To ask how sister-in-law got her money

[SweetSouberry]

It would be really rude to ask wouldn’t it but I am fascinated?

I think you can ask but only from the basis of being interested in her and not the money itself. Do you go for supper? Ask her about how she settled on her business plan, how long it took to grow from an idea into a business etc.
Ask the how questions not the how much.
If you’re genuinely interested rather than jealous people are often happy to share.

What does the SIL do? You say she works for herself.
Is it that she is an MLM bot and you can’t see where she gets the money she says she does from? (She’s just over exaggerating her success)
Does she own a company that employs lots of people? Or just she just work for herself as a dog walker/hairdresser etc

Also when you say ‘all her money’ do you mean she lives in a mansion and drives around in super car and has a new designer handbag every day of the week and holidays in the Maldives or do you mean she has a lot of nights out, nice clothes (that could be charity shop finds or high st)??

For everyone posting “it’s none of your business” - you are the WORST. I’d absolutely hate to be friends with any of you in real life, who the hell doesn’t love a bit of gossip every once in a while? Miserable goats.

@GinDrinker00

YABU massively. You obviously aren’t very close to her to not have any idea so that says it all really

BORING

A nosy, inquisitive and busybody for a sil. Nothing would make me avoid you at all costs. Please dont do this. You sound highly irritating for even thinking you could even ask this.

When I was younger there was a woman who was a friend of a friend but sometimes hung out with us. We were early 20s and all just starting out in careers from normal backgrounds etc.
I enviously asked a friend once how this woman always had new designer clothes, lived in such a nice flat in a lovely area etc. Turned out she had lost both her parents as a child/teen and was an only child.
Felt terrible and always try my hardest not to question where money comes from.

I had a school mum ask how I could possibly afford my swish car and nice house when she knew how much I earned as her husband worked at the same place I did and could I tell her my secret.

I responded that I would much rather still have my mum and not have had to watch her go through two years of shitty cancer treatment and ultimately see her pass away than have had the inheritance that allowed me to purchase them....

LadyFlumpalot Good reply, bet that makes her think next time she pokes her nose in someone else's business.

Sorry about your Mum and hope you are OK?

Don’t worry I have absolutely no intention of asking her about anything and I don’t spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about it but I am still curious.

I don’t think we will ever be close not because I am an irritant to her, I have been nothing but friendly and welcoming to her but different ages and stages. I doubt I will be invited to her hen as someone suggested.DH is close to BiL but I can’t see us being anything but friendly.

I know she works in property but it only later emerged that she owned the property. She works tirelessly coordinating things.

She is a nice woman and good company when I do encounter her. I am not friends on Facebook so I don’t go snooping but she is not ostentatious but fantastic house, a few high end vehicles and good clothes. They have fantastic holidays and a good social life.

Another thing that fascinates me is she can compartmentalise without thought to other people’s feelings. MiL offered cash for wedding and wanted to meet her parents but this was turned down. MiL (and I) want to know details of wedding but she is not involving her.

I am upset there is no role In wedding for my younger child but my older child does have role because of Godchild status. I doubt she has given any thought how her actions impact negatively on other people.

I wonder if the compartmentalising is also necessary to business success.

So to sum up I never intended to really ask her and DH will definitely not ask BiL.

Why should this woman have all your DC involved in her wedding? You seem envious of her being a high earner and it is pretty clear she has worked hard and earned her money. She isnt your friend, doesnt want to be and she happens to be marrying your DH brother. Sounds like you and MIL are stirring each other up. You want to know details of the wedding -- its none of your business.

Oh and I should add that two people are getting married and its interesting that the negative comments are directed at her not the BIL.... why cant MIL speak to her own DS about his wedding

@WindyRose - thank you, that is kind. I'm ok thank you, a bit sad as it was the 16th July 2018 that she passed so it's nearly the anniversary, but I'm ok.

My husband inherited a substantial sum from his grandparents. This is how we have been able to afford the 2 houses that we have despite us both having pretty average jobs. If anyone was rude enough to ask I'd tell them to fuck off.

She has a job in that she works for herself

She works tirelessly

So you do know where her money comes from.

Even your 'compartmentalizing' comments make you sound highly irritating. Good on her for turning your mil down about accepting cash. Probably because she can afford it and can see this might have strings attached. All your opinions about her no wonder shes keeping polite but distant.

Can't you just google her or
See if she's on linked in then you will know what she does for a living.

You have unrealistic expectations of this woman. Your children are not entitled to roles in her wedding and it shouldnt have been an expectation that the godchild automatically would be included either.

I pity the poor woman that she is epected to fill you in with all her private information, explain what she is doing for "her" wedding to you and include your kids because you want them included.

Honestly I have never been anything but friendly to her on the occasions that I have met her. I have never engaged with MiL when she has spoken about her.

Read back your earlier post and you will see exactly why she keeps her distance.

Did you post about her before because of older DC being involved in wedding as godchild but not younger child? Or was that another poster?

If she is going to be part of your life long term, inevitably you'll figure out where the money comes from just from general chit chat. I mean, if she works in a high income profession it might be as simple as earning good money while being single for a long time. I have a number of friends who started their careers straight from university as accountants/IT people/lawyers and now, in mid 40s, are frankly doing very well financially, even more so if they're part of a couple where both had good high income professional jobs from the get go.

I, on the other hand, started out as a journalist with a job that barely covered minimum wage and which required some financial support from my parents in the form of them paying for my car. DH worked in the arts. Now, I have a good, high paying job, but not the kind of wealth that those other friends have because when we were all in our early 20s I wasn't in a position to save/buy a house etc.

@SweetSouberry

Honestly I have never been anything but friendly to her on the occasions that I have met her. I have never engaged with MiL when she has spoken about her.

Given that you don’t appear to be close I’m not sure why your upset your children aren’t in the wedding? Seems a bit odd and entitled. It’s her Wedding. She doesn’t have to involve your MIL or accept her money. I think it’s a bit mean not to involve her but again it’s her wedding.

BlingLoving I remember that post too and the DH and older DS had key roles in the wedding and were sent expensive gifts and other DC didnt get anything. DH was hugging his older son in excitement....all very odd. Does sound like the same poster

yep same poster..... doesnt know future sil well and is clearly aggrieved that the future SIL doesnt put up with shit whereas the OP was forced to do things she didnt want to in her own wedding by MIL.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a3887946-Brother-in-law-and-Godchild?msgid=95854143#95854143

I think the future SIL has summed you up well and knows what a nosey so-and-so you are!!

Reading your posts you sound green with envy!!
Glad you're not related to me!!

Sorry you have had such horrible replies op!

It’s natural (whether people will admit it or not) to be curious about other people. Whether that is wedding plans, their career, lifestyle etc. I’d be curious too although I would never ask.

It’s understandable you would like your children to be included in their uncles wedding and even more understandable that you and mil are wondering about wedding details! There are so many misery guts on here.