To wonder why people don’t seem to know about intuitive eating?

[sunshineonmywindow20]

I keep reading the plentiful diet/weight loss threads on Mumsnet - a range of approaches come up - low carb, fasting, calorie counting, WW, slimming world etc

But no one ever mentions intuitive eating, and I wonder why? I’ve been on numerous diets and for me it’s BY FAR the best way I’ve found to reconnect with my body, improve my relationship with food and -yes - lose weight.

I guess it isn’t always explicitly directed/marketed as a diet/weight loss tool, but for me that’s why it’s so good! It’s about enjoying food more (!) and moving towards your natural set weight, which might not be skinny, but for many people will mean they lose weight by eating in tune with their bodies (eating when hungry, eating slowly/mindfully, stopping when full).

But there are no banned foods, no rules beyond the above, it’s a happy process that encourages self acceptance and a healthy, life long change. Books wise there is a wide range - Susie Orbach, Paul McKenna, Beyond Chocolate, many more.

Diets are scientifically proven not to work long term and trap people into a cycle of misery... AIBU to recommend this to others looking to change their relationship with food? I promise I am not connected to it commercially or otherwise in any way

[quote sunshineonmywindow20]@vanillandhoney - there is that convenience/timing factor which I have found hard at times. Eg last night I wasn’t hungry at family meal time so I just had a drink (a G&T!) and sat with them. Or I sometimes carry oat cakes or something around in case I get hungry.

I also interpret ‘eat whatever your body is asking for’ as ‘within the parameters of what I have available’ otherwise it would be way too expensive![/quote]
Wow. You’re brave. Your kids will be telling their friends and teachers that Mummy doesn’t eat at dinner, she just sits and drinks gin.

It’s too simple (which doesn’t, unfortunately, make it easy)

It’s not extreme enough - we are driven to make drastic dietary change like low carb/high fat, meal replacement shakes, intermittent fasting. Eating intuitively is quite boring by comparison on a daily even though the longer term transformative effects (physical and emotional) are anything but.

It takes a lot of work around behaviours and beliefs often only very indirectly linked to eating to build sufficient trust in ourselves

We’re so steeped in conflicting and contradictory bullshit about food and weight that many people genuinely don’t know how best to manage it

It takes ages, we want to be transformed within weeks or months when realistically it can take two or three years or more to really break unwanted patterns of behaviour - it’s hard to keep going without early dramatic results, people talk often of needing to ‘kick start’ their weight loss with some absurd method or other. Why?

Unrealistic goals as someone already mentioned, I don’t think yo yo dieting could exist without them.

@vanillandhoney - I do take that point - I think it is hard to fit around rushed work conditions - one recommendation I’ve seen in the books etc is to eat something small, eg an oat cake or banana or whatever you want - to stop yourself getting too ravenous. But I accept that not all jobs would even allow that. I’m not sure that’s a reason to dismiss the whole thing though - surely diets are also hard to fit around some jobs, and make you feel awful? It seems like it could be adapted to fit different lifestyles, but I accept the way it’s presented it does sound like a pretty privileged way to eat, especially the stuff about eating whatever you fancy (which I adapt to what is available).

@ArgumentativeAardvaark I don’t think the kids were aware of what I was drinking tbh, they didn’t really pay attention to me - this is something I’ve learnt actually - other people care a lot less than you might think about what you eat!

Intuitive eating can work for some but it doesn't work for my food issues. I've had to cut out types of food that I am addicted to and it has been helpful to see my response to those foods as an addiction issue which is the opposite of intuitive eating. If you say to me "eat what you're hungry for, eat slowly, think about your food and stop when you're full", I'll head straight to the biscuit tin or cake box and eat until I'm stuffed because once I start those foods I just cannot stop and it is nothing to do with physical hunger even though it feels like it is to me.

Other than that I eat what I like. So I guess you could say I eat intuitively within a range of foods that is slightly limited but that is not what people mean when they talk about intuitive eating really.

Agree that learning to actually listen to your body is the best thing!

I had never heard of the 'sigh' your tummy makes when you are eating and it is getting full and that's time to stop. However for some reason I hear it and keep going - doh!

It isn't an easy thing to listen to your body as we all seem to have been programmed to eat at set times, but if you can then I think it is really sensible.

I have never said to my daughter to finish her plate but rather stop before you feel full, chew slowly, take your time between mouthfuls and drink lots of water. I just wish I could do the same

I have no idea what intuitive eating is.
It sounds like I can eat whatever I want but clearly that won't work!
For the pp who says they have to eat breakfast as they don't get another opportunity to eat until lunch - I was like this until I discovered that actually I'm less hungry between 'breakfast' and lunch if I don't eat anything.
And quite often now I'm not even thinking about food until around 4pm.
That to me is kind of intuitive eating. But just about everywhere promotes breakfast as the most important meal of the day.

I’ve learned to eat more intuitively through calorie counting and exercising. I’ve learned that my body performs better and has more energy depending on how I fuel it and I now usually crave the foods that fuel it well.

