Husbands Farting and What to Do

[CatchTheCulprit]

I have reached the end of my tether and find my Husband's farting repulsive. I have moaned and nagged and begged him to stop forcing one out as I find it revolting. He finds it funny. The state of his pants and shorts tell the tale and the other week he farted and followed through on the sofa. I know farting is a natural bodily function but FFS enough is enough. I don't know what to do to get through to him that this is just not on anymore.
Has he no respect? Is this the way he's been brought up or does he simply not care about my feelings? And don't ask me about cleaning the skid marks off the toilet every day. What the fuck do I do?

[Blobby10]

CatchTheCulprit my ExH used to think farting was hilarious when we first married as it was how his family had always behaved - the women too! The turning point for him was when I gave him some homeopathic/herbal remedy that a vet had recommended to stop a horse farting (surprisingly it did actually work!) and I think it shook him up that his 'loving' wife would compare him to a horse.

Farting and the resulting/associated follow throughs and skid marks is a perfectly reasonable cause for divorce given the upset and distress it causes you.
I wish you lots of luck getting him to change his ways

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Revolting...

Only once did I wash shitty clothes... And that was when OH was being horribly ill.

It's disgusting....

Just stop... Stop cleaning his clothes /toilet... Put him on notice that if it's not stopped within a time... You'll escalate... Whatever that means for you? (leave for a few days /start divorce proceedings....

[Mittens030869]

Your DH sounds very much like my DB, who we used to have to stay occasionally. The house literally stank when he was staying here. He did the exact same things your DH does, though he doesn't laugh about it. He does have serious MH issues so we made allowances, but then he became aggressive towards our DDs, and they were scared of him, so we no longer have him here.

I couldn't imagine being married to someone who does that, it was bad enough when it was 2-3 days.

[CallmeAngelina]

Who the hell are all these people on here who think farting is funny?!
What are you all, 12?!

[MsPeeWee]

You can buy him from Boots The Chemist and Supermarkets...

TENA MEN - they are selling pants and pads with the advertising words “Keep Control”.

You should buy some and give them to
Be him when he come home.

If he is really is having this problem keeping clean then this might be helping him.

If he is just sick slob then buying him will embarrass him to change!!!

Do it today!!!

[crumpet]

Does he do this at work, or when socialising with friends? Or only at home?

If the latter then he clearly has more control. And if he is not choosing to exercise that control when with you/at home, it’s not a medical issue it’s a DH issue.

[Bonniegirlie]

I would stop doing ANY of his washing to start with. He sounds revolting. Recently I had to make a fuss to my DH because he does REALLY loud burps which revolt me. I told him it was disrespectful and he said he has to burp,. I said yes, but not at that volume and he wouldn't do it in frontof X Y or Z friends/family so how about affording me that respect too? And he has stopped, finally I got through to him saying that. Ask him if he would be happy shitting his pants in front of other people? Good luck

[SteelyPanther]

His behaviour is very disrespectful to you.
You need to consider if this is how you want to live for the rest of your life.
You deserve better.

[Emeraldshamrock]

Good for you. I think it is very disrespectful I hope he sorts himself out.

[hamstersarse]

I do know someone who divorced on similar grounds. Unreasonable behaviour.

No one needs this shit in their lives.

[BurtsBeesKnees]

I fart a lot! But I do try and keep them to the bathroom and wouldn't force them and have never followed through! Reading your posts has made me feel slightly sick. Do you have two toilets in the house? If you do then I'd say to him that his is x toilet and he's responsible for cleaning it, same with his pants, nope, pile them up and leave it n his side of the bed.

Above all else, need to speak to him op

[Russellbrandshair]

Good for you OP!
You aren’t being at all unreasonable and you deserve better than this for the rest of your life.
Good luck!

[snitzelvoncrumb]

Obviously first try to have a conversation about it, I would leave any dirty underwear for him to wash. I apologise if my suggestion is a bit gross, but would you forgetting to flush when its your time of the month bother him? Maybe making him feel uncomfortable in his own home might get the point across. Another suggestion is buy him continence underwear for men in place of his underwear.

