About the term 'boyfriend'

[Ijustwantedafringe36]

Light-heartedly of course.
No idea if i'm alone in this but I see the term boyfriend being thrown around a lot here to refer to older men.
Aibu to cringe at this? It just doesn't sound right

Depends on the exact relationship. I'd use boyfriend if they didn't live together and partner if they did. I'd call a boyfriend a boyfriend if they were 100!

"My spanish boyfriend (41) called me his spouse or wife to everyone. "

My Spanish lectora (type of teacher) at uni said that when she lived in Spain she never corrected people who presumed her partner was her husband. This would have been in the 90s and it was probably done for propriety's sake.

In a few European countries, it's still quite normal for people to refer to live-in partners as husband and wife in informal situations.

"My parents' generation would refer to so-and-so's friend in heavily weighted tones.

But only if they were the same sex."

Ah, no, my parents would say this of opposite sex partners as well.

I find boyfriend a bit twee infantolising to be honest at a certain point. Dp and I have been together for years , live together etc share everything so we use partners. He won't actually call me his wife but generally doesn't bother to correct when people often call me his wife. Well I tell a lie a particularly vile person made a particularly vile comment about me in a missguided attempt to make him angry and he responded with no I was actually married to someone else (it was true exdh had been separated for a very long time just hadn't got around the the divorce at the time) ...childish and he was annoyed he didnt rise above it but made him feel better to confuse the guy in the moment.

On of DP mum made a snarky smug comment about the use of partner when she had referred to us and I loved that DP usually mild mannered mum told her off for being so spiffy, she pointed out that we were much more than boyfriend and girlfriend and life partners I was bemused but impressed as she isn't one to argue.

For my two pennorth I can't imagine what it has got to do with anyone else. I call dp my partner , can't say its relevant if people assume I'm gay ,it rarely has bearing . To be honest it only gets used in the first couple of meetings and then he is his name.

'Partner' to me is fine. Its 'other half' that I hate. Yes dear, he's totally your 'other half', he's the 17th 'other half' you've had in 3 years. It sounds completely stupid at that point. Plus why do you need a man to be complete? Are you not complete on your own? I didn't realise we are only born half a person until we meet our other half.

I've had a boyfriend for over 20 years. We're not married or engaged so he remains my boyfriend.

If someone isn’t married then all they have is a boyfriend/girlfriend unless they’re engaged

That's silly. My parents have been together for 40 odd years, live together, had three kids together, now have grandchildren, but are not married or engaged. A boyfriend/girlfriend is clearly not "all they have"!

I had this dilemma before I married DH, we had been a couple for four years before we lived together and "boyfriend" didn't seem enough somehow. I used partner but would have got ripped to shreds on here I guess!

I think the term partner for any form of relationship other than business is just awful. It reminds me of a desperate woman whose boyfriend doesn't want to marry her and she is trying to make the relationship sound more committed by calling him her partner. To me, boyfriend and girlfriend sounds much more committed and serious than the very casual word 'partner'.

'If someone isn’t married then all they have is a boyfriend/girlfriend unless they’re engaged'

Jeez, such snobbery

I have a partner. 15 years together. People generally refer to him as my 'hubby' or 'other half', neither of which I would ever use but whatever. If I had a new man in my life, I would probably call him 'my bloke'. Boyfriend/ girlfriend just sounds weird to me when the pair of you are over 40!

'Fiance/ fiancee ' gives me a full body cringe

'It reminds me of a desperate woman whose boyfriend doesn't want to marry her and she is trying to make the relationship sound more committed by calling him her partner's

Wow, that says A LOT about you!

I saw companion dismissed a way back in this thread, but I think it has some merit, tbh

We need a new word, obviously. How about a very old one? Apparently Shakespeare used the word "feere".

I call mine my male companion we watched Friday night dinner together and it started as a joke but has now kind of stuck...

My boyfriends from Sweden so he would say we are ‘sambo’ but you obviously can’t use that outside of Sweden due to it being a derrogatory word for someone who is black or mixed race.

There is no perfect word. The only solution is for everyone to get married by 25, never divorce and, goodness knows what we do about those who are widowed.

I understand what you mean but it’s the best of the suitable alternatives currently used.

A person, I'm in a relationship with? Male companion? Manfriend?
I personally call him by first name if needed. I'm sure they'll figure out our relationship if needed.

Boyfriendis not optimal, but I feel like partner and significan other is something that comes later and people inrroducing someone as their partner after 2 months seems a bit weid to me

I am in my 50s and everyone I know uses the term boyfriend to describe someone they are dating exclusively.

Partner sounds like you are in a business relationship.

Other half sounds like you don't consider yourself a complete person unless in a romantic relationship.

I agree with this YABU. If someone isn’t married then all they have is a boyfriend/girlfriend unless they’re engaged

Just don't Google synonyms for it

If someone isn’t married then all they have is a boyfriend/girlfriend unless they’re engaged At which point they have, as my Nana would have said, an affianced personage!

It drives me crazy when people use partner for someone they are dating. Partner means that you are in a long-term, committed relationship with financial commitment. It’s the word that is used to say you are basically married, but for whatever reason don’t have a piece of paper from the government.

For anyone picking up on my comment about just boyfriend/girlfriend unless they’re engaged, it’s true.

It’s my personal opinion that you’re not properly committed or in a true relationship unless your married, regardless of the number of years you’ve been together.

If you can’t or won’t take that step I just don’t think it’s real.

Onestepup
My parents' generation would refer to so-and-so's friend in heavily weighted tones.
But only if they were the same sex.

This. Complete with a raised eyebrow and smirk if you're my dad

I’m 51 and I call mine my gentleman caller but I snigger a bit because I’m really mature

Or I peter out and go, “This is my...Dave...”

@heartsonacake PMSL not real without marriage, utter codswallop.

I tried marriage once against my better judgement and I won't be doing it again. Perhaps that means I'm not completely committed to my partner, but I'd rather protect my assets and my children's future inheritance than risk it all/ half of it to make it "real" in someone else's opinion.