To ask what you think of Eastern Europeans living in the UK?

[Bananasinpjs7]

I have lived in the UK for almost 10 years which is pretty much a 1/3 of my life. I never thought I’d stay this long but met my partner here and decided to build a career in an industry that we don’t really have in my home country... yet.
I’m trying my best... language wise I think I’m pretty fluent. English is the language I speak 95% of the time.
I try to fit in as much as possible, learn as much as I can about the UK to understand it’s history and culture...
But I feel extremely left out ... I feel people look at me and think ‘she is from eastern eu’ as if it has some sort of stigma. It feels like if you are from somewhere glamorous like France or Scandinavian countries you are much more accepted... I’m so tired of constantly feeling like this

@kavalkada

Ajs88, I'm also Croatian and I must say I agree with your husband. Their life is going to be so much easier with your surname and english name. If I were in his situation, I would do the same.

Thank you for this, is is useful to know.

I think I'd like to give our kids an English first name, Croatian second name, and then double barrel surname. That way they can choose how they want to be identified when they are older. But it might be better to just give them just my surname, in which case I'd probably want to give them his parents names as second names. I think they would understand and be happy with that.

My surname (fathers name) is actually Irish, I'm found of it and have only ever had oh your Irish why do you sound English asked of me. My partner prefers my mums which is quite rare, unusually grand and extremely English sounding, so much so he wants to adopt it. That would delight my mum and totally infuriate my Dad!

Do you have kids in the UK? I'm curious to know if you've had an issues

No, I don't have kids in the UK. I don't live in the UK, but I have friends who moved all over Western Europe, including UK.

Two of my friends married in UK and Germany for British and German men and they both did what your husband wants. Their kids are still small, so time will tell what will happen when they start school.

Unfortunately some friends who moved with their older kids faced a lot of bullying because of their origin. Two moved back home, and one is still in Germany.

In the last few years I have seen lot of people moving to Western Europe, bust most of them returned home. Those who stay are usually childless.

And your husband is right, most of the Croatian immigrants are moving because of the politics and the corruption in the country, not because of the poverty. And all my friends returned home for giving birth and all major medical appointments.

@DrinkFeckArseGirls

randomer “What races are Eastern European? Does it include Polish people?”

No, Poland is a Central European country like Hungary, Czechia, Slovenia, Slovakia, Austria and Germany.

I think you’ll find it does include Poland for the purpose of this and similar discussions about EE immigration.

From a geographical perspective, Poland probably is more central than Eastern Europe, but not with regards to immigration

Is it better to give birth in Croatia?

I ask as I am very concerned about doing so in the UK, so many horror pain relief not being given, not enough staff etc. And then a total lack of post-partum care leaving women weeing themselves!

I've also got the impression that it's easier to get IVF if you need it

What races are Eastern European? The same race as everywhere else in the world, human.

hub.jhu.edu/magazine/2015/summer/germany-japan-reconciliation/

Germany has done a lot of work to acknowledge and rehabilitate itself after the atrocities of WW2. That process hasn't happened yet in former Eastern Bloc countries, perhaps held back by Communism initially but don't know why it hasn't happened since communism ended.

The problem is people who are unable to differentiate between Eastern Europeans. They just say Eastern Europeans en block.
EE is a pretty vast region. So what does EE mean? Polish? Czech? Hungarian? Romanian?
Most Westerners are ignorant of those countries and their different cultures.
I just read a couple of pages ago someone claiming that EE people nod when they mean no, and shake their head when they mean yes. WHAT? NOBODY does this in EE. It only applies to Bulgarians. And Bulgaria is on the Balkan. It is not EE. What baffling ignorance!

As several posters have pointed out, in the U.K., Eastern Europe means those countries in Central and Eastern Europe that joined the EU in 2004 and later.

I'm not sure why you think Westerners, who have no interest in going to Eastern Europe should be knowledgeable about countries they have no interest in visiting? Or do you think Westerners should be more knowledgable about all the countries economic migrants come from? It's a bit rich to arrive in the West and expect us to learn about your home country just because you chose to come and live here.

What races are Eastern European? The same race as everywhere else in the world, human

I asked my question to see what the perception was. I suspect many in Britain would include Poles in the umbrella term " Eastern European" when infact the Poles do not.

randomer

If you RTFT you will see that yes Poland and Czech Republic and all previously communist countries are considered EE.

Many of those ugly economic migrants are for example gay. So bravo for adding to someone's trauma.

You seriously think that LGBT people are not less at risk of "trauma" here than they are in Poland?

I think that we're coming at this from different angles. You think that you should have an automatic right to move to the U.K. and that British people should learn about your culture because you chose to move here. That automatic right ends this year because many British people disagreed with it and voted to stop that automatic right, you may feel bitter about that but there isn't anything you can do about it, it isn't your decision. British people have never been obliged to learn about the cultures of countries they have no intention of visiting, never mind living or working in, why should they? However, if you want to integrate and feel welcome in the U.K., then it would be advisable to learn the language, culture and traditions of the U.K. It would be the same whatever country you chose to move to.

@Alongcameacat, how ignorant. If you read around the subject and have Polish friends, you may discover it is a complex situation with roots in physical geography, religion, history and especially the relatively recent communist influence in Poland.

British people have never been obliged to learn about the cultures of countries they have no intention of visiting, never mind living or working in, why should they?