[anxietyaunt]

My commiserations, OP. I have nothing to add. Just take these. Please.

[Mixedandproud]

I’m very glad to hear you won’t be putting up with it OP. What do you intend to do going forward?
Does your DH have any redeeming traits and can you see the marriage moving forward if you can get this awful issue resolved?

[CatchTheCulprit]

@MadameMeursault please don't worry!! Reading back on my posts it could sound made up and meant for comedy effect but it really isn't. It's my real life and just awful to be living with. But thank you for taking the time to apologise - much appreciated.

[CatchTheCulprit]

Have been thinking about this all day. Maybe he's not bothered about how I feel and the fact that we don't sleep together anymore. Maybe he's doing this to make me leave him. I just don't know - I'd be mortified to leave the toilet like that - I always check before I leave it just in case. But if that ever happened to my pants (it hasn't) I'd throw them in the washing machine before they'd be found. No I think he think's this is quite normal as he knows that they'll always get washed and the loo always cleaned. Well people - after reading these replies I've now got a backbone and I'm not putting up with it anymore. Thanks for all the YANBU votes - they have given me strength!! I was really worried in case I got a lot of YABU - 'accidents happen', 'stop being such a prude' and 'My DH does this regularly but we married for a reason and we love each other' blah blah blah. But not being able to discuss this IRL for obvious reasons you have really helped me. Thank you again.

[MadameMeursault]

OP I’ve come back to your thread because I feel so bad for accusing you of being a poo troll (really those people do exist on here) and I am really sorry. Your situation sounds awful.

Your husband needs to realise that this isn’t normal and it’s a really disrespectful way to treat his DW. Whether this means showing him this thread, sitting down and having it out with him, or getting outside help I don’t know. But you can’t carry on like this. Perhaps the first step is the GP to check out his bowels? Your husband can’t be happy with the situation surely?

[ladybirdsarelovely33]

OP, was he always like this- before you married him?
Has lockdown cabin fever made things worse?

[1WildTeaParty]

He knows that this distresses you but carried on?

Even if your reaction wasn't a perfectly reasonable one, he should care that you are upset.

If he loves you, then of course he should clean-up and not expect you to deal with his shit. The toilet and his pants are his business. Please stop dealing with them unless he is too ill to cope.

It does sound as if some food he eats regularly disagrees with him. This happens and if it has gone on since childhood, he won't be aware that it isn't normal. People I know react badly to dairy products. Others are affected by oats or beans. Another person I know really can't eat gluten. (They all clean up after themselves and have all worked out what foods to avoid in order to stop the farting etc.)

Do you want to stay with him?

[Forgivenandsetfree]

what did you/he say when he did that on the sofa?
i think i would first of all, ask him, do you think you might have a medical condtion thats causing this? if he says no, i just find it funny, i would actually bring him a pair of his shit stained underpants (preferably on a stick) and just say something like , do you find this funny then do you? because i find it revolting. if it's so funny to you, lets show your mates what you leave me with, along with a picture of the toilet he leaves you behind. it is so disrespectful to you, especially when you've asked him if he has checked the toilet ( presumably he says yes?) and its still such a mess. revolting, i can't believe he would rather shit himself than have you share a bed with him, my condolences to you, but i think it may be over already :(
please let us know how it goes x

[Emeraldshamrock]

Jut to clarify - he doesn't actually deliberately do a proper poo on the sofa it's farting and following through with runny stuff
Yes but he takes the risk known well he has a risk of a leaking, he's a grown man ffs he needs to sort out his diet, learn the difference between the feeling of wind or shit if there is any chance it is the latter go to the bathroom he is risking it out of sheer laziness.
If this is real I'm horrified.

[Skysblue]

Ugh. What everybody else said. Just wanted to add that stuff like gluten intolerance can cause frequent farting. Maybe buy him a load of gluten free food and tellhim you’re trying to help with his toilet problems.

[Boredinthehouse]

It’s all shits and giggles until someone shits and giggles