Have they forgotten my birthday?

[PixieLee123]

I am quite a sensitive person which doesn’t help but wondering if I am just being silly? I have worked where I am for 7 years, always write messages in other colleagues cards and contributed to lots of ‘whip rounds’ for special birthdays/moving out presents/anniversary presents over the years. I have a big birthday coming up this week and won’t be back in work now as off for it. I am really upset that I didn’t even get so much as a card from work. Every year we get cards and I remember one of my colleagues who still works there, receiving a massive hamper of presents for her same special age birthday (which I contributed towards) Should I tell them how upset I am about this or just leave it?

And a very happy birthday when it comes

Could it be that as you are off someone you work with is planning to drop something off on the day?

Also we’re just beginning to ease out of lockdown. My response would depend on how your workplace has been affected. Have lots of people been furloughed? Are people working from him?

I probably wouldn’t mention it myself as I don’t know how without seeming petty but I wouldn’t be too keen to contribute after if they did miss you out.

Op feel for you. It is strange times but a card even. Im January so I get feck all. Its hard when you feel you think of others. Have a lovely birthday

Working from home that should be.

I've had the same re a big birthday in lockdown, other people have had presents for milestone birthdays/occasions but nothing for me.

I would wait until after your birthday before you say anything. How do you know they haven't organised to have something delivered to you on the day, like a hamper, bouquet of flowers, a gift card in a card......

Lots of people are giving things like this a miss for this year though, because of Coronavirus. Lots of people didn't do Easter or Mothers Day this year, lots of people missed celebrating their birthdays because of lockdown, lots of people are owed presents and cards they'll never get.

Is everybody at your place of work and able to put cash into an envelope and sign a card? People aren't really using cash at the moment so maybe nobody has any? Maybe nobody wants to go into a card shop at the moment?

Any other time you can complain but I don't think you can due to the current circumstances.

I'd wait and see but don't be too hurt and don't hold a grudge if they have forgotten. I am the gift giving queen and since Coronavirus I've lost this title. I've forgotten:
-to send a mother's Day card and gift
-sisters birthday
-nan and grandad anniversary
-to call ex on father's Day
And probably other stuff that I haven't remembered to know I've forgotten.

I'm overwhelmed at the moment and dealing with a lot of pain and mental health issues that my family don't know about. Them berating me for forgetting important dates has had such a negative impact on me.

Sending you future wishes for a happy birthday OP. (Feel free to feel rather special, not many people have heard this from me!)

It's my birthday this week too and I know that my MIL has forgotten and she she always remembers . In fact she says that week that she had forgotten her other DIL's birthday which was a couple of weeks ago, without realising she was forgetting mine too! I know that it's lockdown and the strange times we are living in . In fact I nearly forgot myself . I got an early card from an aunt at the weekend and I looked at the envelope for a few minutes wondering why I appeared to be getting a card .
I don't expect cards from colleagues but we don't do that anyway . I don't know the birthdays of any of my colleagues although sometimes it becomes apparent via Facebook . Different I suppose if its usual to celebrate birthdays but I think everyone is preoccupied with abnormal things these days

It's my birthday this week too and I know that my MIL has forgotten and she she always remembers . In fact she says that week that she had forgotten her other DIL's birthday which was a couple of weeks ago, without realising she was forgetting mine too! I know that it's lockdown and the strange times we are living in . In fact I nearly forgot myself . I got an early card from an aunt at the weekend and I looked at the envelope for a few minutes wondering why I appeared to be getting a card .
I don't expect cards from colleagues but we don't do that anyway . I don't know the birthdays of any of my colleagues although sometimes it becomes apparent via Facebook . Different I suppose if its usual to celebrate birthdays but I think everyone is preoccupied with abnormal things these days

What is all this fuss about a birthday - it really doesn't interest anybody but yourself, and perhaps your nearest family members. Where I live it is considered to be bad luck to wish someone a happy birthday before the day has actually arrived. We have a group at our local, and before lockdown we would collect money and buy a gift for the person from our group (clique) . There have been several birthdays since lockdown started and we have agreed that when this is over we will have a big party together and not even think about cards/ gifts - we are not 5 years old !

Do they know (a) that it's your birthday; (b) that you want it acknowledged? I absolutely can't bear it when people remind me of my birthday (I keep it secret insofar as possible) and especially if they make a fuss of my new 'special age'! My transition from one age to another is not something that I wish to make into a social occasion!!! I am aware that I am unusual in having had that attitude almost since childhood, but quite a number of people feel a bit like that as we get older, especially if the acknowledgement come not just from family but from people in the workplace. So maybe if you didn't mention your birthday, people thought you didn't want them making a thing of it? Also, I don't know what type of job you have, but many workplaces will be super-busy and rushed off their feet (if involving 'key workers') or otherwise just re-opening now and/or preoccupied with the logistical and financial aspects of the pandemic. And indeed all celebrations right now may be toned down or avoided altogether due to issues with social distancing and rules about sharing food, etc. So if it's just an issue this year, I wouldn't make too much of it. And you're not obliged to donate to everyone else's either!

What happened @PixieLee123, did they do anything?

This is one of the reasons I was glad the last school I worked in was one where the Head basically banned collections. Someone always gets missed out.

In the school I worked in on my 21st I shared my birthday with two others. One was turning 30 and the other 50. There was a set way things were done in that school - every birthday there was a card and cake and big birthdays were a collection and a fuss. It was such a tight nit team that even birthdays in the holidays were marked.

The social convener who did all the organising was a bit of a pain, but generally alright. However, after doing the triple collection for the big birthdays she decided that since her bestie was the one turning 50, and since she'd had a tough time recently, it was the "biggest" birthday so she spent the majority of the collection on a ridiculously massive gift. Me and the other got the normal cake and card with an added box of chocolates.

It caused an absolute storm as many people felt she'd effectively stolen the collection money to spend on her bestie. She ended up leaving the school shortly after because she felt people were horrible to her. Her bestie was absolutely mortified by it.

Whenever this comes up all the "You're an adult, what does it matter?" comments bemuse me. Of course it's upsetting if there's a set way of doing things in your workplace and you are the only one missed out. To pretend otherwise is just daft.