13 year old with underarm hair

[scunner]

What do mums advise for a 13 year old girl with quite a lot of underarm hair. Not fine and fair, but dark and wiry. Should I find a cream to remove it? She is very self conscious. Any suggestions would be most welcome.

[Goatinthegarden]

Why do your friends only shave legs in winter when no one can see? If they are comfortable with their body hair why not display it?

Presumably for the same reason as some people put on different clothes for a party than what they would wear to clean the bathroom on a Sunday morning. Or get a holiday haircut or fake tan or buy a new mascara.

It’s not for everybody, but people have an image of how they would like to look and they go for it. I don’t find removing body hair to be a massive chore. I feel confident and happy with a smooth, hair free body and that’s my right as much as it’s your right to not remove hair.

I don’t wear much make up, I find putting it on a chore and I don’t like the feeling of my skin being covered up like that...but I don’t judge people who want to wear lots.

[Woofer18]

@Ohtherewearethen where did I say that all women should not shave? Scroll back. I did not say that ANYWHERE.

What I am saying is that women should have the option to go out in public and not shave, and not feel shamed.

I see my own teenage nieces absolutely terrified of showing a hairy leg. I have been shamed myself for showing hairy legs in public.

Yes by all means shave if you want to, but you can't deny that there is an overall attitude to women's body hair that needs to change.

Young teenage girls and women should not be ashamed and scared to show body hair in public

[DrDavidBanner]

I was allergic to the hair remover creams, used to get a really painful ugly rash.

Razors are so much easier to use, I like Wilkinson Sword Intuition razor.

[AlpineBell]

I tried using creams under my arms when i was a teenager but they didn't work. I ended up leaving them 5 minutes longer than it said but it still didn't work. My hair isn't particularly thick. Switched to razors since then which are quicker and work

[bluebluezoo]

Presumably for the same reason as some people put on different clothes for a party than what they would wear to clean the bathroom on a Sunday morning. Or get a holiday haircut or fake tan or buy a new mascara

Oh come on, you really think these women don’t give any thought to the social impact of body hair? That not shaving in winter when it can be hidden, and shaving in summer when it can’t is purely fashion choice?

If I choose to shave my legs it’s because I don’t want other people to see my hairyness, because hair on women is a bad thing. I don’t think ooh my leg hair would look nice with those sandals, i’ll grow it out..

People cut their hair, wear new mascara, fake tan, and wear new clothes to look nice.

No where in this society do people grow body hair because they think it looks nice.

I like my body hair, and don’t remove it, but I am fully aware that it won’t make people think I look better with it.

[mbosnz]

One of my teenaged daughters shaves religiously, the other erratically and only when she can be bothered which isn't terribly often. Yes, she goes out in public unshaven.

Hasn't reported being hassled or shamed for it, and definitely isn't scared to go out in public. I pity the twerp that did, she doesn't tend to take much shit from anybody.

[YoTeQuieroInfinito]

I don't see how or why anyone can argue that women remove their body hair for any reason other than because we've been socialised to believe we should. Same with makeup. I shave my body hair because I feel like I look gross with it, but I'm quite happy to admit that I only feel that way because of societal pressure and influence.

[Ohtherewearethen]

@YoTeQuieroInfinito - You really can't speak for all women. I shave because I can't stand the feel of it. I pretty much never show my legs or armpits in public but I still do it because it's my personal preference.

[sunflowersandtulips50]

YoTeQuieroInfinito I totally agree with you. I see men with hairy backs, fronts, faces etc however as a female hairy underarms were mocked, legs etc and i remember being laughed at for my eyebrows. I do like my eyebrows being done now and tinted but that is because i feel good doing it. Legs etc are left and I may decide to shave but it really is mood dependent

[sunflowersandtulips50]

YoTeQuieroInfinito not sure why you werent highlighted

[Natasha9511]

I don’t shave because society tells me to, I shave because I love my smooth legs and rub them together like a cricket after I’ve shaved them 😂 I don’t have to shave my armpit hair because I’ve never actually grown any!! I don’t shave my arms or my belly - which is extremely hairy during pregnancy! I shave because I want to. I don’t care what society says and don’t think a lot of people do!

[SpeedofaSloth]

I plan to give my DD a Ladyshave when she says her leg hair bothers her. She's only 7 yet and not bothered, but I won't ignore when when she does express concern.
My mother ignored me and the school bus wasn't pleasant as lots of people noticed and I couldn't get away from them

[bluefoxmug]

same here speedo
saves dds using their dads or brothers shavers and blocking them as well.

[YoTeQuieroInfinito]

I shave because I want to. I don’t care what society says and don’t think a lot of people do!

That's what's so clever about societal pressure. Everyone thinks they're actually making their own choice.

