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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people don’t seem to know about intuitive eating?

177 replies

sunshineonmywindow20 · 10/07/2020 08:11

I keep reading the plentiful diet/weight loss threads on Mumsnet - a range of approaches come up - low carb, fasting, calorie counting, WW, slimming world etc

But no one ever mentions intuitive eating, and I wonder why? I’ve been on numerous diets and for me it’s BY FAR the best way I’ve found to reconnect with my body, improve my relationship with food and -yes - lose weight.

I guess it isn’t always explicitly directed/marketed as a diet/weight loss tool, but for me that’s why it’s so good! It’s about enjoying food more (!) and moving towards your natural set weight, which might not be skinny, but for many people will mean they lose weight by eating in tune with their bodies (eating when hungry, eating slowly/mindfully, stopping when full).

But there are no banned foods, no rules beyond the above, it’s a happy process that encourages self acceptance and a healthy, life long change. Books wise there is a wide range - Susie Orbach, Paul McKenna, Beyond Chocolate, many more.

Diets are scientifically proven not to work long term and trap people into a cycle of misery... AIBU to recommend this to others looking to change their relationship with food? I promise I am not connected to it commercially or otherwise in any way Grin

OP posts:
Porcupineinwaiting · 10/07/2020 12:53

@slightlyoutting you can do both those things ad still gain weight, believe me.

goose1964 · 10/07/2020 13:00

In not sure what you mean by intuitive eating. My dietician introduced me to mindful eating which basically being aware if you're actually hungry and if so concentrate on thefoodyou are eating, or if you are mouth hungry, or you're no actually hungry but you feel like eating anyway. That is when you need to find an alternative to eating, I find making a hot drink is enough for the urge to eat disappears.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 10/07/2020 13:15

LadyPriggsbottom, indeed and it makes me very suspicious. Posters who are so peaceful and happy with their weight/body and eating styles wouldn't naturally find their home on every weight loss thread, surely?

People who speak authoritatively about weight and diets can do so only for themselves and their own situation. There are +/- 100 different reasons and circumstances that affect other people.

Macncheeseballs · 10/07/2020 13:24

Well I suppose you could say it's the same as the pile on you get when pps querie their consumption of alcohol , so many people come on saying I never drink and nor should you! And are you really saying that I, as a slim person, let's not say naturally slim, but as a slim person who has been interested in health and fitness all her life, is not allowed to comment upon a weight loss thread?!

LadyPrigsbottom · 10/07/2020 13:29

@Macncheeseballs

Well I suppose you could say it's the same as the pile on you get when pps querie their consumption of alcohol , so many people come on saying I never drink and nor should you! And are you really saying that I, as a slim person, let's not say naturally slim, but as a slim person who has been interested in health and fitness all her life, is not allowed to comment upon a weight loss thread?!
That's not at all what I said Smile.
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 10/07/2020 13:31

I've not seen that, Macncheeseballs, I don't drink (for example) I don't tell others that they shouldn't because what's it to do with me?

Weight is such an emotive issue for women that it would take somebody with staggering lack of awareness to 'pile in' and judge about what other women are doing.

Macncheeseballs · 10/07/2020 13:32

Ladyprigsbottom - think I must have misinterpreted the bit where you said I'm 'ready to tell fat people what's what' because that is not what I intended in saying people can change
Smile

LadyPrigsbottom · 10/07/2020 13:35

And if the same posters came on, time and time again, to alcohol problem threads and posted judgementally that, "I've never had a problem with alcohol, ever. So take a hard look at yourself missy", I would also find that questionable @Macncheeseballs.

There is something in some people, that makes them actively dislike the overweight and seek them out to berate them. If I was one of those people, I would be examining very carefully why that might be.

LadyPrigsbottom · 10/07/2020 13:38

@Macncheeseballs

Ladyprigsbottom - think I must have misinterpreted the bit where you said I'm 'ready to tell fat people what's what' because that is not what I intended in saying people can change Smile
Well, thanks for clarifying, but that really wasn't the post I meant. It is you persistently showing up on threads, even if on at least one occasion, they are unrelated to weight loss. Then somehow POOF, you're there and it's a weight loss thread. It's like magic and I wonder why that is. But tbh, it really isn't my business and I do agree with the you can change post. I just wonder what experience of weight problems you have had, first hand or maybe professionally?
lazylinguist · 10/07/2020 13:44

I feel bad as I thought this was common sense. Eat when you’re hungry and don’t want you’re not.When you’re hungry put good things in your body.

Why do you feel bad? Obviously it's common sense - everybody knows this. But knowing and doing are not the same thing. Human beings do all kinds of things that aren't healthy or common sense, for a wide variety of complex reasons.

Again- if it were easy to eat healthily, only according to hunger, everyone would do it (by nature, without needing to read a book about it).

Macncheeseballs · 10/07/2020 13:58

Ladyprigsbottom, I would say we were both 'showing up persistently' on certain threads where you persistently single me out, I may have to run away and keep quiet

LadyPrigsbottom · 10/07/2020 14:06

@Macncheeseballs

Well, I have a weight problem at the moment, so that is why I am sometimes on weight loss threads. I also had one as a teenager, so it is something I am all too familiar with. I also take an interest in the history of fat phobia from an academic perspective.

