Going behind my SIL's back?

[UserLibra78]

Long story short my OH and his two sisters were given his late mother's house. One of his sister is keen to sell, the other is thinking of keeping it to rent but is not capable financially. My OH and I are actually thinking of buying another house to rent so that in a couple of years time, our ds will be able to either stay/resell.

I spoke to my dad and he is adamant about not telling them and just deal with the estate agent. I am in two minds about it as my OH and his sisters are close and I hate to put him in the situation where he will feel like he is "betraying them". However if I were to tell them now that I am interested in buying the house, they will 100% turn around and say they have decided not to sell after all.

I am sure if my MIL is still alive she will not hesitate to sell it to me, so that we will keep it in the family. But since she is gone my SIL's, who are both very vocal and domineering, will not hesitate in demanding a higher price from me. The reason why I am keen on the house is that it in in perfect location, very good price to rent and my mil had look after the house. I am sure this house is a good investment and not expected to sell anytime soon should we bought it. We will be using my OH equity to tide over any unexpected shortfalls.

What do you guys think is the best way to approach this? Should I follow my dad and jus lt offer the market price? Or should I let them know I am interested at the risk of losing this house and incur a higher price tag?

Thanks

[UserLibra78]

@Veganforlife

Is this a power thing between you and the sisters
From the sounds of things you could offer double market rate ,and they would not sell to you .
That was their mums house ,they have memories there ,and you will ge able to change the house in any way ,they may not like or want
So that gives you power over them .
It is very clear they do not want you buying the house
For you to push forward with this ,makes you a not very nice person.
You are meddling ,and getting involved where it does not concern you .

If the circumstances change and my sil decided to get the house for herself instead, would it be OK for my OH to refuse the sale?

[AllsortsofAwkward]

So effectively you want to obtain their family's house and place it in within you're extended family to profit from by renting it out. You don't even want to live in it. If you're married surely its joint money to buy out or is that not the case? You already have a rocky relationship. You do come across as you want one over on them why should youre fil processions have any bearing on you that was down to youre dh to ask for anything not you buy items. I think you are pretty callous and need to butt out its bit crass given their mother died.

[Furloughedpissedoff]

When the house goes up for sale, can your Dad bid and then hopefully buy it through the estate agents in his name. And then transfer it into your name after the sale goes through.

[MsVestibule]

If the circumstances change and my sil decided to get the house for herself instead, would it be OK for my OH to refuse the sale? Yes, of course. But it's not the same situation - you've made it very clear that YOU will be buying the house, with the help of your Dad. Apart from the fact that you are married (so he would probably have some claim on the house) he doesn't appear to have anything to do with it.

On the general principle of one sibling buying the other(s) out as opposed to selling to a stranger - I think, unless the siblings have an excellent relationship, I would always recommend selling to a stranger. There's so much emotionally invested in a family home, so I can understand why the siblings who didn't buy it would find it difficult seeing their sibling 'ruling the roost'.

[Andwoooshtheyweregone]

Why would you pay your partner his share in the house? I don’t understand why you don’t try and buy the other two out? Your husband already owns the house (well a share in it)

[Hamsterriffic]

Just be honest OP! We had a family member buy a house in this situation. We got 3 valuations and went with the middle value. Why would they want more from you? Doesn’t make sense! Much less hassle to sell to family surely?

[Winter2020]

I'd still like to know what is special about this house as a rental compared to the house next door/over the road or down the street. Why is it worth the aggro? I could understand it more if you wanted to make it your family home but I can't see the need for a sentimental rental. If anything that is more problematic than a non sentimental one.

[1Morewineplease]

It sounds like you REALLY want this property. From what I’ve read, and sorry , it is a bit confusing, you feel that the property ought to be sold to you . You say that it’s all to do with ‘memories’ but it looks like you can’t afford it. Yet you can with your dad’s money.
So is this a genuine offer to buy or is it a way of getting a property more cheaply, ie no commission etc.. ? You said , I think, that you’d rent it out.
Therefore creating a further income . So not just to keep it in the family. Just to keep it in yours’

[1Morewineplease]

I’d step back and hand the reins over to your partner.

[jakscrakers]

I am shocked at some many negative responses to the OP, yes some SIL's do not like DB's wives and this causes uproar, but surely the OP is asking about buying the house from them all, to keep in the family and also for her own child in later life.

What is so wrong about this, she is aware the SIL's will not be happy with this, not wanting to sell it to her, no matter how much she paid. OP is then looking for an icebreaker in how to go about this, she is asking for help and instead the majority berates her, suggesting she is trying to get one over on them, how or why I cannot fathom.
,
for me I would let them get an estate agent round and come to some selling price and then they can decide when the money is viable, then make the offer, suggesting they do not need to pay EA fees and the other costs that this could occur. With any luck the thought of all that money would help, and if not let them put it on the market and have your dad buy it in his name and then sign it over to you.

[patas]

I have to say the whole thing is so fishy.
If you ever want to have a better relationship with your sister in laws than walk away.

You are coming across as over-bearing and entitled.

[ProudMarys]

I think all you can do is offer to buy it at the price they ask (within reason) and say it will stay in the family at least of we buy it. If they don't wish to sell to you for personal reasons there is not alot you can do (seems silly but family relationships can be) all you can do is let that one go. But equally if they want to buy it they should know your OH can turn around and refuse to sell to them also.

[UserLibra78]

@jakscrakers

I am shocked at some many negative responses to the OP, yes some SIL's do not like DB's wives and this causes uproar, but surely the OP is asking about buying the house from them all, to keep in the family and also for her own child in later life.

