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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate the excuse “she got out before we could spay her”

282 replies

Soubriquet · 07/07/2020 13:21

With cats

It’s never, “we wanted one litter” “or we thought she would make a good mum” even though these are awful excuses its always “she got out before we could spay her and we didn’t know she was pregnant”

Someone I know, her cat has just had kittens. I haven’t said anything as it’s none of my business, but I know this would be her excuse

Seriously, spay your cats! They can get pregnant from 4 months of age. That isn’t fair to what is essentially a teenaged mum. Vets will spay from 4 months. No need to let her have a season unlike dogs

Neuter your toms. They will roam for miles fighting other males if left intact. They will stalk females and yowl for them.

OP posts:
SimonJT · 07/07/2020 16:53

@Alsohuman

And if these friends/family want dogs it's a pity they can't take some of the unwanted pups in rescue instead

Perhaps people who want children should just adopt those who are in care instead.

Ah I just love arseholes who compare my son to an abandoned animal
thecatneuterer · 07/07/2020 16:55

She has never had kittens, obviously, but she has become increasingly anxious over the years and I now find early neuters can increase anxiety in animals inclined that way

Based on a sample size of what? All our kittens are neutered at 1kg - thousands and thousands of them. And all seem to grow into calm, settled, well-adjusted adults.

MashedPotatoBrainz · 07/07/2020 16:56

I would love one of mine to be accidentally pregnant. I'd keep them all, even if there were 20. But sadly one's old and grumpy and the other is male.

loobyloo1234 · 07/07/2020 16:56

Its a him @vanillandhoney - my point is vets are not doing the op's at 4 months like people are saying. Not at the present time

And no, I won't keep a non house cat inside. He hasnt gone past the garden yet as I havent let him but its not easy for everyone to do that i'm sure

Crazy decision by whoever it was to not allow spaying and neutering due to the virus at this moment in time

thecatneuterer · 07/07/2020 16:56

@BillywilliamV

Our vet will neuter, you just hand over in the carpark. How many people have actually enquired?
There were a few months when a lot of vets were doing no neutering at all.
romdowa · 07/07/2020 16:57

Yabu in my view. I've had a cat get out on me and get pregnant, I had tried to get her neutered but the vet refused to do it, saying it wouldn't need to be done until 6 months. She was 17 weeks when she got out. I had no idea at the time they could get pregant so young , it was 8/9 years ago and I believed my vet when they said she could wait until 6 months. I've still heard of vets telling this to people even now. So it's not always the owners fault.
Plus with covid vets were not doing neutering so I'm guessing some people ended up getting caught out.

Alsohuman · 07/07/2020 16:58

Ah I just love arseholes who compare my son to an abandoned animal

I didn’t. I compared much wanted puppies with their human equivalent. In response to a ridiculous suggestion that all dogs are equal.

Topseyt · 07/07/2020 16:59

I took on a kitten (a Tom) many years ago now after a neighbour's cat had an accidental litter.

I was paranoid that he would be responsible for no further accidental litters. The vet advised neutering at six months. I kept him as a house cat for 6 months and then got him done. It was a struggle though as I had an infant school child, a toddler and a DH, all of whom seemed to have a total inability to close the back door.

How cat never got out in that time I really will never know, but I had to be very on the ball.

Years later when we took on a two year old cocker spaniel we knew she was unspayed but not whether or when she had ever had a season. The vet preferred to spay them as bang in-between seasons as possible so we had to let her have a season before we could calculate it. She stayed in while she was in season.

The effect on my already long ago neutered labrador boy was interesting though. He must have been carrying her in-season bitch scent out on his walks because I began to find him pursued avidly by other males. I even got told off by some of the owners until I actually pointed out that he was a boy and had a willy.

I took to dousing said boy labrador with citronella scented anti-mate bitch spray each day before taking him out just to reduce the problem. He wasn't impressed with that at all. 🤣

vanillandhoney · 07/07/2020 17:00

@loobyloo1234

Its a him *@vanillandhoney* - my point is vets are not doing the op's at 4 months like people are saying. Not at the present time

And no, I won't keep a non house cat inside. He hasnt gone past the garden yet as I havent let him but its not easy for everyone to do that i'm sure

Crazy decision by whoever it was to not allow spaying and neutering due to the virus at this moment in time

Blimey - talk about a blasé attitude. I have a young male kitten. He'll be inside until I can get him in for neutering, whether he wants to stay inside or not!

But by all means, let your cat out - what will you do when you turn your back and he's off over the garden wall and gone? Because all it takes is a few seconds and they're off and gone.

AlternativePerspective · 07/07/2020 17:01

@ thecatneuterer have you had to hold off rehoming kittens because of the no neutering during COVID?

thecatneuterer · 07/07/2020 17:01

@romdowa I agree with you. I think a lot of vets bear the responsibility for this. Even after the BVA guidelines changed , many years ago, to recommending neutering at four months, many vets simply ignore this. I'm frequently stunned at the shite advice I've heard of vets giving owners about when to neuter.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 07/07/2020 17:01

I now find early neuters can increase anxiety in animals inclined that way

Not convinced there is any scientific evidence of that in cats. Source please?