I am sorry you think I'm singling you out, but I was just surprised to see your post on here, as we have had a few conversations about weight on other threads. So it was surprising to me, having already discussed weight issues with you, to see you say you have never had to think too much about weight, but just eat what you like and stay slim. Because then how do you have so much authority when you talk about what fat people "should" do?

But, I certainly don't want you to feel picked on, so I won't engage with you again if you prefer?

I did mention you on another thread, because literally as soon as I posted, you contradicted me, on a different subject and I found it honestly just a bit strange, (but in an amusing, rather than a suspicious way), that two people could have such opposing views and I wondered "out loud" what led you to those conclusions.

If you'd rather I didnt engage with you again though, that is not a problem though. I rather enjoyed some of our chats, but I don't want you to feel attacked in any way.

MiddlesexGirl · 10/07/2020 14:15

Well I've read six pages now and am no nearer knowing what intuitive eating actually means.
If it means not eating once you're full that doesn't work. I won't lose weight like that. However if I stop eating when I'm no longer hungry then that turns into a self perpetuating cycle as my stomach gets used to being less full and it takes less for me to stop being hungry.
Ditto skipping breakfast .... my stomach tolerates that very well and now doesn't get hungry much until around 4pm.
So habits which I actively have to discipline my self do become intuitive after a while but they certainly don't start off that way.
And I have to exercise a lot of self discipline around certain staple foods which are always around the house. That's not intuitive ignoring their siren call!
I do get evening munchies sometimes if I haven't got the evening meal amount right. If I want to avoid succumbing to them I have to get up and do something- either exercise or something that keeps my hands occupied.

Macncheeseballs · 10/07/2020 14:16

The title 'intuitive eating' intrigued me as I didnt know what it was, hence I entered this thread! The first time we disagreed was about camping.....

LadyPrigsbottom · 10/07/2020 14:18

It was @Macncheeseballs! Ah bloody camping Wink.

MillyDilly · 10/07/2020 14:18

Wouldn’t work for me. I intuitively want to eat everything in sight.

Beautiful3 · 10/07/2020 14:19

It sounds great but didn't work for me. If I listen to my body, I'd be huge. Also doesnt work for people who are addicted to sugar. Counting calories really reins it in for me so I choose protein over carbs & sugar. Also my husband works shifts, this means I have to cook and eat dinner when it fits around him. I like sitting at the table and eating together. I wouldnt want us all eating different things at different times, separately. Also my children need routine, that means set meal times. I think it only works if you live alone, and aren't addicted to carbs & sugar.

puzzledpiece · 10/07/2020 14:32

I intuitively want a cup cake or two at the moment, plus a non skinny latte.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 10/07/2020 14:41

I do have the opportunity to eat like this, I WFH and would love to be able to do it. I read about it and I did try but my brain doesn't seem to do it.
I had an eating disorder when I was younger and sometimes when I'm stressed or feeling down it comes back. I also very greedy and can't stop myself eating sometimes. I'm not over weight, but could definitely do with losing at least a stone and a half.

lljkk · 10/07/2020 15:28

IE sounds like what I do, but I have simpler ideas:

*try to eat a lot of veg & fruit, and in preference to most other things
*try to only eat when hungry & stop when not sure if still hungry

I think that's about the sum total. I can't get my head around so many other principles.

Food doesn't taste good if you aren't hungry. If you love your food, you want to wait until you're hungry so that the food reliably tastes fantastic.

Pikachubaby · 10/07/2020 15:34

The intuitive eating things has always puzzled me

It sounds like intuitive breathing

I mean, it’s just the default setting of humans, surely? Eat what you want when you want it?

Personally I find overeating an unpleasant experience (tummy ache, bloating, horrible “full” feeling) so not sure if it’s as easy for those who can override their fullness signals

But intuitive eating is just common sense, surely

LadyPrigsbottom · 10/07/2020 15:39

I mean, it’s just the default setting of humans, surely? Eat what you want when you want it?

I'm not sure this is true^^. We are designed to overeat I think, in times of plenty, because, our bodies think we are still at risk of famine. So we are designed to build up our reserves while we can. This is my understanding anyway, but I'm no scientist (understatement) Grin.

I think you can train yourself to stop at a certain point. I'm doing a thing at the moment, where I only eat three plates of (proper) food a day. Nothing in between. That is definitely helping me and my snack habit, which is my downfall.

LadyPrigsbottom · 10/07/2020 15:40

Sorry and the theory goes that you train yourself not to expect food when you don't have a plate of food in front of you. So far, I have found it makes more sense than IE for me.

Idontlikewednesdays · 10/07/2020 16:06

You make it sound so simple. I wish it was that simple. I don’t think you can intuitively eat if you’re an emotional eater. I think the reasons why people are overweight are far more complicated than just that they eat too much. I totally agree that diets aren’t sustainable long term.

wentawaycameback · 10/07/2020 16:13

The OP recommended Susie Orbach (Fat is a Feminist issue). If you fancy a biscuit - just eat one, if you want a piece of chocolate cake - eat one slice - enjoy it, don't feel guilty. Enjoy food, trust your instincts don't feel guilt, shame etc. Which I suspect is how a lot of naturally slim people eat. However for a lot of people this is much more complex and very difficult to achieve. It is hard not to recommend IE and not sound smug.