To not allow my husband to use my car to teach his son to drive?

[Bengal12]

My stepson is taking driving lessons and my husband assumed I would be OK with him using my car to supplement the teaching.
His car is automatic and mine is manual which is what my DSS is learning to drive.
I love my stepson dearly but I think he should learn in the learner vehicle with the instructor. I am not overly precious about my car (a small runaround) but I intend to keep it for the next 8-10 years as I don’t drive much and don’t want to have an awkward situation If anything goes wrong with the clutch etc. I can tell that DH is v disappointed but I even get annoyed when my husband who is not used to driving manual any more stalls it or delays changing gear and ends up revving it up too much. I’ve paid for some of my DSS’s driving lessons but I just don’t want him - or anyone else - using my car as a learner vehicle.
Thoughts?

[DontDribbleOnTheCarpet]

I would be annoyed at anyone assuming they could use my car to teach a learner driver. Is your husband offering to pay for the extra insurance? Has he taken out a separate learner driver's insurance policy for his son, so your NCD isn't affected in the event of a claim?

I don't think it's a case of being mean or not, to be honest. It's inconvenient to not have the use of your car, it's annoying that your consent is assumed and if you aren't okay with that then it should be okay for you to say no.

[vanillandhoney]

@Backbackandforth

I’m same as PP - never allowed to undertake lessons in my folk’s car as the additional premium was around 400 odd extra a month. Maybe it’s cheaper now but it’ll still be a jump - maybe use that as a gentler (but entirely as justified) reason?

What?

Surely you mean per year?!

[2155User]

YABU.

I used my parents car to learn to drive prior to my lessons. As a result, I only need 4 hours worth of driving lessons before I took my test as I was already capable/confident.

It saved me hundreds of pounds worth of lessons and I am forever grateful.

[2155User]

YABU.

I used my parents car to learn to drive prior to my lessons. As a result, I only need 4 hours worth of driving lessons before I took my test as I was already capable/confident.

It saved me hundreds of pounds worth of lessons and I am forever grateful.

[Bettysprocker]

I'd have let him. It's only a car.

[Billben]

@Aquamarine1029

I don’t drive much and don’t want to have an awkward situation If anything goes wrong with the clutch etc.

If someone does happen, which it probably won't, why would it be awkward? Your husband would have to pay for the repair.

Unless they have joint finances (like an awful lot of people do). In that case, OP will also end up paying for it.

[Chewbecca]

I’m letting DS practise in my car which is smaller than DH’s. I’m also planning to keep my car for a long time. It will be fine. Are you sure you would do the same for your own DC?

[forrandomposts]

I also think you're being mean. It's completely normal to practice in a family car while you take lessons.

[Starfish1021]

For goodness sakes, it’s a car. Just let them use it. Can’t believe people who suggest your partner buy another car for this purpose. If you don’t use it a lot then surely it’s better to have it run around more.

[hellsbells99]

YABU

[Billben]

I’m with you OP. I don’t even like my own DH driving my little runaround so there is no way in hell I would let a learner drive it.

[Sunnydayshereatlast]

Suggest he has the car and dh gets you a new one...

[WeAllHaveWings]

He will need practice with his dad and I would let them use my car, I will let ds use mine when the time comes.

Or if you are still not comfortable with it they can hire a car for a couple of hours (not sure if this is still happening with covid)

[Paradiseinportugal]

I'm definitely with you on this one op. My car is manual and his are automatic. I hate him driving my car, he's shit and he can't manage the clutch properly. It drives me up the wall.

[ExclamationPerfume]

I think you are being mean.

Our insurance only went up £30 a year to add our daughter on to the policy. @backbackandforth there is no way your insurance cost £400 extra a month.

[Furrydogmum]

I put my son on my insurance when he was 17 - as a learner it isn't that expensive and it was good experience for him. When his girlfriend's mum wouldn't put her on her insurance I put her on mine for the last month before test and she passed 1st time - she really appreciated the extra practice.. My clutch is still fine a couple of years later..

[2020iscancelled]

Am I missing something in that everyone now practices in other people’s cars?

Surely you just learn in the learner vehicle? Why the extra practice in other cars? I appreciate this is helpful but it’s not a necessity at all.

The insurance would be an issue (although they could pay I’m sure) but realistically no, you don’t have to lend your property to anyone at all. It’s not “mean spirited” it’s completely up to you. Some people may not care - you do. Not unreasonable. We’re entitled to be a bit precious over our belongings if we wish.

You’ve also paid for some lessons already. That’s generous imo.

[Chloemol]

Nope, none of us had extra lessons in the family car, driving instructor only. Your car will be different to the car he is learning in, as that’s the car he will be using to take the test he practices in that

Your dh can use the money that he would have paid to put him on your insurance for extra driving lessons

[123456abcd]

YABU, DS is taking lessons on a manual but we are a one car family with an automatic SUV (not ideal I know!). I was a bit hesitant but driving instructor confirmed that driving practice in an automatic was fine as it's the 'road sense' piece that's really important.

[2020iscancelled]

If you can’t afford driving lessons then you can’t afford a car. And you can learn to drive for like £100 for 10 hours, it’s not even expensive any more.

[Fairyliz]

But a driving instructors car has dual controls which I assume yours doesn’t? So no I wouldn’t want him driving my car.
If he had a crash or damages your car you can guarantee that your insurance will skyrocket next year even if you are not involved.

[2155User]

@2020iscancelled

£100 for 10 hours.

Good joke.

[pinkyredrose]

Has his mum or her partner if she has one got a car he can practise in?

[123456abcd]

Confused by those who say they had no practise in a family car? Perhaps I'm out of date but I learnt to drive way back when (1979-80) and I thought/assumed practise outside of lesson was the norm.

[ExclamationPerfume]

@2020iscancelled try more like £25/£30 a lesson minimum.