And Brits wonder why some Europeans are less than friendly and welcoming when they deign to visit their countries. Can't think. . .

randomer You asked what the perception is. I suggest you RTFT. Your questions have already been answered and your points have already been discussed. You won’t like the general consensus though! Poland is being included in the term EE.

*British people have never been obliged to learn about the cultures of countries they have no intention of visiting, never mind living or working in, why should they?

And Brits wonder why some Europeans are less than friendly and welcoming when they deign to visit their countries. Can't think. . .*

Selective reading at its best.

The British learn about all minds of cultures! Three of my children studied ancient history at university -that is Greeks and Romans for a start. We have always had an interest in other cultures in the UK (although the Romans conquered us so I expect we have not entirely positive views about them!)

@KatyChe you actually missed the point.

Btw. I have no deep understanding of Hinduism. So I don't tell hindu people who their are, also don't talk about Hinduism. Few people here had an urge to share their fantasy about not existing world. However they need this fantasy to feel better about themselves. Someone to point the finger at while loudly shouting we are better!

@ajs88

Is it better to give birth in Croatia?

I ask as I am very concerned about doing so in the UK, so many horror pain relief not being given, not enough staff etc. And then a total lack of post-partum care leaving women weeing themselves!

I've also got the impression that it's easier to get IVF if you need it

Well, I don't know what is it like to give birth in UK. I guess it depends on hospital.

I gave birth in our capital in two different hospitals. I had no problem getting pain relief in both of the hospitals, so that was fine. From what I read on Mumsnet there are some differences between Croatian and UK hospitals. You are allowed only one birth partner on birth and some hospitals require you to pass an exam for that. After birth you are in room with two other women and partners are not allowed to stay with you. Visits are one hour every day and they are very strict about that - in a minute, and they allow just one person - you pick who will that be. No pushing MIL's in Croatian hospitals - they're allowed only to see baby through a glass.

You stay in hospital two or three days after normal birth and seven days after c-section.

I had emergency C-section with both of my babies, and I hated doctors waited so much. First time with my little boy 35 hours from the moment my water broke and the second time 11 hours from the moment I came to the hospital. I was "lucky" because I fainted three times during my labor so they did a test that showed my little girl was in stress (I don't know how to write that in English). If they did that test only five minutes later she would be dead or seriously damaged. So I was lucky.

I had amazing midwives and nurses and they were all very sweet and kind. They help with breastfeeding and everything and although we always hear about lack of nurses in hospital I haven't experienced that. They were always by my bed 10 seconds after I rang for them - and I rang a lot.

Considering the fact UK is much richer country then Croatia I'm sure your hospitals and rooms are much better equipped. Our rooms are really basic, room for three with private bathroom and you have to bring your own toilette supplies. No television in rooms. I kind of liked that because in those seven days I was in hospital you create strong bond with women who are there - we all helped each other with babies and everything. Babies can stay with you during the night but you can ask nurses to take them away.

In Croatia after you leave hospital you are refered to your district nurse and they visit for a month as much as you want. My came almost daily to clean my bandages and she was a life saver. Baby has to go to pediatrician one month after birth (if everything is all right with the baby).

My friend is going through IVF at this moment and I know you're allowed three times for three and I haven't heard somebody was denied IVF treatment - but I know only three women who got them.

You can always have a private birth - my friend who had a bad experience with her first child did that - and the price is a little bit less that 3.500 pound for elective c-section and five days in hospital.

I hope I helped.

As far as somebody staying with you in the room, it is possible to pay for a private room in state hospitals and they are much more comfortable - with television, better menu, visitors can stay longer (although I'm not sure they can spend the night) and it costs 100 pounds a day. Waiting lists are long because there are not enough of those rooms, especially now after earthquake.

However they need this fantasy to feel better about themselves. Someone to point the finger at while loudly shouting we are better!

British citizens have more rights in this country than those with settled or pre settled status. You can stamp your feet as much as you like but it won't make any difference.

In fact the British government has a great bargaining chip. Why do you think they gave settled or pre settled status rather than citizenship or permanent residence to EU citizens?

If the EU is being difficult post Brexit, the government can just threaten to cut off benefits for those with settled and pre settled status, leaving those who aren't financially independent with no option to go back to their home countries en mass, causing a problem for certain Eastern European countries.

Yep, still missing the point.
And it is en masse.

KatyChe are you living in lala land. That's not going to happen.

@KatyChe

Many of those ugly economic migrants are for example gay. So bravo for adding to someone's trauma.

You seriously think that LGBT people are not less at risk of "trauma" here than they are in Poland?

I think that we're coming at this from different angles. You think that you should have an automatic right to move to the U.K. and that British people should learn about your culture because you chose to move here. That automatic right ends this year because many British people disagreed with it and voted to stop that automatic right, you may feel bitter about that but there isn't anything you can do about it, it isn't your decision. British people have never been obliged to learn about the cultures of countries they have no intention of visiting, never mind living or working in, why should they? However, if you want to integrate and feel welcome in the U.K., then it would be advisable to learn the language, culture and traditions of the U.K. It would be the same whatever country you chose to move to.

Actually you speak the truth! Quite direct and to the point but I like direct, to the point people.

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@KatyChe tonight, specially for you Brits visiting Poland.

@Alongcameacat, I have read the thread, I have also talked to Polish friends and read round the subject. There are many varied ideas and opinions about this. I neither like nor dislike the consensus, I am just interested.