

There's nothing wrong practicing one manuals and automatics imo. I'd say it was a good thing to try both so he knew which car to buy when he passed.

It's not at all unusual to practice with an instructor and family car ime. (I'm assuming the family car is not a massive car like a Range Rover)

[Artesia]

If your DH doesn’t like it he can buy his son a run around car.



Yeah- cos buying, taxing and insuring another car purely for DSS to practice driving in, rather than using the cars they already have, is perfectly normal.

[OrchidJewel]

Just agree (not really meaning it), then ask for the price to add him on, that will put them off. I wouldn't let him use my car either

[puzzledpiece]

A learner driver who has had a moderate number of lessons won't make a hash of the clutch and gears. Cars nowadays are far more robust and easier to drive.

I would be very upset if I was your husband, you are supposed to be co parenting, and this is just mean. To say your stepson as though he is less than your own children, is horrible. If you let your children use your car then he should too.

[Osirus]

[quote BobbieDraper]@Backbackandforth

£400 extra A MONTH!? What the hell kind of car did your parents drive?[/quote]
It was about £80 for three months for me recently as a learner to be added to my husband’s insurance. On a Land Rover.

Surely £400 must be for a year?!

[museumum]

Average lesson cost is about £25 and I’d imagine a bit of extra practice could save you 5-6 lessons so it’s definitely worth the cost of insurance.
I learned as a student away from home so no opportunity to practice and it was quite frustrating. Even a couple of hours in an empty car park would really have helped.

[Osirus]

I paid £65 per lesson (2 hours).

[SandyY2K]

Surely, if you're married, you both own both cars?

No.

I paid for my car and its registered in my name.

DH bought his and he is the owner.

My DD is using my mums manual for extra lessons, as DH and I drive automatics.
My mum is more than happy for this.

It does seem a bit mean of you to be honest IMO.... if the clutch goes or your SS caused other mechanical problems, then agree on advance with you H that he will pay for the damage.

[CasuallyMasculine]

YABU, all learners need practice in addition to with a driving instructor, just make sure they’ve had some lessons beforehand so not a total beginner.

Some might. DS learned to drive with two weeks of intensive lessons because his theory test was due to run out and he needed his licence to drive for his uni placement job.

There would have been no point in him practising in DH’s car as it’s got a far bigger engine than the Ford Fiesta he did his lessons in and he wasn’t an experienced enough driver to switch confidently between two completely different cars.

[Natasha9511]

You can rent the cars with dual controls from Arnold Clark and I’m pretty sure they come insured too!

Oh and by the way, I only ever stalled once when I was a learner and it was because I changed from driving from a diesel to a petrol! Not all learners stall haha, and it took me 6 times to pass (so I was not the best driver)

[CrotchetyQuaver]

No you DH is BU. He can buy and insure a car his son which they can practice in now and can be his own when he passes. My insurance company made it prohibitively expensive to insure my girls ilfor my car, so they had nothing at all to practice in (DH was unemployed at the time so buying something wasn't an option) and they did it all right up to the test on driving lessons alone. It can be useful that way since they don't get conflicting opinions of the "right" way to drive.

[Backbackandforth]

@ExclamationPerfume it was unfortunately it was me desperately searching for quotes. New and not cheap vehicle with no option at that time for solo learner policy. Inflated prices to that extent are insurers simply saying they don’t want to cover you.

[Jaxhog]

Is it insured for a learner?

While I can understand your DH wanting to give his son extra lessons, he shouldn't be doing this without discussing it with you first and getting suitable insurance beforehand. Which he should pay for. In any case, how good is your DH in instructing someone to drive a manual car.

Thinking about it, I suspect I'd say no too.