But when I’m tired, my body wants sugar and fat. Sometimes I give in to the urge to eat it, but I know that the more of it I have, the more of it I crave. I can’t follow my intuition blindly, I need to follow my knowledge of nutrition.

I'm afraid intuitive eating is for the privileged
Quite an exageration... we can all make changes to our diet even taking into account shift work, family meals, etc All night shift workers don't eat petrol station sausage rolls or similar Most people can eat during a (day or night) shift,it doesn't have to be as grim as you make it sound like.

OP I agree with you. I think the key is to stop using food for comfort or when bored and be mindful of your hunger.

I don't necessarily think it is a privileged way to eat...but I do think the marketing and some of the books do lean that way.

Kelsey Miller when she wrote about her IE journey was always banging on about her office in Manhattan and choosing exactly what she wanted to order from the takeaways. Skip to scene of a mum without much money, no help with childcare and fairly bare cupboards and the whole "if you don't love it, don't eat it" phrase in the IE original book, by Evelyn Tribole, seems bonkers. Oh but I don't LOVE this tin of soup... best not eat it then. I'll order sushi from that amazing sushi bar in downtown Manhattan...oh wait.

Also, many of the case studies are like, "Fran is a successful business woman in New York, but she can't stop bingeing", or "Lucy is the wife of a multimillionaire banker, but she can't stop grazing on unhealthy foods". I think it is aimed at the wealthy really.

I think practising IE by eating as much as you like, but also making do with what you have, not wasting food etc is all still possible without tones of money.

However, I do think the concept and much of the literature is aimed at the privileged. The same privileged who can afford to do specialist diets too I imagine, and were already spending money on raw vegan cheese cakes and organic mung beans. The concept should be cheap - free even! Eat what you want and stop eating when you're full. Shouldn't cost a penny. But I do think quite a lot of people are making money out of this. That's not to say it's wrong, but I just would be wary of anyone selling snake oil concepts.

One or two of the IE type books I read I found very flawed actually, so while i do think the simple idea is a good one, there are some issues with it when it becomes a very specific science where you can only achieve the holy grail if you pay out a lot of money for it.

Carter - sounds like you have become addicted to the additives. This is partly why intuitive eating isn't easy for many as you need time to "detox" these out of your system. Sometimes it can be just a week but it is behavioural change that, as pp have said, isn't immediate and takes work. You sound like you are doing this by "banning" foods and eventually they won't taste as good as you remember them because your body won't crave the rubbish in them any more. Keep going!

It's a bit like stopping smoking. If you give up and have one it tastes horrible but if you keep smoking "through" that you don't notice any more. My worst food to do this with is noodles. Low in fat but bad for keeping sugary/salty addiction going and so quick!

TW ED...

In theory its great, but a proper lifestyle change takes time. I have bulimia so my minds wants to binge/purge or exercise until I faint. I was taught to empty my plate, given big portions for a child and then I was taught that being overweight is bad when they realised that they were headed for an early grave.

@Goatinthegarden

I’ve learned to eat more intuitively through calorie counting and exercising. I’ve learned that my body performs better and has more energy depending on how I fuel it and I now usually crave the foods that fuel it well.

But when I’m tired, my body wants sugar and fat. Sometimes I give in to the urge to eat it, but I know that the more of it I have, the more of it I crave. I can’t follow my intuition blindly, I need to follow my knowledge of nutrition.

Yes! This. We are so detached from the biological reality of creating a sustainable calorie deficit for long term lasting weight loss. It takes time to learn this, the only way is by actually doing it. Nobody needs to buy any books about intuitive eating in order to repair their eating habits and reach a healthy weight but everyone (who wants to lose or gain weight) needs to know what they’re putting into their mouths, and to track it somehow.

I'm slim and by the sounds of it follow an intuitive eating lifestyle.

I have recently had a baby and am bf so my hunger is far increased at the moment. But I'm not worried. I think I need the extra food and weight at the moment. Though I look forward to when my body has calmed and I can go back to my natural eating style.

I didn't know there was a name for this way of eating but I always wondered why people didn't just listen to their tummies instead of strict dieting. It seems simple to me, how to lose weight. But I guess for some its mental health association with food.

I intuitively want to eat sugar and maybe a salad once every six months. That was fine while I was a teenager and could eat cake three times a day and still look great but my metabolism can’t cope with my sugar addiction. It’s easier for me to just cut sugar and other crap from my diet in order maintain a healthy weight than to try to somehow realign my food cravings to match my current needs.

Eat what you want and stop eating when you're full.

The problem is that if everyone could do that, no one would be fat. Your concept of 'full' becomes blurred or out of synch. It's common to overeat but only feel bloated and unpleasantly full after you have stopped.

I agree that these concepts work better for people with time and money. If you've been working all day, you want something quick and filling - not something you have to stand around in the kitchen preparing. It's hard to keep stocked up on fresh vegetables etc. when you are working full-time.

@LadyPrigsbottom agree! Haven’t read that book but some of what Susie Orbach writes sounds like you have to have access/money for all the food in the world... which just isn’t realistic.

