13 year old with underarm hair

[scunner]

What do mums advise for a 13 year old girl with quite a lot of underarm hair. Not fine and fair, but dark and wiry. Should I find a cream to remove it? She is very self conscious. Any suggestions would be most welcome.

[badtime]

Electric shaver. No cuts, no ingrowing hairs.

[bluebluezoo]

I think it’s a personal choice thing. I don’t think anyone is obliged in any way to shave

Try growing your armpit hair, going out in public and then see how you feel about “obligation” to shave.

Why does the o/p’ dd feel self conscious? Because if other kids see they will tease and call the kid disgusting, a gorilla, “unhygienic”, smelly etc.

As an adult, a superstar, look what the press did to Julia Roberts when she dared go out without shaving.

I’m an adult and am fully conscious that every time someone sees my armpit or leg hair I risk comments, sniggers and judgement. It’s very powerful, and do cover up more than I should.

While it is a choice, it isn’t a completely free choice.

[Ginfordinner]

I agree with bluebluezoo. We have been socially conditioned to have smooth legs and armpits. Anyone who says otherwise is being disingenuous, and anyone who thinks it is OK to deny a 13 year old the means to remove it is downright cruel.

Teenage girls can be spectacularly bitchy, so why give them a handle to stick the knife in?

[Krook]

My daughter has very sensitive skin but finds the Veet Sensitive cream fine.

[Llamazoom]

@Natasha9511 when I had children I wanted to be the complete opposite to my mother everything I felt was missing from my childhood I wanted to give to my kids. I had a very strange upbringing!

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I gave up shaving at about 30, but that was my choice. As a teen the pressure is a lot, social expectations or not. She wants to, let her. My dd, despite me not shaving, chooses to.
My dd (23) got one of those unisex razor subscriptions things, can’t remember which, but works out a lot cheaper than chemist bought ones. There’s plenty of deals to hook you in about, her first box came with shave cream, shower gel and deodorant-all pleasantly scented. She gets refills every two to three months.

[zingally]

I was about that age when I started shaving. Never discussed it with my mum. Think I used my dad's razor to start with, but then quickly bought my own!

[OverUnderSidewaysDown]

Are you a man, OP? I cannot understand why you would need to ask this question otherwise.

[Hedgehog44]

Razor. At 13 you should be allowed to shave whatever you want!

[Hedgehog44]

@rosiejaune I love my body but I wouldn't want hairy armpits just to prove a point about it!

[DemelzaRobins]

My Mum didn't want me to shave until 16, which is when she started. We both have the same dark brown hair, but she has light brown eyebrows and body hair, and has lighter skin than me. I inherited my father's jet black eyebrows, olive skin and have dark body hair.

I shaved my armpits from about 12 I think. At 14 I was getting very self conscious about my leg hair, I went to an all girls school so no comments from boys, but the other girls noticed. I cracked and shaved my legs with a disposable razor without permission. I'm dyspraxic so it wasn't pretry. After that Mum showed me what to do going forward. I just wish she'd supported me from the start.

Ask your DD what she would like to do and do that. Show her how to shave so she knows if she opts for that in the future.

[ittakes2]

I waited to my daughter asked and then we bought sugar wax from boots and it’s been brilliant.

[Chungus]

I'd have let her start shaving much earlier than 13 if she was self conscious about it.

[Woofer18]

@Ohtherewearethen you said

"please don't tell other women why they choose to shave their body hair. I shave because I like it. If I didn't, I wouldn't do it. I can't stand the feel of hairy legs or armpits and I hate the look of it on myself".

That is sad that you hate the look of it. We have been told to hate it. How much of a choice do we have though? I love having full hair on my legs and armpits.

One time I was travelling, and I went for dinner with a male traveller whom I had met that week. He looked at my legs with absolute disgust and said "how long have you gone without shaving them". I said "a couple of weeks". He said "wow I thought it was a couple of months". He looked at them with disgust. He said "I have grown up with women with shaved legs, I just can't get used to this". I said "it is natural" I did text him later and said to him, "how dare you comment on my body like that".

We are shamed from all angles for having hair on our bodies.

I just hate this, that we are shamed to have body hair. I question anything that we are made to to, that men are not made to do. It is a form of control over us

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Lumea is not to be used for 18’s. And it won’t work on fair hair.