It's a bit like how everyone in Saudi Arabia thinks that they naturally chose to follow Islam and clearly would have done so even if they'd been born a white American in Mississippi.

[YoTeQuieroInfinito]

I'm quite surprised at how many people don't grasp that.

Another example: Why do you think women (speaking generally here, didn't think I'd have to point that out but apparently I do) have long hair so much more often than men do? Because society tells us we should. Yet I'm sure lots of individuals would claim "oh no, I don't care what society says, I have my hair long because I just love it that way and it looks great". That's the whole point. You think it looks good because society tells you what "good" means in terms of feminine appearance. If we didn't care what society thought we'd just shave it down to a buzzcut I guess. Much easier to take care of that way.

[Natasha9511]

No, I love my long, almost bum length hair because I love it? I would hate a buzzcut, a bob, or anything that isn’t exactly how my hair is now 🤣 couldn’t deal with that. Love my long hair as it can be chucked up in a bun for 3 weeks and is out of my way

[bluebluezoo]

Another example: Why do you think women (speaking generally here, didn't think I'd have to point that out but apparently I do) have long hair so much more often than men do? Because society tells us we should. Yet I'm sure lots of individuals would claim "oh no, I don't care what society says, I have my hair long because I just love it that way and it looks great". That's the whole point. You think it looks good because society tells you what "good" means in terms of feminine appearance. If we didn't care what society thought we'd just shave it down to a buzzcut I guess. Much easier to take care of that way

You always need the generally speaking caveat, before people post that thats not their opionion, so you are wrong.

See @Natasha9511 post

If long hair were genuinely worn because people preferred it, men would do it too. We’d have a roughly even split of men and women with long vs short hair.

I bet men will tell you they prefer short hair because it’s easier and cleaner or whatever.

Same with shaving. If it were genuinely a free choice, and it felt better or whatever, men would do it too.

Why shouldn’t men feel cleaner, or do it “to rub their smooth legs together like a cricket”, or because it’s basic hygiene?

[thesedaysarescary]

Veet is rubbish for thick wiry hair a razor would be better.

[thesedaysarescary]

Veet is rubbish for thick wiry hair a razor would be better.

[YoTeQuieroInfinito]

Lol. Thank you for so perfectly demonstrating my exact point, Natasha!

[Woofer18]

There is so much pressure on us to be hair free. A lot if this also comes from porn, which tells men that women must be totally hair free.

I have shaved my vajayjay fully about five times - each time was because I was going to be with a man, and I know that they expect it.

Each time - I was sore for weeks after, the razor left little cuts, clothes hurt me, I got more scapes and cuts down there, I felt itchy a lot - the hair growing back was itchy.

When I have a full bush down there - I feel so comfortable, clothes feel more confortable, I feel more protected from irritants. We are meant to have a protective cushion if hair there.

[gamerchick]

No way I'd shave the holy place for any dude like. I don't care if he expected it or not.

[Goatinthegarden]

Oh come on, you really think these women don’t give any thought to the social impact of body hair? That not shaving in winter when it can be hidden, and shaving in summer when it can’t is purely fashion choice?

If I choose to shave my legs it’s because I don’t want other people to see my hairyness, because hair on women is a bad thing. I don’t think ooh my leg hair would look nice with those sandals, i’ll grow it out..

I said they REMOVED hair for the summer because it made them feel good She revealing skin, much in the same way a fake tan might.

I have shaved my vajayjay fully about five times - each time was because I was going to be with a man, and I know that they expect it.

Well, they’re entitled to a preference, but you don’t have to indulge. I have preferences for how my partners present themselves during sex. I’m sure we all do. I prefer to be hair free even when no one else would know, if a partner asked me to grow body hair, I wouldn’t oblige.

[Newdaynewname1]

What is so bad about saying “i shave my legs because i don’t want to stand out negativity “? we do a lot of things for that reason (haircuts, deodorant, wearing clothes in summer ...). picking up leg and underarm hair as the one big thing to get upset about is quite strange...

[Ohtherewearethen]

@bluebluezoo - err, plenty of men have long hair. Did you entirely miss the whole 'man bun' craze? Similarly, many women have short hair. I really don't know why you think the world is full of shiny, smooth, long haired women. Even if it was it's none of your business.
I see you're not complaining about men feeling pressure from society to be hairy and keep their hair short? They often have to be clean shaven for certain jobs aswell.
You're moaning that some women like to grow their hair long yet want to remove other body hair. What would be your preference for every woman then - long body hair but a number one on the head. Would that make you happy? Or can you just accept that women have a choice over how they wish to look? Your and others' condescending cries of brainwashing and societal expectations are patronising and bordering on sneery.