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Original poster

Husbands Farting and What to Do

160 replies

CatchTheCulprit · 04/07/2020 23:41

I have reached the end of my tether and find my Husband's farting repulsive. I have moaned and nagged and begged him to stop forcing one out as I find it revolting. He finds it funny. The state of his pants and shorts tell the tale and the other week he farted and followed through on the sofa. I know farting is a natural bodily function but FFS enough is enough. I don't know what to do to get through to him that this is just not on anymore.
Has he no respect? Is this the way he's been brought up or does he simply not care about my feelings? And don't ask me about cleaning the skid marks off the toilet every day. What the fuck do I do?

OP posts:
Happynow001 · 05/07/2020 08:39

Ugh! If I was in this position one of us would be sleeping in the spare room (do you have one?) and I'd also stop washing his disgusting pants and everything else. I wonder how funny he'd find that?

Also hard (IMO) to find someone like this physically attractive to actually want to have sex with them.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/07/2020 08:42

My family decided to all have a go at low carb and the side effect of it was - no farting.
Opposite effect on everyone I know😂 The complaints were hysterical😂

Are you sure? I am sure I recall that exact phraseology in an ancient Chinese proverb
😂😂😂
Proverb with a caveat😂

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 05/07/2020 08:44

You say to him ' I find farting and skid marks repulsive and it makes me not fancy you or want sex with you, so sort it out'. Then you refuse to wash his pants and point out the skids, if he left them he cleans them. FFS you are not his slave! If he doesn't make some changes fast then I seriously would consider the relationship. It's not about the farting perse it's about the lack of respect.

MaeDanvers · 05/07/2020 08:47

What I don’t get is why on earth you’re cleaning the loo and his shitty pants? If it were me I’d be using a stick to pick them up and leave them on his pillow. See how funny he thinks it is then.

Gogogadgetarms · 05/07/2020 08:50

the other week he farted and followed through on the sofa
Oh hell no.
This is ‘unreasonable behaviour’ if you need grounds for divorce.
I get that some people find farting funny and others don’t. That’s reasonably normal. It’s the following through, dirty pants and toilet mess that’s the real issue here. Just a total lack of respect for you.

I hate the phrase ‘give him an ultimatum’ but that sounds where you are at. Either this stops or he goes. He doesn’t do this at work does he, or in a restaurant or when you first started seeing each other? So he must be able to control it - he choses not to around you.

And separate out the laundry. And as someone else said, interrupt him to show him the toilet and tell (not ask) him to clean it. Every time.

Eddielzzard · 05/07/2020 08:50

You've got to stop cleaning it up. Difficult if you only have one loo tho - how many do you have? Don't wash his clothes. Force him to deal with his shit. That might spur him on to deal with it.

Presumably you knew he was always like this tho?

Standrewsschool · 05/07/2020 08:56

Is he milk intolerant? That can cause farting symptoms. Possibly his whole family are. Can you get him to agree to change from cows milk to soya milk, cut out cheese etc, and see if that improves the situation.

If that doesn’t work, maybe get him tested for coeliac disease.

TowelHoarder · 05/07/2020 09:11

But he’s not farting is he, he’s shitting himself.

My DH farts sometimes and gets up and opens the window but he never has skiddies in his underwear or follows through.

I guess it’s a bit drastic but I’m not sure I could stay married to someone who was shutting themselves and didn’t think it was a problem.

Emeraldshamrock · 05/07/2020 09:15

How to feck could anyone fart if there was even a tiny chance of shitting your pants.
I've never seen shit marks in DP's underwear or a mess left behind in the toilet in 15 years your DH is gross. Possible poo fetish going on.

TypingoftheDead · 05/07/2020 09:18

I’m someone who finds farts immensely funny, but I still apologise in case I offend anyone around me - sometimes you just can’t help but let one rip! But I really feel for you here. Sounds a lot more like disrespectful behaviour than a medical condition, based on what you said about his parents.
I’m afraid if he doesn’t start being more considerate of your feelings, you wouldn’t be at all unreasonable to consider splitting up with him. It’s the implied “fuck you” that’s the real issue here, not the farting itself.

