About the term 'boyfriend'

[Ijustwantedafringe36]

Light-heartedly of course.
No idea if i'm alone in this but I see the term boyfriend being thrown around a lot here to refer to older men.
Aibu to cringe at this? It just doesn't sound right

I'm in my 40s and would love to find a boyfriend. Wouldn't worry about the 'boy' part of the word at all, it obviously doesn't mean young boy.
Gentleman friend sounds over 60!

Obviously, if I was just going out with someone he wouldn't be my partner or OH or significant other unless we'd been together for a very long time or were living together.

I've noticed people on MN using FWB for what is actually a boyfriend, i.e. not just a sex arrangement but someone they go out on dates with, so some people seem to go straight from FWB to partner just to avoid the word boyfriend.

@bitofasleuth

To me, the word 'partner' means either one of a couple in a single-sex relationship, or people who are running a business as a partnership.

Are you American? Because partner's been very commonly used in the UK for a husband/wife type relationship since the 90s at least.

I much prefer boyfriend to partner, regardless of age.

I referred to my dh as my boyfriend until we were married - hated 'partner' and 'fiancé' - both felt too formal.

It is ridiculous to refer to a new boyfriend as a partner.

Partner would suggest more commitment than boyfriend
FB/FWB would suggest no commitment.
Gentleman friend makes you sound over 70
Lover makes you sound tacky
Husband Bessie your married is just weird.

Hi, this is my manfriend Derek
Hi, this is my forevermore sex companion Derek
Hi, this is my new true love Derek

I found out recently that DP calls me his wife at work and on their official emergency contact form.

I think it's a bit 'off', to be honest. I'd rather be GF or partner when we're not married. But not enough to mention it to him.

The thing is if you say partner on here and you don’t live together you get told off and told that he is your boyfriend not partner same if you haven’t been together long so what else are you suppose to refer to them as??

I hate the term boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter, when the people in question are over 35, have children together, own a house together, have been together for over 10 years.

"I found out recently that DP calls me his wife at work and on their official emergency contact form.

I think it's a bit 'off', to be honest. I'd rather be GF or partner when we're not married. But not enough to mention it to him."

This is used to be very common before partner became more popular and when living together was still not universally accepted. The old common law husband/wife thing (which I know is not any kind of legal status).

@Gwenhwyfar

"I found out recently that DP calls me his wife at work and on their official emergency contact form.

I think it's a bit 'off', to be honest. I'd rather be GF or partner when we're not married. But not enough to mention it to him."

This is used to be very common before partner became more popular and when living together was still not universally accepted. The old common law husband/wife thing (which I know is not any kind of legal status).

Yeah, he's probably the World's Crappiest Catholic. I suppose that might have something to do with it. That and the reason we aren't married is that rent, bills and replacing knackered household appliances come in as higher priority than a sparkly ring and a registry office, I guess.

I use partner at work, apart from that I tend to use boyfriend.

It’s just a word. Anything else just sounds so contrived.

Oh, I've had the same conversation with my other half numerous times. I'd like him to refer to himself as my disciple but he's settled for calling me his queen 😂

As pp have said, you only need to use the generic term once then afterwards refer to them by name. I would use 'The man/chap/woman I'm seeing, (their name) ' or 'current squeeze'

My spanish boyfriend (41) called me his spouse or wife to everyone. I called him my boyfriend as he was younger than me and it just came naturally, oddly.

My ‘boyfriend’ is 6ft 4 and nearly 50. He’s definitely not a boy!!! But we haven’t discussed a life together so he’s not my partner. My Dad would call him my squeeze!! My next door neighbour calls him my friend with a heavy lean on the word. He refers to me as his friend with no eyebrow waggling. His mate and his parents call me his lady friend.

No term is good. He’s my friend with whom I have sex. I think I’ll refer to him as that in future 🤗

I do think 'partner' implies a level of commitment that a couple in a newish relationship might not want to make, and that boyfriend/girlfriend is best when the parties are under 40.

My children are still young enough to have boyfriends. In the unlikely event that I was ever in this position myself, I think I'd just use the word 'friend' and let people draw their own conclusions!

I do think 'partner' implies a level of commitment that a couple in a newish relationship might not want to make, and that boyfriend/girlfriend is best when the parties are under 40.

My children are still young enough to have boyfriends. In the unlikely event that I was ever in this position myself, I think I'd just use the word 'friend' and let people draw their own conclusions!

It is a bit odd when they are middle aged! But until you get to the stage where it's serious I'm not sure what term you use and partner isn't a very romantic term as I associate it with business more. It's lack of a better term i suppose

@Onestepup

My parents' generation would refer to so-and-so's friend in heavily weighted tones.

But only if they were the same sex.

A certain contingent of mners gets very snooty about the unmarried and insists on referring to them as boyfriend/girlfriend (see heartsonacake for an example). That's the only context in which I frequently see it used on here.

Partner/OH is fine for me..

Boyfriend is fine, whatever age they may be. It's been a term used for years and years. It sounds nicer than Man friend. Partner is usually used, when the relationship has progressed to another level of being more serious.

@EmperorCovidula

What are you supposed to call them? Your gentleman caller? Your older-man friend? Sexual companion?

I like gentleman caller, thanks for the suggestion.

Mine is "the bloke I'm seeing".
48 and 54, 2 years in, don't live together, both view the relationship as lasting.

My hairdresser once told me she had a client who often talked about “my partner, woman’s name” then got a surprise when the client mentioned going on holiday with her husband. It turned out that the woman partner and the client ran a florist together.

I say partner. My DP says that when I say that people will assume I am a lesbian and am referring to my female life partner.

Someone at his work referred to me as wife/partner. And he was like "no, girlfriend" then he came in and said he wondered if this person thought he was gay.

He really is a dick. I reminded him she said wife first and partner is the word that normal people use to refer to a significant other to which they are not married. He still didn't believe me.

We are too old and been together too long to be bf and gf. 😫