Is anyone else boycotting Tesco's for giving £80,000 to Mermaids?

[loveyouradvice]

Just that really... I was shocked, especially given all the news coverage there has been about the issues recently. I would have expected them to give it to an uncontroversial charity at the very least - and ideally one that most of their customers would like to support

They clearly were a problem, otherwise they would all still be standing!

Well I definitely think the post of EllaEllaE’s that was deleted was problematic, I’ll give you that.

Bless Yawn I saw a biscuit deleted once...and that just means no comment!

Context missing here Rufus, as always

Patronising with just a "bless" or "yawn" at people's posts isn't just a case of wide eyed "there's nothing wrong with saying yawn!"
Context.
As you would well know.

I think Daisy should be given the challenge of collecting screenshots of transphobic comments. She can collate them elsewhere and link to them that way.

I think that would be a very easy way to back up one’s arguments.

That is if one wasn’t being disingenuous/wilfully obtuse (or just plain obtuse)...

But were unable to quote them when asked to back to your “transphobia“ claim

Oh FFS lol
I really don't understand what part you're having such difficulty with.

I really don't understand what part you're having such difficulty with.

Same.

@LemonadeAndDaisyChains

Bless Yawn I saw a biscuit deleted once...and that just means no comment!

Context missing here Rufus, as always

Patronising with just a "bless" or "yawn" at people's posts isn't just a case of wide eyed "there's nothing wrong with saying yawn!"
Context.
As you would well know.

Ive literally just said that posts are deleted for racism, transphobia, personal attacks ...all sorts of reasons

One assumes that yawn, bless and biscuit were considered personal attacks...as opposed to any other reasons

i didnt realise I needed to clarify that in all further posts i type

Mermaids was supported by National Lottery (£500k) last year. There were enough complaints from the public (including some who had previously been service users) to raise concern from the funders and an investigation followed. Conclusion was a recommendation for increased monitoring of the grant and further scrutiny of Mermaids operations.

The grant (delivered over 5 years) was upheld. This isn’t surprising, as if general application criteria is met (and the lottery funds an enormous range of activity) the grant can’t be withdrawn.

However their own report stated:

“it has identified some areas in which Mermaids should improve practice, governance, relationship management and quality assurance”

I have sat on the boards of several charities over many years and would consider those areas identified to be some very high risk ones, especially considering children are directly impacted - ‘practice, governance and quality assurance’ should be absolutely watertight.

So other funders are already raising issues after examining them more thoroughly.

No. If anything I'll be spending more money there just to piss you off.

Depressing to see twitter-bollocks leaking over here, pathetic claims of 'transphobia' based on nothing at all

I will boycott Tescos but I dont like them anyway and they're not local to me so it doesn't seem like a very effective protest. I will write to their head office to make a proper complaint, I hope that will carry more weight.

My point still remains

Just because a post is deleted doesn’t mean it was a phobic or ist one

Or indeed that it was a personal attack of any sort of magnitude

It’s extraordinary isn’t it, jolly?

It’s as if Kids Company never happened.

@LemonadeAndDaisyChains

Maybe because some consider it "transphobic" to say that a transwoman cannot ever be a woman

You won't see anything else, just because some people say that trans women can never be biological women?
Well, that's rational.
You're right, in they can't be biologically women. That's true, that's just basic science/biology but there's a line, that people cross that goes into outright hate.

Noo. Im gender critical but some shit is starting to wear bloody thin

Those using the GC tag to try and excuse outright bigotry and hatred of trans people
Those who think right wing bellends who hate trans people purely because they hate any difference and radical feminists are some sort of kindred spirits
The posting of preloaded stuff like this, just so people can have a pile on to any dissenter
the insane paranoia

This!! Well bloody said

This was a while ago, but seems apt to come back to it.

That is what is being called out as transphobic , talking about biology is considered transphobic, clown fish, intersex and sex being a spectrum are some of the reasons given that sex is irrelevant, so they really are a woman in every sense. (Or man)

Fairly ironic really.