[Ohtherewearethen]

@Woofer18 - don't feel sorry for me or tell me that I've been told to hate body hair. You need to stop doing telling women what to think or that you know why they think what they think. It's no better coming from a woman than a man.
If you choose not to shave that is up to you. You can't control what other people think about that, although most adults have better manners than to comment on it to your face. People are allowed to have preferences that differ from yours. Why on earth do you think it's sad that I prefer not to have hairy legs? It doesn't even register with me that you prefer to keep your hair. Same as if you chose to dye your hair a different colour because you just preferred it. Or had your ears pierced because you like the look of earrings.
Interestingly, you didn't respond to my comment about you having a hair cut. It's natural for hair to grow so you've never cut yours into a style that you like and makes you feel comfortable and good about yourself? You don't wear clothes that make you feel good? If you have/do, then you're actually a bit of a hypocrite.

[JoeCalFuckingZaghe]

Don’t tell women what to do with their own body.

Of course unless this is about shaving then if you MUST do has the hairy say!!! If want to remove hair you’re a brainless, brainwashed sheep under control of the advertising industry or porn industry when it comes to shaving genitals. The horrible horrible irony.

[Goatinthegarden]

@Woofer18

We only shave our armpits and legs because advertising campaigns from shaving companies in the 1920's told us that we had to, to look clean.

I don't know why more women don't stop and think "hey, maybe the shaving companies had a vested interest"

That is definitely the case....but I personally feel cleaner without the hair, so I remove it. It’s my choice. I also choose how to cut, dye and style the hair on my head instead of leaving it to just grow as it feels.

DH is very hairy all over...in summer he shaves his armpit hair really short, he doesn’t ever smell sweaty but he says he does it because he ‘doesn’t like having damp hair’.

I second PPs talking about alternatives to razors. I had thick wirey body hair and used razors for years You could always see the follicle underneath my skin and I hated it, latterly I used epilators and now am using a Phillips Lumea which has been a game changer.....and DH has asked me if I can try on the hairs sprouting on his back. I wish my mum had made these options available to me as a teen.

[bluebluezoo]

I prefer not to have hairy legs? It doesn't even register with me that you prefer to keep your hair. Same as if you chose to dye your hair a different colour because you just preferred it. Or had your ears pierced because you like the look of earrings

Not really the same. If I do or don’t get my ears pierced/cut or dye my hair chances are I won’t be shamed for it and called smelly, unhygienic and disgusting.

Body hair on women is not seen in a positive way.

I like my body hair, but still feel immense pressure not to display it in public.

[bluebluezoo]

That is definitely the case....but I personally feel cleaner without the hair, so I remove it

I am also interested in why body hair is seen as unclean and people like the smooth feel, feel cleaner etc...

Why doesn’t that apply to head hair? My head hair always feels sweaty and icky after the gym- why not shave that too?

[Goatinthegarden]

@bluebluezoo I feel sorry for you that you do feel people are calling you smelly, unhygienic or disgusting. I have a couple of female friends who choose not to remove hair and as far as I’m aware, no one talks about them or comments on it.

I know many of my friends don’t remove leg hair in winter months if wearing tights or trousers. Many are in relationships and feel comfortable with doing this. I have no idea what any of them do with other body hair....it’s not discussed.

[Goatinthegarden]

• I am also interested in why body hair is seen as unclean and people like the smooth feel, feel cleaner etc...
  
  Why doesn’t that apply to head hair? My head hair always feels sweaty and icky after the gym- why not shave that too?*
  
  I keep my hair short because I don’t like the feel of long, sweaty hair. I’m very active and I like to shampoo it twice a day, despite my Hairdresser’s protests.
  
  If I must be blunt, I don’t like having hairy genitals. I find that it’s easier to wipe clean with loo roll when smooth. Same reason I prefer tampons to wearing a sanitary pad which I think feels damp and wholly unpleasant. I think armpits dry faster when smooth and I think deodorant goes on easier. It clumps in my husbands armpit hair.

[bluebluezoo]

feel sorry for you that you do feel people are calling you smelly, unhygienic or disgusting

They’re doing it on this thread. Shaving is “basic hygiene” according to one poster.

Why do your friends only shave legs in winter when no one can see? If they are comfortable with their body hair why not display it?

It’s not discussed because it’s not socially acceptable to have female body hair. The norm is removal. This is why 13 year olds feel self conscious about it, because it’s not normal and people notice the exception.

[Natasha9511]

@Llamazoom me too! My mum shouted at me for buying sanitary towels, in preparation, in the summer after I left primary school, she refused to give me them back. Lo and behold my period started 2 months later. Give me back my towels!!! 😤

[BuzzButterfly7]

Get her a womens razor and sensitive shave gel.

Personally I prefer shaving and I like men who shave and keep body hair maintained too.