What is so wrong about this, she is aware the SIL's will not be happy with this, not wanting to sell it to her, no matter how much she paid. OP is then looking for an icebreaker in how to go about this, she is asking for help and instead the majority berates her, suggesting she is trying to get one over on them, how or why I cannot fathom.
,
for me I would let them get an estate agent round and come to some selling price and then they can decide when the money is viable, then make the offer, suggesting they do not need to pay EA fees and the other costs that this could occur. With any luck the thought of all that money would help, and if not let them put it on the market and have your dad buy it in his name and then sign it over to you.

Thank you so much for your post. I have No idea as well why there is so much anger over I, as the SIL buying the house.

Just to clear the confusion, as per my first post, one of them wants to sell but the other do not. The one that refused to sell is keen to keep it for rent, just as what I intent to do, and pass it along to her son, which is what I intend to do too. Why is this dishonest if is my husband and I who are doing it, but is OK if is sil? If anything my son grow up in the house while hers do not.

this house will belongs to my husband and myself, my dad has nothing to do with it except giving me the money to buy. He has been on at me to kick start an investment, and there is nothing better than buying an existing family house for rent, instead of selling it for a quick buck, which is what my SILs intend to do.

I always though that a husband and wife worked as a team. Whatever my dad gave me it always been assumed that it will belongs to my husband and myself. He will get his share of the money, and we will reroute that money into updating the house. The house will be ours for godsake.

If there's no problem with them (including my OH) selling the house to a stranger, why is it not OK to sell it to me with the Same price? They will not be revisiting the house so what do they care what happen to the house? Everybody will get their share of profit so why the wife bashing?

Most of not all of the posters are asking me to mind my own business, stop sticking my oar in where it does not belong. My OH is over the moon with the possibility of buying this house. I just texted him are we sure we going to go ahead he just replied 100%. So please this is not a dirty and greedy character most of your posters are trying to portray me as.

Rant over still thank you guys for giving me lots to think about.

[UserLibra78]

@patas

I have to say the whole thing is so fishy.
If you ever want to have a better relationship with your sister in laws than walk away.

You are coming across as over-bearing and entitled.

Which part is fishy?

Me as the wife of the brother buying the pil's house? Me as the buyer intend to buy the house for the market price? Or me in general for using the word behind their back?

[AllsortsofAwkward]

The key is in the language me not us not me and dh me.

[Winter2020]

26jakscrakers

".... if not let them put it on the market and have your dad buy it in his name and then sign it over to you."

and you can't imagine why that would seem sly or underhand, or cause a rift? Really?

[UserLibra78]

Just for the record I have not spoken to them about the house. My OH has and he is the one broach the subject about the potential of buying the house with me.

The notion about them possibly raising the price or refuse to sell has stem from previous encounters and conversations. At the end of the day if they decided to keep it it will be good, which is the best option ( just as I said in the previous post).

If they do decide to sell that's when I will raise the offer at buying the house with market value. My dad has suggested to just go through the estate agent without informing them of the decision, which I had mentioned I do not feel comfortable with. There is a huge possibility of them raising the asking price if I want to buy it from them. I am only willing to offer what the other buyer want to buy, not more.

There is no shady business here just the emotional entanglement that I was afraid will be affecting my OH should my SILs refuse. Also guys please stop with the name calling, I. E. Entitled overbearing dishonest etc is really depressing.

[Winter2020]

It is fine to sell the house to you including at 1% of market value - the key is if the choose to (or not).

[UserLibra78]

@Winter2020

It is fine to sell the house to you including at 1% of market value - the key is if the choose to (or not).

I do not expect any special price reduction or treatmen I just want it to go through the same motion as another buyer. In fact I positively refuse as my OH has suggested the same. I do not want them to comment on the possibility of selling it cheap to me in the future. I had made it clear to my husband that should I ( or we/Libra family) decide to buy it will be at the market value.

[Kasparovski]

I just don’t know how this anonymous purchase could possibly work in practise OP? I’m selling a house right now and the names are littered all over the solicitors paperwork and we’ve not even exchanged yet! I 100% would want to know who I was selling my house to actually.

[UserLibra78]

@Kasparovski

I just don’t know how this anonymous purchase could possibly work in practise OP? I’m selling a house right now and the names are littered all over the solicitors paperwork and we’ve not even exchanged yet! I 100% would want to know who I was selling my house to actually.

Hi no worries we have decided to go ahead by telling them our intention to buy. Thanks

[ohdeardaddyibrokeitagain]

Form a company with your Dad, UserLibra78&Dad LTD, for example. Buy it in the company name.
If you buy it in your Dad's name (assume they'd recognise it anyway) and try to change the title later you may we'll incur another lot of stamp duty. And you've factored in the extra 3% stamp duty as a second/investment property right?

[Hanab]

In the end if they are selling you can buy it any which way as long as its legal🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’ t understand the fuss .. you are not doing them down .. they will be the sellers you will be the buyer .. is that not how things work?

[UserLibra78]

@Hanab

In the end if they are selling you can buy it any which way as long as its legal🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’ t understand the fuss .. you are not doing them down .. they will be the sellers you will be the buyer .. is that not how things work?

I would have thought so but apparently not. I as the brother's wife will be condemned as the conniving backstabbing profiteer

[UserLibra78]

@ohdeardaddyibrokeitagain

Form a company with your Dad, UserLibra78&Dad LTD, for example. Buy it in the company name.
If you buy it in your Dad's name (assume they'd recognise it anyway) and try to change the title later you may we'll incur another lot of stamp duty. And you've factored in the extra 3% stamp duty as a second/investment property right?

Hi thanks for the suggestion I do not think we can and want to keep it secretive from them, even though after the house is sold they have no reason to even visit the area again.

Yes I have factored in the 3% + reno fee. Theres rotten wood under the bath that need to get sorted out before it can be rented/sold.