I choose from the options available - and it has led me to some new foods that I didn’t eat before (eg omelettes), rather than always having a sandwich. But recently this has been during lockdown which makes it easier in many ways (less distractions).

It seems to me talking about the 'privileged' has become a reason not to do anything- don't Lean In at work as that's only for privileged women, don't enjoy lockdown even remotely as that's for privileged people, don't do intuitive eating as prisoners and truck drivers can't do it. Thinking through whether people are privileged is a great thing to do if you then go on to work out how you can level the playing field for those less privileged, but it's so often used just simply as a reason why we can't do things. I don't see why intuitive eating shouldn't be something a good proportion of people could consider- alongside thinking about how stuff like food deserts or the lack of availability/cost of good quality food would limit this. It's not a reason not to do it at all!

Intuitive eating is the culmination of fatlogic for some (not all). Their relationship with food is already fucked up that the normal instinct of eating what will sustain you is gone. No, Intuitive eating should not justify polishing off 4 pizzas in 4 night in a row with no uncomplicated proteins and veggies. It may be the anti-diet, but it is not supposed to justify people becoming grossly overweight as if evolution had planned for human to be normally like that.

Sorry OP but the way you come over is like one of those over-zealous people who has just been enlightened and wants to din this miraculous finding into everybody else.

I'm really glad that you've found a way of eating that works for you. Really glad. It sounds like it's been a long time coming and I hope it works for you long term. As foamrolling so adroitly says though, if it were that easy, there wouldn't be a multi-billion pound diet industry.

Concentrate on what you're doing. :)

@PleasePassTheCoffeeThanks

I'm afraid intuitive eating is for the privileged Quite an exageration... we can all make changes to our diet even taking into account shift work, family meals, etc All night shift workers don't eat petrol station sausage rolls or similar Most people can eat during a (day or night) shift,it doesn't have to be as grim as you make it sound like.

OP I agree with you. I think the key is to stop using food for comfort or when bored and be mindful of your hunger.

Nobody's saying shift workers live off sausage rolls!

They're saying that healthy eating/intuitive eating is actually quite complicated for a lot of people. It involves a lot of things that don't come naturally to everyone - and yes, it does generally involve a fair bit of privilege. But if you are privileged, you often don't recognise it, and just see what you do as normal.

To me, the privileges involved would be things like this:

• the luxury of time, so that you can do things like prep your lunches for work in advance. Having time also means you can spend time cooking nice, fresh and healthy meals.
• the luxury of earning well. Earning well means you can afford to take shortcuts - like buying healthy shop-bought salads or nice, fresh takeaway sandwiches instead of cheap meal-deals from Tesco.
• working a job where you can pick and choose your breaks. Being able to eat at your desk is a privilege - it means you can grab a banana or a cereal bar if you're hungry mid-morning. Lots of jobs mean you can't do that.
• having the skills needed in order to prepare cheap, healthy meals in advance. Those who are taught to cook at a young age will have a huge advantage over people who have no idea how to boil an egg. Yes, of course you can teach yourself but it takes time and costs money.

It's easy to say "it has nothing to do with privilege" when you're one of the privileged ones.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe OK, maybe I am a bit over-zealous about it, fair enough.

I just get a bit frustrated seeing so many diet threads on MN (and diet talk in real life!) when it's scientifically proven that diets don't work. Nothing to do with my opinion/experience, that's just a fact. I know the misery they cause and I guess just wanted to redress the balance a bit, as I see so much low-carb/WW/Slimming world stuff on here (and people seem to really struggle with it much of the time).

But I'll quiet down now :)

@Nearlyalmost50

It seems to me talking about the 'privileged' has become a reason not to do anything- don't Lean In at work as that's only for privileged women, don't enjoy lockdown even remotely as that's for privileged people, don't do intuitive eating as prisoners and truck drivers can't do it. Thinking through whether people are privileged is a great thing to do if you then go on to work out how you can level the playing field for those less privileged, but it's so often used just simply as a reason why we can't do things. I don't see why intuitive eating shouldn't be something a good proportion of people could consider- alongside thinking about how stuff like food deserts or the lack of availability/cost of good quality food would limit this. It's not a reason not to do it at all!

I don't think anyone should say you can't succeed at work, (or at intuitive eating for that matter), BECAUSE it is harder for those who are less privileged. It is ok to be successful. Hurrah for you if you are ! Genuinely.

What does become an issue is when people become successful and refuse to acknowledge any privilege or simple good luck they may have had.

This is when you get a lot of "I did it. Why can't you?", "I'm a self made man. Why can't these people in council estates or other groups just do what I did? Are they lazy?" type comments, which are rarely helpful and often just a chance for some people to gloat. This is unfair, as many people have had worse luck than others in one way or another and nobody's circumstances are identical.

That isn't to say that it is bad to be successful, but it does mean we should all recognise our own privilege before we start lording it above people who have been less fortunate.

I'm sure you know all this, but you know. Just thought I'd mention.

Well said Nearlyalmost50