(With the caveat, of course, that an individual’s comment or opinion or statement does not in any way set out the position of a whole site, nor of a whole topic, and no one speaks for me but me. We on MN/FWR are not a hive mind. So unless you can find -phobia connected to my name, and you absolutely won’t, I will vehemently reject any and all attempts to paint me with that brush. Mumsnet as an overall entity is overwhelmingly supportive and inclusive where that is legitimately warranted, just not at the expense of women’s protections in law and/or society, and not at the expense of safeguarding of children and vulnerable young people.)

@Ninkanink

(With the caveat, of course, that an individual’s comment or opinion or statement does not in any way set out the position of a whole site, nor of a whole topic, and no one speaks for me but me. We on MN/FWR are not a hive mind. So unless you can find -phobia connected to my name, and you absolutely won’t, I will vehemently reject any and all attempts to paint me with that brush. Mumsnet as an overall entity is overwhelmingly supportive and inclusive where that is legitimately warranted, just not at the expense of women’s protections in law and/or society, and not at the expense of safeguarding of children and vulnerable young people.)

This

It's depo-provera for girls that worries me. As a contraceptive in adult women, some recommend it should only be used for a maximum of two years because of the increased risk of osteoporosis.

For female humans, the teen years are crucial for bone development and eating disorders during this time are linked to early-onset osteoporosis in adulthood. Sadly, I have witnessed this in my own family with a relative who had recovered from bulimia in her teens. She was diagnosed with osteoporosis in her forties after several fractures.

I understand that in some cases puberty blocking might be the least shit choice, and I wouldn't want to declare that it should never happen, because life is complex. But by the same token, as life is complex, using depo-provera can't be assumed to be a neutral choice.

This article is American but what it describes is very much what Mermaids stands for.

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jun/15/trans-transgender-children-gender-family-project

It's written by someone who fully believes that humans can be born in the wrong body. It's published by the Guardian who, with the odd notable exception, seem to believe this too. I mention this to reassure you that there's no need to discredit the author as "anti trans" and that their words have not been compromised.

I'd really like all the people who say they support Mermaids to read this and confirm whether they are fully OK with everything that the article talks about?

Because we can't have a discussion about this extremely important topic (for a parenting website) if we don't actually know what we're discussing.

As the parent of gender non conforming child I can tell you Mermaids terrifies me. My child stands out amongst their peers. I am amazed at how much the other girls and boys at school adhere to gender stereotypes. If/when Mermaids comes to do a little presentation, my child will be the first that comes to mind for the whole school. They will literally be teaching my child's classmates that my child is of the opposite sex. They will also be instructing my child's teachers that sometimes it is not safe to tell the parents if a child wishes to ID as trans. But my child doesn't have dysphoria . Any unhappiness is with the restrictive gender box that society places all kids in, not their body. They may well be gay.

I really don't understand why we can't just let children break stereotypes and be gay without setting them on a medical pathway. I'm sure a very small minority would still choose to transition as an adult and that is of course fine.

Trying to silence a charity like mermaids is a bit like the attitudes to gay and lesbian charities as recently as 80s and 90s with section 28 - don't talk about it, keep it taboo, and ostrich like, the issue does not exist - or in the 70's, 'stranger danger' and pretend child abuse in the home doesn't happen.

All the more reason to support and spend in Tesco's as far as I'm concerned.

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but is it Mermaids that tells children that if they contact the charity for advice, an unknown adult will make first contact with that child from a withheld number.

I believe it is.

Safeguarding?? Pffft who needs that, eh.

Yet another thread feeding into the negative press that all mumsnetters are anti trans when the reality is it's a vocal minority

Yet another post dismissing all genuine concern around the damaging effects of gender stereotyping and safeguarding incompetence as bigotry.

Yes ninkanink I believe it was.

Or pretend that child abuse isnt happening via the Tavistock or mermaids themselves ...

Gay charities weren't sterilising children.
Mermaids are sterilizing gay children.

Ah yes the Tavistock Clinic...That beacon of First, do no harm.

Interesting Section 28's been brought up -
Some parts of the whole debate I see as section 28 too -
The whole "contagion" argument I've seen on here a lot (here being MN for clarity)
Don't talk to kids about being trans, don't affirm it, and if your kid sees other kids who are trans, that means they might be or are "influenced" to become trans too.
Replace the word trans with gay - how is that ever OK?