Zeroenergy · 05/07/2020 09:20

Does he still expect you to find him sexually attractive? He sounds like a wild ape.
Sorry but it sounds grotesque and I really feel for you. I hate people farting in my personal space, it’s violating and disgusting especially when you’ve said you’re unhappy about it. I don’t see why people find it so funny. Whatever you decide to do about this, YANBU for finding it vile behaviour.

LakieLady · 05/07/2020 09:21

Buy him some of these OP, and throw all his other pants away.

www.ageukincontinence.co.uk/shopbybrand/attends-incontinence-products/attends-pull-ons.html

It might just shock him into realising shitting your pants is not normal and not funny.

Misskittyfantastico85 · 05/07/2020 09:23

It's not fun OP, but I'm in the same place as @saraclara

My husband suddenly started farting and finding it funny (which I think was to hide embarrasment) when he followed through at work one day I insisted he saw his GP because in my eyes it's not normal and he was eventually diagnosed with bowel cancer. The farting was caused by the blockage

Weenurse · 05/07/2020 09:25

Tena for men is a good idea.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 05/07/2020 09:29

I fart like a bastard since delivery of dc2 took 6.5 hours. Its funny sometimes but Ive never sharted as a result. We all leave skidmarks in the loo sometimes but then we clean it straight afterwards. Hes being utterly vile. Have you told him how much you are beginning to resent him?

Tanfastic · 05/07/2020 09:29

Buy him a pack of nappies and a loo brush and never and I mean never clean his skidders off the loo again. Tell him you find the forced out farts revolting and a turn off and don't laugh whilst you say it as hell think you are joking, needs a serious face.

If it carries in, seriously I'd consider ending my marriage as I wouldn't be able to shag someone with this revolting habit.

Tanfastic · 05/07/2020 09:32

I think by the responses op you realise that normal behaviour in a healthy marriage is that you both fart but neither forces it out and thinks it's funny to shit them self at the same time and leave skidders in their pants for their spouse to clean.

If he has a medical condition then you need to get to the bottom of it (no pun intended)

Cosyjimjamsforautumn · 05/07/2020 09:37

He has bowel incontinence and needs to see his GP to find the cause. Seriously. My DF had bowel cancer and first symptoms were foul farts, incontinence and bleeding.
He also needs to clean his own skidmarks off the loo after himself

Hedgehog44 · 05/07/2020 09:38

We love a fart in this house but oh bless you, he sounds disgusting. It's one thing not being embarrassed about your wind but eeeeeeew..... Don't wash any more pants. Actually don't do anything for him ever. He is vile. Change the locks!!!!!

Bananalanacake · 05/07/2020 09:41

Does he have the decency to look embarrassed when he follows through

Original poster
CatchTheCulprit · 05/07/2020 12:38

Yes, I've asked him countless times to check the toilet bowl because by the time I use it, he's already gone to work and the shit marks are hardened so I have to scrub them off with the brush. I just can't leave it until he gets back because it makes me feel sick. I've woken up this morning feeling really worn down by it all. I did read him bits of the 'ShoutSneezing Husband' post who was doing his wife's head in and he seems to have stopped doing such loud ridiculous sneezes now so I suppose that's one thing dealt with. I don't think it's health related as he did have some surgery for piles which didn't pick up anything sinister. He's done this farting/soiling his pants for years and years pre and post pile operation. Thanks for all your replies - it is funny to some, I can see that, but then it get's to a point where enough is enough and he has become repulsive to me.

OP posts:
saraclara · 05/07/2020 12:42

He'd be repulsive to me, too.

If he can't see that he's having that effect on you - or can see it but refuses to change, then I can't see a way forward.
What would he say if you told him you were thinking of ending the marriage over this?

Chewy85 · 05/07/2020 12:49

I don’t normally advocate humiliating someone, but I feel like threatening to display his dirty underpants to the world or take pictures of the loo might make him realise how awful this is for you?

If he’s relishing making you clean up his shit then he’s not a very nice person though OP.

dayslikethese1 · 05/07/2020 12:52

So he's shitting himself regularly? Does he have something wrong with him? That's not normal. Tell him to use a loo brush and wash his own pants. And see a doctor.

EmbarrassedUser · 05/07/2020 12:54

I agreed with you right up until the end when you said you were cleaning his skiddies. Why? You can’t really moan if you’re happy to clean up after him.