To feel like the only person following the f***ing rules??!!

[Stressingismyhobby]

I know the social distancing rules are contradictory, confusing and mostly bollocks but I don't think I'm above them and follow them as closely as possible.

But hardly anyone else I know does. I've just seen a picture of a friend wearing a mask in a taxi...to go to her friend's house with a load of other friends. All pictured together huddled on the sofa.

A family member keeps posting pics on FB with her kids gathered with all their friends.

And I've been invited to a party in a week's time at someone's house with lots of other people.

Videos of kids running to hug both their grandparents (my kids would love to do that!)

We met with some friends outside a week or two ago who also (without us knowing) invited other people so our group was bigger than 6.

I had to say no to giving someone a lift in my car the other day.

And so it goes on.

I feel like I'm the boring, goody two shoes who's always having to decline invites or say things like "I'm not really sure we're supposed to do that yet" etc only to be met with sighs or rolled eyes. I'm constantly being put in situations that make me feel uncomfortable. I'm made to feel like the bloody fun police who is making live difficult for everyone!

Anybody else feel like this???

Wow some delights on this thread isn’t there?!

People could live some vague resemblance of normality if they were sensible about it. But nah we don’t do that in the U.K. do we?

It’s evident the virus won’t go away and we need to balance the economy but make safe judgements. It isn’t going away look at countries where it is spiking up again. In fact my local area cases are rising after dropping for months. People are sick of it. Me too, most of my hobbies and interests have gone.

Maybe stay a little further apart from friends, less people in your house or at other people’s houses. Don’t hug everyone cos you’ve had a few. As lockdown has shown and actually some of the comments on this thread people are selfish and dont want to look at the bigger picture.

The NHS backlash really didn’t take long did it? I know no one I work with asked for freebies or asked to be clapped and labelled heroes. We just went to work like we normally do. Only difference is with a Worldwide pandemic with a virus which was hard to treat and has killed thousands in a few months...that no one signed up to work with The stress that has induced has been massive but you know we signed up to that apparently. The thought of COVID with an already crazy busy Autumn Winter season scares me and is already giving me anxiety.

After spending weeks stuck at home, "doing as I was told" DH and I decided to create a "family bubble" this consists of:
DH, me, 6 month DD
MIL & FIL (not in the vulnerable category)
BIL, SIL & 3 kids (7, 3, 3)

We decided it was better for all of our mental health as for the children. My oldest nephew is autistic and hugely struggled with the whole of lockdown (wanting to die, hating himself, hating everyone) my DD is only just now happy sitting on MIL's knee after 3 weeks of our bubble, because she has spent half of her life at home with me and DH.

Sometimes people have to think for themselves, understand and acknowledge the risks and understand that the benefits outweigh the risks.

I will also point out that SIL2 has not joined our bubble as she is "sticking to the rules" and that is her choice. She chooses not to visit us at all, but has MIL doing her online shopping for her and collecting it from MIL's house. And her dog has been walked by a dog walker multiple times throughout lockdown. So while I find it odd that she picks and chooses what parts of the rules to adhere to, it's her choice to make

Bloody hell, 4 months in and people are still talking about "the rules".

Isn't there more important things to be doing, like getting on with life.

I agree OP, I'm back at work following the guidelines there and also at home. We are still seeing people but at a safe distance. It is possible to return to a kind of normal while following the guidelines. But I'm amazed by how few people I see following guidance.

Guidelines" and "advice" don't work in a crisis- we needed actual rules and laws that are not open to interpretation

They did work. We locked down to protect the nhs, it was hugely successful and achieved its aim, we are not seeing an increase in deaths and hospital admissions now either that the guidelines have been relaxed..

What exactly do you now need a law for?

Bloody hell, 4 months in and people are still talking about "the rules".
It's a pandemic, they tend to last years. Four months isn't very long.

The op was not rude @Destroyedpeople, you need to chill out!

I’m following them to the extent that I’m an introvert and for as long as possible will not be organising social gatherings!
I am also actually worried about catching it but because I work in a school, I’m a little more likely to catch it anyway as opposed to DH who really hasn’t set foot out of our village more than once a week since March!

Well I still wouldn't catch a taxi or go on the bus so when I get my car serviced soon I will have to hang around. It freaks me too much.

Yes I need to chill out. We all do.
OP's method of discussion is proper iffy though.
'Oh you don't agree with me therefore you must have broken lockdown all this time'...
This is no way to discuss things with people is it?