SimonJT · 07/07/2020 17:01

@loobyloo1234

Its a him *@vanillandhoney* - my point is vets are not doing the op's at 4 months like people are saying. Not at the present time

And no, I won't keep a non house cat inside. He hasnt gone past the garden yet as I havent let him but its not easy for everyone to do that i'm sure

Crazy decision by whoever it was to not allow spaying and neutering due to the virus at this moment in time

By allowing a young kitten out who has not been neutered you are failing to put his welfare first. Cats are fast, when he bolts you will not catch him, you are putting him at risk of disease, being run over and being attacked by adult cats. Even if he was neutered he is far too young to go out. You are currently being an irresponsible owner.

If you insist on him going out you need to cat proof your garden first or install a catio.

AlternativePerspective · 07/07/2020 17:02

An unwanted dog isn’t comparable to a child in care. For one, people aren’t creating children for a market which is essentially what you’re doing by allowing your bitch to breed. There are already puppies out there, no-one gives birth to puppies last time I checked where is where the difference sort of comes in, y’know?

I bet you were one of those batshit people on that dogs vs children thread... Grin

thecatneuterer · 07/07/2020 17:03

@AlternativePerspective to an extent yes, however only stopped neutering for about three weeks, and after that we have made sure that all our females at least have been going out neutered.

SimonJT · 07/07/2020 17:03

@AlternativePerspective

An unwanted dog isn’t comparable to a child in care. For one, people aren’t creating children for a market which is essentially what you’re doing by allowing your bitch to breed. There are already puppies out there, no-one gives birth to puppies last time I checked where is where the difference sort of comes in, y’know?

I bet you were one of those batshit people on that dogs vs children thread... Grin

As an adoptive parent you would be sadly amazed at the number of people who compare him to an abandoned dog or cat.
Alsohuman · 07/07/2020 17:03

I have a young male kitten. He'll be inside until I can get him in for neutering, whether he wants to stay inside or not!

Where did you get him? Rescues neuter all their animals, don’t they?

Anamechanged · 07/07/2020 17:04

Our kitties were tiny and we had to wait to slay them.

Thread takes a dark turn

SonjaMorgan · 07/07/2020 17:04

DC and keeping a cat indoors aren't a good mix. My young DC let our cat out the day before the appointment. Luckily said cat returned and then turned out to be a spayed male (we took in a stray). The vet did say they couldn't extract a penis but I still felt pretty stupid.

bitofasleuth · 07/07/2020 17:04

@DrPatient

I'm waiting for all the projecting cat feminists who think it shouldn't be up to the "women"...
Grin Oh, but it needs to be the females:

Neuter 90% of males and you will still have 100% litters.
Neuter 90% of females and you are down to 10% litters.

vanillandhoney · 07/07/2020 17:04

@Valambtine

My cat was neutered at 5 months because we had toms sat outside the cat flap caterwauling, and she was born to a very young mum - 10 months old when our cat was born.

She has never had kittens, obviously, but she has become increasingly anxious over the years and I now find early neuters can increase anxiety in animals inclined that way. Now at 7 she refuses to go outside at all and any minor changes at home cause her to start peeing on a (new and different) bit of carpet. We are at the end of our tether and have no idea if we can handle another 10 years of pissy carpet Sad

Based on a sample size of what, one cat?

All my females over the years have been neutered before six months of age and none of them have shown any form of anxiety. Maybe you just have an anxious cat, who would have been anxious whether she was spayed or not? How can you tell either way?

vanillandhoney · 07/07/2020 17:05

@Alsohuman

I have a young male kitten. He'll be inside until I can get him in for neutering, whether he wants to stay inside or not!

Where did you get him? Rescues neuter all their animals, don’t they?

He's not a rescue, he was an abandoned stray.
romdowa · 07/07/2020 17:07

@thecatneuterer 100% I find it with a lot of older vets especially, they arent always up to date on things. Which is why I think its harsh to judge people. Animals are escape artists and all it takes is one mistake and they are gone.
A friend of mine has been waiting to get her cat neutered due to covid and the poor thing went into heat and the tom cats are literally stalking her house. They locked the cat out of the kitchen during the heatwave , so they could open windows and doors and they had tom cats trying to get in 😅😅 they were outside in the garden howling and wailing.

AlternativePerspective · 07/07/2020 17:07

Where did you get him? Rescues neuter all their animals, don’t they? depends on the age of the kitten.

Years ago I rescued two female kittens from the RSPCA, they were about ten weeks old IIRC, so I had to take them back to be spayed.

CoalCraft · 07/07/2020 17:10

I recently took on an adult (18 month) tomcat from a friend who couldn't cope. She hadn't had him neutered. I rang around a few vets the next day and only one was offering neutering during lockdown. The earliest available appointment was two weeks away.

He's always been allowed to roam and though we tried to keep him in at first it was obviously messing him miserable and in the end we thought his welfare was best served by being let out. Obviously we wouldn't have if he'd been female, but it's entirely possible that (s)he could have escaped in that time and gotten pregnant.

All this to say, sometimes there are genuine accidents that result in a cat getting pregnant. Of course in our case she'd have spayed neutered because the spaying would have already been booked, but that might not always be possible either.