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Original poster

Husbands Farting and What to Do

160 replies

CatchTheCulprit · 04/07/2020 23:41

I have reached the end of my tether and find my Husband's farting repulsive. I have moaned and nagged and begged him to stop forcing one out as I find it revolting. He finds it funny. The state of his pants and shorts tell the tale and the other week he farted and followed through on the sofa. I know farting is a natural bodily function but FFS enough is enough. I don't know what to do to get through to him that this is just not on anymore.
Has he no respect? Is this the way he's been brought up or does he simply not care about my feelings? And don't ask me about cleaning the skid marks off the toilet every day. What the fuck do I do?

OP posts:
MiddlesexGirl · 04/07/2020 23:43

I've never understood why some people find this funny. Though I guess it's a way of hiding their embarrassment.
Vile habit.

AbsolutePleasure · 04/07/2020 23:45

When did this start? It sounds like he has a health issue. Could the laughing be in embarrassment? can you get him to agree to see a doctor?

As the the shitty toilet and underpants - why are you cleaning them?

tiredmum29 · 04/07/2020 23:46

God, how disgusting. No advice but I would totally feel the same.

DarrellRiversTuckBox · 04/07/2020 23:46

The state of his pants and shorts tell the tale and the other week he farted and followed through on the sofa.

I simply couldn't live with this. Unless he has a medical condition tell the filthy prick to stop it or find somewhere else to live.

Grim.

Topseyt · 04/07/2020 23:46

Farting is funny. Less so the following through though.

Topseyt · 04/07/2020 23:48

He should consider seeing his GP. He might have some dietary intolerances.

2020iscancelled · 04/07/2020 23:50

Unless it was medical or something he simply couldn’t control then this would be a deal breaker for me.

You can’t fancy someone when you have to clean their shitty pants!!!!!

Ok a grotty loo is sometimes part of a relationship and you throw a bit of bleach down and silently curse them.

But cleaning the PURPOSEFULLY shitty pants of a grown man? Jesus no.

He’s not even just farting is he - sounds like he’s got an issue here, he’s not cleaning himself properly or going to the loo properly. Has he expressed any worry about it?

It seems a trivial thing to end a relationship over but it’s not is it - it’s a grown man refusing to wipe his arse properly and laughing about it Confused

snowybean · 04/07/2020 23:50

Next time he leaves skid marks in the toilet (fucking revolting), drag his ass to the loo and shove his face down there.

Honestly, that's awful. Sorry, OP.

Sunnytimesahead · 04/07/2020 23:52

This sounds vile. As others have said could it be a medical problem that the GP could advise on?
The toilet situation is difficult because you need to use it too so it needs to be cleaned after he’s used it. But immediately stop washing his clothes specifically his underpants. Does he realise about the skid marks?
Could you be creative with his skiddy pants (with industrial gloves on), gather up a selection of them and make them into some kind of revolting art installation. Place it in his man cave if he has one and see if that makes him see the error of his ways?!

Cherrysoup · 04/07/2020 23:54

No way would I be cleaning up after him, send him to do it every time. Disgusting. 🤮

AnimalCrossing · 04/07/2020 23:54

He sounds disgusting...he shat himself on your sofa. He would be my ex husband.

foreverandalways · 04/07/2020 23:54

May I firstly Thankyou for making my evening..I am currently wiping away the tears from my eyes typing this....I think your husband needs to look at his diet....he needs lessons on how to clean the toilet after himself and also be made to wash his own skid marks off his underwear.....your poor soul, my heart goes out to you

saraclara · 04/07/2020 23:54

Is this farting and following through (and messy toilet) relatively new?

I never know whether to say things like this to a stranger on a forum, but after months of the same things happening with him, my husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer.

Original poster
CatchTheCulprit · 05/07/2020 00:03

Oh God - I hope not rectal cancer otherwise I will hate myself for posting. This has gone on for years. His mum would fart in front of me, his Dad would openly loudly fart (on the same sofa - think it's time to get rid of the sofa TBH) and not even acknowledge it - he'd just carry on with the conversation. I can't file for divorce citing 'Out of Control Farting' but it's awful and so unattractive. How do I get through to him without sounding like a prude. He obviously doesn't care or have any shame.

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 05/07/2020 00:04

You clean his shitty skidders off his pants and the toilet everyday? What the hell op!! Stop doing that right now, you're not a mother to a 3 year old this man is your husband ffs.

And him forcing himself to fart and going ahead and curling one out on the sofa...i don't really have the words for this. Surely you're not having sex with this pig!

He needs to clean up his act (literally).

Kittykat93 · 05/07/2020 00:06

And that's coming from someone who finds farts quite funny usually.. But even I would never be that gross or disrespectful to my partner.

saraclara · 05/07/2020 00:08

The family habit and it having gone on for years makes anything scary a lot less likely then.
Obviously my husband didn't find it funny because it was something that happened for about six months in his 50s, having been able to control his farts (and never having skid marks) in all that time. And the uncontrolled farts could happen anywhere, which was obviously embarrassing. If your husband can save them for when he's on the sofa at home, it's unlikely to be worrying.
Sorry to scare you.

Goslowlysideways · 05/07/2020 00:09

I just don’t know what to say!!!

ExhaustedBeyondBelief · 05/07/2020 00:10

Farting isnt so bad

Following through is , well, just 💩

NoSquirrels · 05/07/2020 00:11

Just tell him, in no uncertain terms - I find this repulsive.

If anyone needs to follow through, it’s you - lea e him if he can’t change. And stop cleaning his shitty pants. He can do that.

Evelefteden · 05/07/2020 00:11

Leave.

Honestly do you still find him attractive after that?

WeAllHaveWings · 05/07/2020 00:11

We both let the odd one slip out occasionally with a oops sorry and a grin, but forcing out for comic effect when you know your partner finds it vile, skid marks and following through are revolting. I wouldnt put up with it.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/07/2020 00:11

Everybody farts. And farts can be incredibly funny. I can't help to giggle.

But he isn't farting! He shat himself on a sofa 😳

There is a saying:
Marriage is like a fart. If you have to push it, it's usually shit. Unless he has medical issues he shouldn't be regularly sharting himself

VodselForDinner · 05/07/2020 00:12

Interesting first post, OP Hmm

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/07/2020 00:13

There was supposed to be space between marriage saying and the medical bit😂