Re the point comparing ignoring government advice about social distancing with drink driving... you may be highlighting the problem wonderfully here. OP you think the two are comparable. Others may think something like ignoring the five-a-day or alcohol intake advice is a better comparison. (I’m talking in terms of severity; I do understand the “but you’re hurting others with your actions!” argument but I don’t agree with it.)

So I think: YABU for caring about what other people are doing; YANBU that people are making you feel guilty or putting you in situations you are not yet comfortable with.

OP, the stats are that most people are still following most of the guidance most of the time. Also if you look at attitude surveys, it shows that e.g. 60% of people feel a bit uncomfortable reading on a restaurant.

There will be a % of people who want there to be no social distancing and no rules at all. We just need to accept them. They are at one end of a spectrum of responses that was expected. At the other end is people who are very anxious. In the middle is likely to be the biggest %.

Also people will keep an eye on the cases level, and if it starts to rise people will, I expect, become more cautious.

I guess if the grandchildren hugging the grandparents is allowed as we can go in each other’s houses one family at a time?

The main thing that is advised still not to do is meeting more than 2 households inside your home.

Yet last night I went out for a meal in a pub and including my table, there were 6 tables in our relatively small part of the dining area, and all of them were full. There were also four members of staff based in our eating area.

Admittedly the tables were probably 1m apart from each other but I was still in an indoor venue, in close proximity with approximately 25 unknown people for two hours.

It is the absurdity of this being ok, whilst being told that I can’t go and sit in a room with my sister if my mom is already in there with her, that makes compliance with the guidelines very frustrating.

There’s just very little sense to it.

@Babs709 I think that is a very interesting way to look at it, is it more like drink driving or exceeding recommended drinking levels?

My feeling is this, in cultural terms, is very new for the UK.

What is socially acceptable now may become socially unacceptable in future. Things change, society changes, norms change. I don't think anyone knows where this virus is going and what the social impacts might be.

@burritofan

Bloody hell, 4 months in and people are still talking about "the rules". It's a pandemic, they tend to last years. Four months isn't very long.

I wasn't talking about the duration of the pandemic, I was talking about being 4 months in to this and people still getting wound up that others aren't following the rules.

Surely it's a given that from the beginning of this, there would always be people that won't, it's human nature.

It surprises me that people will get so angry over it, surely this is to be expected and shouldn't come as a surprise to them.

"Guidelines" and "advice" don't work in a crisis- we needed actual rules and laws that are not open to interpretation.

If only we didn't have all this pesky democracy eh? Where's a good old dictator when you want one?

People are doing all sorts of different things now, many of which, whilst no longer against 'rules, won't feel safe to everyone. I think you need to hold your nerve and stick to what you're comfortable with, as hard as that will be at times. Maybe try not to worry, however, about things that other people are doing (e.g. photos and vids on FB) that don't directly affect you.

@magesticallyawkward All democracies have laws. I disagree with plenty of the ones we have!

I am sensible about it all and by no means go around condemning people for rule breachs but am confused about the 'guidance'. Husband and I went to a restaurant, then bar last night and they did all the right things on the surface (took our names, spaced out tables etc) but then groups of up to 10 women or men all crammed around the same table (not from the same household). All just seems so crazy and arbitary

@majesticallyawkward

"Guidelines" and "advice" don't work in a crisis- we needed actual rules and laws that are not open to interpretation.

If only we didn't have all this pesky democracy eh? Where's a good old dictator when you want one?

Matt Hancock tried the dictator angle with "this advice is not a request, it's an instruction!".

He was just laughed at. He came over as more "annoying head boy" than dictator, bless him.

You would hate me OP!

Most of the 'rules' are guidelines not written in law and throw away the keys type rules.

I am, and have been from the start, more worried about the long term economic effects than COVID itself.

Others think being safe 'at all costs' is the right way. I don't as nothing is safe and life is risky having seen how life is precarious pre Covid.

I work in a primary school and am following all the rules too. I’m trying to keep the children and my colleagues safe. And of course my family.

Only on Mumsnet would that get slated. In real life people appear (outwardly at least) grateful.

I also get massively disheartened when I see friends and neighbours partying and sharing lifts etc because we are trying sooooo hard - and it’s far from easy.

It's all going in the right direction though isn't it?

R still below one

Deaths declining

Cases declining

No spikes from Cornish beach people, McDonald's eaters, primark shoppers, BLM rallies, Bournemouth beach people or VE Day! Now able to identify hot spots like Leicester and deal appropriately.

So obviously the rules or the risk assessments etc are working.

Good to see the same people on every single CV thread, trotting out the same doom and gloom!