Husbands Farting and What to Do

[CatchTheCulprit]

I have reached the end of my tether and find my Husband's farting repulsive. I have moaned and nagged and begged him to stop forcing one out as I find it revolting. He finds it funny. The state of his pants and shorts tell the tale and the other week he farted and followed through on the sofa. I know farting is a natural bodily function but FFS enough is enough. I don't know what to do to get through to him that this is just not on anymore.
Has he no respect? Is this the way he's been brought up or does he simply not care about my feelings? And don't ask me about cleaning the skid marks off the toilet every day. What the fuck do I do?

[MsEllany]

I’m a child that finds farting hilarious - but it’s not remotely funny when you’re squeezing one out not only on purpose but also knowing it really upsets your other half. And shitting yourself?! I don’t really have words for that. That’s happened to me once, I was heavily pregnant and also very ill. I was mortified.

You probably can’t cite farting on a divorce petition - but you can cite irrevocable differences - and in this case, there’s no point being married to someone that makes you feel sick to be around.

I would genuinely tell him that. If you can, move into the spare room as you find him disgusting and be very clear that it’s this issue that is going to cause the irretrievable breakdown of your marriage.

If it wasn’t for your comment about the mum and dad doing it I’d think you were married to an ex boyfriend of mine. He also used to do this, and would also pick his arsehole and sniff his crusty fingers and of course not wash his hands. Absolutely vile.

[Weenurse]

Changing what is available to eat may help.
Unfortunately my DH thinks farting in bed is hilarious.
His DF thinks fart jokes are the best, does not understand that this is not the case in other families.

[Disquieted1]

Has he stuck out his pinkie and asked you to "Pull that finger"?
If not you've still got quite a way to go in the farting stakes.

[LillianBland]

You haven’t actually answered, but I’m going to assume you’re new, since you don’t acknowledge the poo troll. It doesn’t actually matter if he has an underlying health problem, as he’s deliberately passing wind while with you, even though you hate it.

Laughter and fun is a very important part of a relationship, but only if both parties find the situation funny. If one person finds something funny, at the expense of another, then that’s bullying. If someone is deliberately doing something on a regular basis that causes another person to have a feeling of fear, distress, worthlessness or even revulsion, then that starts to cross the line of abuse. My ex partner enjoyed doing things to cause me discomfort and humiliation and that’s why he’s my ex. My late husband would never have deliberately inflicted those feelings on me and spent our marriage making me feel respected and worthy of love and that’s one of the reasons I had such respect and love for him. What kind of relationship do you want to settle for?

[Cornetto69]

@CatchTheCulprit am sorry, But I'm goign to have the question 90% of mumsnet wants to know the answer to. Does your husband snap before farting?

(sorry I couldn't resist)

[Namechanged127865]

@Cornetto69

I have IBS and fart all this time. Never shit my pants though. Even though it happens 20 times a day I still apologise to my Dp if its in front of him or in bed. Tbh sometimes the apology is hard to get out through the laughter in certain situations.

He sounds grim though, forcing it out on purpose and leaving you to clean up his mess (100% not envy).

Give him 1 chance to change his behaviour and if he doesn't then out the door he goes.

[MashedSpud]

Buy him some poo pants.

Show him his shit stains, point at them and say “clean it”.

Make him buy a new sofa.

[laidbacklife]

That’s revolting. And the “following through”... What’s all that about?? That is not actually normal. He should really seek medical advice about that.

[lottiegarbanzo]

Stop cleaning up after him, for a start!

[SteelyPanther]

I believe a no fault divorce is on its way. Good news for lots of people.

[megrichardson]

I had an ex who used to do this, although not so much with the follow through. I was made to feel as if I couldn't take a joke if I said anything. It was a minor but significant reason among the many reasons why I left him. I know it sometimes can't be helped but to keep doing it on purpose to annoy someone else is uncouth and dirty.

[GotOutOfBedOnTheWrongSide]

I don't mind my DP farting infront of me at all. I can't imagine making him leave the room everytime he farts in his own home but...If either of us have eaten anything that makes our wind smell disgusting then it's expected that you go to the toilet as no one should have to put up with another person's smell!

As for the skid marks and shitty underpants, just ask him how he would feel if he went to the toilet and you'd left it a mess after a particularly heavy period. How would he feel if he had to clear that up? That should make him think about what he is expecting you to do everyday.

[LakieLady]

Farting is funny. Less so the following through though

I find farting funny, too. I have a very childish sense of humour.
And let's face it, everyone farts. If I held my farts in, I'd look like a Michelin man.

The "following through" is not normal though, and he needs to see a doctor if he's basically shitting himself when he farts.

[TheresABearInThere]

Farting constantly is eww, but sharting is crap

[Villanemme]

Why isn't it worthy of divorce? It's showing utter disrespect for you.

[StopGo]

Sounds like he is incontinent. He needs to see his doctor as there can be serious issues. Meanwhile he cleans his own mess and clothes. He has no respect for you. My DH had colon cancer which caused some unpleasant issues but he never expected anyone else to clean up after him.

[HowzAboutThisThen]

Your first point when you talk to him has to you are no longer doing his washing. He can buy a separate wash bin as you won't handle his clothes.

[Tdaadfb100]

Yes. But him some Tenna Lady (Man) or some of those charcoal pants that hold in the smell. That may shame him into thinking about his foul behaviour.

[NewKittyMeow]

Farting is fine. Sharting is not.

[DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon]

The problem doesnt seem to be farting, its that he is repeatedly shitting himself

Do most people shite themelves when they fart? Surely he needs to see dr

Assuming no medical conditions, its fairly obvious why you find a grown man repeatedly, and seemingly on purpose shitting themselves unattractive.

[DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon]

The first step is you stop cleaning his clothes. If he makes a mess in the toilet, tell him and get him to clean it.

Most people grow out of needing someone to wipe their shit for them at about 4.

[Spied]

Next time any of his friends or family are about to visit I'd line his vile shorts along the radiators

[FloreanFortescue]

That would be the end for me. He sounds completely repulsive. Are you attracted to him?

[Glitteryone]

I’m crying actual tears at this!!!!

Sorry OP I know it’s not funny for you.

Reading your comments about his mum and dad farting on your sofa too mid conversation, I suspect it’s just how he’s been brought up.

You need to tell him how it makes you feel and if he’s not willing to change you need to either put up with it or divorce him.