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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate the excuse “she got out before we could spay her”

282 replies

Soubriquet · 07/07/2020 13:21

With cats

It’s never, “we wanted one litter” “or we thought she would make a good mum” even though these are awful excuses its always “she got out before we could spay her and we didn’t know she was pregnant”

Someone I know, her cat has just had kittens. I haven’t said anything as it’s none of my business, but I know this would be her excuse

Seriously, spay your cats! They can get pregnant from 4 months of age. That isn’t fair to what is essentially a teenaged mum. Vets will spay from 4 months. No need to let her have a season unlike dogs

Neuter your toms. They will roam for miles fighting other males if left intact. They will stalk females and yowl for them.

OP posts:

FudgeBrownie2019 · 07/07/2020 16:37

Your not my niece are you? She has a cat called Stevie as in Stevie Nicks, not heard of another cat with that name before.

I really might be - Stevie here is also named after Ms Nicks because I went through a Fleetwood Mac phase when I was younger and fell in love with the name - when she arrived she had this steely glint in her eye like she couldn't be arsed with any of us and I immediately knew she was a Stevie.

louloubelx · 07/07/2020 16:38

We had a surprise litter from our dog. Kept her in and in the garden the entire time she was in season. One day found a huge hole under the fence where the neighbours male dog had dug his way under to get to her! Ended up keeping one and the others went to family friends. Accidents can happen to even the most stringent of owners I think.

time4anothername · 07/07/2020 16:39

years back mine was announced to be pregnant when we took her in for the op. Rescue cat and turns out she was older than we had been led to believe by the rescue charity.

anon444877 · 07/07/2020 16:41

We had a cat that could somehow open the fridge. I’m sure there are too many that just don’t bother but of course it’s possible for genuine mistakes to happen.

thecatneuterer · 07/07/2020 16:42

@Alsohuman

No point trying to reason (or argue) with someone who thinks it's acceptable to let their dog have a litter because they're "sweet" and "cute"

That’s not the reason. And no, you’re right, there’s no point at all. Particularly since there’s already a friends and family waiting list for the hypothetical puppies.

And if these friends/family want dogs it's a pity they can't take some of the unwanted pups in rescue instead.

Toilenstripes · 07/07/2020 16:44

Yet another reason to adopt an adult cat that’s already sterilised. Kittens are a handful and a young cat in heat can be a nightmare to keep inside.

IHaveBrilloHair · 07/07/2020 16:44

My next cat will be a pedigree, which I know many people won't agree with either but I really one one of this breed, it will most definitely be neutered though.
It's a long way off anyway.

BillywilliamV · 07/07/2020 16:45

Well we wanted a litter because she is a full- breed MaineCoon and then at 14 months it became obvious that she is a he..so if he has knocked up your female kitty then I can only apologise.. though the kittens will be gorgeous!

thecatneuterer · 07/07/2020 16:46

@bowchicawowwow

Happened to me, I rescued a cat from an acquaintance who was being made homeless. I stupidly just believed her when she said it was spayed. I let her outdoors as soon as she was settled. I got back from work one day and found three kittens on the bottom of my sons bed.

I was lucky to be put in contact with someone from the cats protection league who gave me a voucher to have her spayed at a very discounted price but the telling off I got when picking up the voucher made me feel awful. All kittens found lovely homes and lived long and happy (neutered) lives.

That's another thing that needs to be highlighted and the word spread - DON'T BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE TELL YOU! The amount of people who have genuinely believed their animal was neutered because that's what they were told by the people giving it to them is staggeringly high. It's best to never take anyone at their word when it comes to this.

Pleasebeaflesbite · 07/07/2020 16:46

Every cat born effectively means that another one, somewhere, doesn't get homed and will probably get put down. Even if you get good homes for your kittens you are taking up one of the finite number of homes available, that could have gone to other unwanted kittens

Sorry but this is clearly bollocks as it assumes all cat acquirers would be seeking a cat when we all know they choose you 🤷‍♀️

Alsohuman · 07/07/2020 16:46

And if these friends/family want dogs it's a pity they can't take some of the unwanted pups in rescue instead

Perhaps people who want children should just adopt those who are in care instead.

AlternativePerspective · 07/07/2020 16:47

I think COVID has certainly made things difficult with e.g. neutering operations being cancelled and I predict the rescues will probably have more kittens than usual for rehoming this year.

When I was about five we adopted two kittens from one of the neighbours. They were tiny, and both ginger, and the person informed us they were both males. And as the belief seems to be that only toms are ginger we settled for that. Then a couple of months later one of them got out and got into a fight. We took it to the vet, who promptly asked about spaying at which point it emerged that our ginger tom was in fact female. We took the other one straight in and it turned out that she too was a female. They went in to be spayed that week..... Bear in mind this was over 40 years ago....

Personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable aborting kittens but I wouldn’t let it get to that stage in the first place. If my cat got out (assuming I had a cat) I would book it in to be spayed that week, so it wouldn’t be a pregnancy as such.

I also have no idea why anyone buys kittens from gumtree and the like, You pay for the kitten and then additionally for vaccinations/neutering, whereas if you get one from rescue that is all covered in the adoption fee.

Mmm I want some kittens.......

Mammatino · 07/07/2020 16:48

My tomcat was booked in the week of lockdown and was cancelled. We have had doors and windows shut in the sweltering heat, out foxed him when he figured out putting the bin out routine... He broke out when an amazon man knocked and DS opened the door. He came home at 3am covered in pungent black water, scared but triumphsnt. We managed to get him done last Thursday thank god. If you can get them done get them done, he's lovely again now but had started to turn into a very nasty aggressive dressing gown assaulter.

