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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset my friends got me drunk

113 replies

Kia123456 · 09/07/2020 14:50

So this actually happened last summer but it's been playing on my mind lately.

Basically I was at a BBQ at a friends house and pretty much everyone was drinking. I'm not a big drinker and was sticking to soft drinks that night. No reason other than that's what I wanted to do. My friends were all drinking cocktails and they asked if I wanted them to make me some non alcoholic ones. Turns out they were alcoholic. I didn't realise as I couldn't taste the alcohol.
After about 4 or 5 I realised I was starting to feel drunk and confronted them. They confessed and we all ended up arguing. One friend in particular was quite nasty saying I was always boring and they just wanted me to have fun for a change.

I left and things have never been quite the same since.

I was upset because they broke my trust. I was my decision to drink or not and I don't think I should be considered boring because I don't want to get drunk.
Also, they had no way of knowning if I had another reason for not drinking. What if I'd been pregnant or on medication?

AIBU to still feel upset about this nearly a year later?

OP posts:
Itsjustabitofbanter · 09/07/2020 15:21

What absolute arseholes! They’re not your friends op. They spiked your drink ffs. You could have had them arrested and charged for that!

Wyntersdiary · 09/07/2020 15:22

I cant drink alcohol, i pass out and get really ill for days - sorry if im boring because of it but i would find new friends if they did that.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 09/07/2020 15:22

I love a drink or three but your so called friends were absolute arseholes.
As you say, it's YOUR decision to drink or not, not theirs.
I couldn't stay friends with them after that, they've proved they don't give a shit about your wishes.
Not only that, how the hell do they know that you wouldn't have reacted badly to that?
It had the capacity to seriously backfire if it turned out you were allergic or reacted badly to the alcohol as you're not used to it.
Angry on your behalf!

BertiesLanding · 09/07/2020 15:22

YANBU at all - and I think you're probably still upset because you wanted to do more about it and you didn't.

Russellbrandshair · 09/07/2020 15:24

If you had been taking metronidazole you could have been violently ill, maybe even needed emergency treatment/stomach pumped. They aren’t friends. They put your health at risk for a stupid “joke”. Cut them out and never speak to them ever again.

ComeBy · 09/07/2020 15:24

Really horrible behaviour.

Apart from everything else, i would have hated the whole ganging up on you with a secret that they all knew and you were the sole target.

Of course it was an incredibly irresponsible and hurtful thing to do. They had no right.

However - I think you need to have it out with them, if the apologise and understand, move on, if they continue with the 'boring' crap, move on, well away from them!

If you did tell them how it made you feel and they still did not apologise, then...move on.

Stewing and seething is not good for you. They are not worthy.

Zeroenergy · 09/07/2020 15:24

YANBU. People never know the reasons behind your choice not to drink. Mine is because of the anxiety alcohol gives me - it has such an affect on my mood especially the next day and so I actively avoid it most of the time. I would be so angry if I were you - they don’t sound like friends to me at all good riddance to them!

Jellybeansincognito · 09/07/2020 15:28

They’re not your friends. Also, how lame to need alcohol to have fun or be seen as fun.
Are they 12?

Shemakeslists · 09/07/2020 15:29

When I was young and new to London I drove with a friend to a party held by one of her close friends. I wasn’t drinking as driving. Hot night and had a few large glasses of orange juice. Tasted unusual but naively didn’t think anything of it. Drove home with friend through London. It was only weeks later when I tried vodka and orange for the first time that I realised what I had been drinking. Not funny. People can be so stupid.

Toptotoeunicolour · 09/07/2020 15:32

Find new friends. That is unbelievably childish, boring, potentially damaging. They are idiots.

SerenDippitty · 09/07/2020 15:33

You need some new friends. These people are vile. Giving people alcohol without their knowledge or consent constitutes assault.

Defenestratethecat · 09/07/2020 15:33

What would they have done if you'd been driving home fgs? Nasty behaviour which could have had tragic consequences. You're right to be angry and upset.

felixowl · 09/07/2020 15:35

Hi Kia, You can come out with us anytime you like. You drive and we will buy you all the soft drinks you want. 😊
Seriously, it was a scabby trick that 16 year olds play, not adults. But now you have let off steam. Will you let it go?

FinallyHere · 09/07/2020 15:37

I feel your pain. Years ago I went to a party hosted by friends, asked for a wine spritzer. After the first asked for my glass just to be topped up with water.

To this day I don't know why they thought it was funny that I drank wine all night. About two litres, thinking it was water. I wanted to be well hydrated as I had to be up early the next morning to catch a transatlantic flight for work.

It took me ages to discover why I felt so bad the next morning. Even if I had been drinking I would never have drunk that much.

Don't see much of them these days. They keep in touch but I'm mostly just too busy.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2020 15:37

It's a form of poisoning and I'd dump them flat.

5foot5 · 09/07/2020 15:39

This is really, really not on and they sound very immature. I don't think I would ever feel quite the same way about these "friends", nor would I trust them again.

Did any of them refer to it afterwards or have the grace to apologise when they sobered up and realised what utter arses they had been?

SeagoingSexpot · 09/07/2020 15:39

Anyone who tries to manipulate or push me into drinking gets walked away from, then and there. Anyone who actually tricked me into drinking would be dead to me. They aren't friends, I'm sorry.

RozHuntleysStump · 09/07/2020 15:39

That’s horrendous

billy1966 · 09/07/2020 15:40

Unforgivable.
Friends don't do that.

hellsbellsmelons · 09/07/2020 15:41

Wow - I enjoy a drink but I would never expect someone who didn't want to, to drink any way.
They are assholes.
If they need alcohol to enjoy themselves that is their lookout.

It would be like someone giving me drugs when I'd specifically said I didn't take drugs.
I'm quite shocked actually!

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 09/07/2020 15:42

Find new friends. What they did is seriously not ok.

LillianBland · 09/07/2020 15:45

I want an explanation from the posters who think the OP is wrong to feel upset about having her drink spiked. If you’re interested enough in what she has to say, that you voted that she was unreasonable to be upset about being made drunk by her friends, I assume you have an explanation.

PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 15:46

Absolutely YANBU. I don’t drink at all, I have Gilbert’s syndrome which means I can sometimes turn a lovely shade of yellow, and hangovers last around 4 days. I also have alcoholics in the family and actually really hate what alcohol can do to people. I think people that need to rely on alcohol to have fun are boring, obviously their personality is so boring without it!

Those people are not your friends, get rid and open up some space in your life for real friends.

MrsTribbiani · 09/07/2020 15:46

That’s a horrible thing to do to a friend (or anyone). How old are you all? I’d be furious of a 14 he old did this. But grown adults spiking drinks? Awful, unforgivable behaviour.

BurtsBeesKnees · 09/07/2020 15:47

Wow you need new friends op. What a horrid thing to do and say to you

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