Extracurricularfatigue · 07/07/2020 16:49

One of our cats (and her sister RIP) came from a friend whose young cat was let out of her house by her babysitter because she'd forgotten to tell her not to. The silliest thing was that the cat was being kept in waiting for a spay after she'd already got out a first time and got pregnant and had a litter already. They were utterly mortified by the whole thing from start to finish. It took two silly mistakes (the first time one of their small children had left a door open) and kaboom, kittens. They did rehome all the kittens with friends but it was less than ideal. They adored their cat though and had her spayed the very first day the vet would do it after the second litter, after keeping her under extremely close supervision in the interim. And we were totally paranoid about getting the kittens done pretty much the first day the vet would let us through the door. I don't think being a caring and responsible pet owner is entirely incompatible with making mistakes.

I do wonder about the spay and abort. I didn't know it was possible until I read about people on here doing it. I think vets could give people more information on it when they book a spay maybe, so they know the option is there if something does go wrong.

thecatneuterer · 07/07/2020 16:49

@Alsohuman

And if these friends/family want dogs it's a pity they can't take some of the unwanted pups in rescue instead

Perhaps people who want children should just adopt those who are in care instead.

reductio ad absurdum sums up that statement.

maddiemookins16mum · 07/07/2020 16:49

YANBU, there’s usually always an excuse. The people would do well to spend a few hours volunteering at a rescue to see the results of their ignorance/carelessness.
I volunteered for one, it was heartbreaking.

RedLlama · 07/07/2020 16:50

I know someone who intentionally has let her cat have several litters as it was “pretty”. She then said to me “if it wasn’t for people like me, there would be no cats”

vanillandhoney · 07/07/2020 16:50

@Alsohuman

No point trying to reason (or argue) with someone who thinks it's acceptable to let their dog have a litter because they're "sweet" and "cute"

That’s not the reason. And no, you’re right, there’s no point at all. Particularly since there’s already a friends and family waiting list for the hypothetical puppies.

Nothing to do with the puppies having homes or not. Most people can easily flog puppies - it's not exactly difficult, is it? People do it everyday on the internet, after all.

The point is, people shouldn't breed their pets just because they want a litter. If breeding was better regulated, there'd be less dogs in rescue. As it is, people can buy a puppy and get rid of it weeks later, then go out and get another.

Such a shame there are people on here who are willing to contribute to that. But as long as your dog/cat/hamster/iguana gets to have a litter, it's all in good fun, and fuck the consequences

loobyloo1234 · 07/07/2020 16:50

YABVU

My kitten is 4 months old and due to COVID, everything bar emergencies have been postponed. My kitten wants to be outside - at the moment I have to be out there the whole time to stop them running away. Not fun for either of us. The vets have now scheduled me in when the kitten is 5 months old. Not my fault

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/07/2020 16:50

Just because a cat or dog gets pregnant doesn't mean it has to stay pregnant

The mismate jab is over £200 (or was when my friend had to have her bitch injected a few years ago - God knows what it is now).

I get annoyed with people who "love kittens" and deliberately let their cats continue to have litter after litter.

And also owners of unswayed bitches who don't take precautions to protect their bitch in season.

I've got two spayed bitches and an uncastrated dog. A couple of weeks ago he was showing a lot of interest in another spaniel (unleaded and running free) on a dog walk. I tried to call him back and he took no notice, so i apologised to the owner and said "He obviously likes your dog" "Oh yes - she's in heat".

I shot over there faster than a speeding bullet, dragged him away and leashed him. I said - "He's still as God made him - you want to be more careful with her." (Meanwhile she was waving her bottom at him and making little flirty lunges)

Her response was that it wouldn't have been too bad, because they were both the same breed. About half an hour later our paths crossed again, and that dog was STILL off leash and running off away from her owner.

I think some people are hoping for an "accidental" litter that they won't have to pay a stud fee for.

Yogafairy · 07/07/2020 16:51

I don't want to get into a disagreement about what vets will and won't do however, I took my kitten at 4 months, 6 months, 9 months and finally almost 2 years.

Every single time I took her to 4 different local vets to me (East Sussex) refused point blank to spay her as they deemed her too small. I know this sounds like nonsense but it's not. She had a litter when she was 16 months. The litter all went to family members. Even on the final time when they did spay her, when she was just under 2 they said that she was very small to spay!

If this hasn't happened to me I wouldn't have believed it.

vanillandhoney · 07/07/2020 16:51

@loobyloo1234

YABVU

Then you just don't let the kitten out. They might want to go out - you know the consequences of doing so. Or, let her out on lead/harness, or in a "catio" in the garden.

Unless you have two un-neutered, opposite sex kittens, COVID isn't an excuse to let your pet get out and get pregnant.

Valambtine · 07/07/2020 16:52

My cat was neutered at 5 months because we had toms sat outside the cat flap caterwauling, and she was born to a very young mum - 10 months old when our cat was born.

She has never had kittens, obviously, but she has become increasingly anxious over the years and I now find early neuters can increase anxiety in animals inclined that way. Now at 7 she refuses to go outside at all and any minor changes at home cause her to start peeing on a (new and different) bit of carpet. We are at the end of our tether and have no idea if we can handle another 10 years of pissy carpet

AlternativePerspective · 07/07/2020 16:52

Perhaps people who want children should just adopt those who are in care instead. oh yes, because having a biological child is just the same as buying a dog from a person who allowed it to have puppies purely for the satisfaction of someone else.

It is a dog not remotely comparable to a child....

BillywilliamV · 07/07/2020 16:53

Our vet will neuter, you just hand over in the carpark. How many people have actually enquired?

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