To think at 31 my friend isn’t too old to be having a baby

[Halfwayto50]

My lovely friend has recently started ttc she’s worried she’s too old and she’s going to struggle with her pregnancy due to her age. I’ve reassured her best as I can I personally had my two children at 21 and 23 so I personally don’t know what it will be like for her.

Women can have babies at whatever age works for them. Other people may disapprove but that doesn’t actually matter. Has anybody ever changed their opinion because some random person on Mumsnet wrote some words on a screen?

Had my first at 32..

Jesus. 31 too old!

31 is probably bang on average.

What is wrong with people.

I am so tired of

@FluffyKittensinabasket I never said it was too risky. I’m just pointing out that the OP’s friend does have a valid concern and that a lot of the replies on this thread are being dismissive of that concern because they themselves chose to have children late.

I had my second at 31 twenty three years ago, it’s young these days!

Not too old a all. I've completed my family of 3 by 26 which is very old fashioned really. She's not of an age to be worrying about fertility yet, we are living longer and healthier lives with plenty of women conceiving in their 40's. Socially it's much more normal for women in their 30's and 40's too

Been researching my family tree. Most of my female ancestors didnt start becoming mothers until they were in their late 20s and went on to have many children into their late 30s.
It's never too late! Not even now.

I was first of my friends to have a baby at 29. Had my second at 31 and felt about average. One of my friends lives in a city a few miles away and had her babies at 24 and 26 - she said she was the oldest on the ward with her second! So I think it does vary hugely by area. I found my first pregnancy much harder than my second even though I was younger.

It's not old in not in my circle, in fact it's on the younger end of average.

I suppose your perception is influenced by those around you though.

It's fine. I had a lot of family telling me I was passed it at that age. Maybe she's got that or she's read one too many rants about teen mums that the UK press love too much.

I was 31 and 34 - it's a good age.

I’m 28, pregnant with my second and none of my school friends/peer group my age have even thought about kids yet.

I also work as a midwife and would say my ‘average’ first time mum is 27-33.

I was 40 when I had my DC. Was lucky enough to fall pregnant as soon as we started trying and to have a very easy pregnancy. At no point was I made to feel too old by any medical professional. Times have changed. My mother was classed as a "geriatric mother" when ahe had her third child at 31, but that was over 40 years ago. I know several women who have had children at 40+ with no issues. There is a lot of scare-mongering about fertility suddenly dropping off at 35+.

I was 30 and 32 and one of the youngest in my antenatal group!

I don't know anyone who had kids in their 20s. I'm pregnant now at 32 and I'm the youngest of my friends to have kids.

This is too ridiculous.

What is going on to fuel thoughts like this?

I'm 37 and DD is 18 months old. And if biology wasn't getting in the way I'd have another. She's definitely not too old.

I was 20 when I had my first, 28 with my second and I’m 35 now with my third. She’s definitely not too old.

And the risk doesn’t reduced just because more women are choosing to wait until they are older now. A lot of dismissive replies on this thread, for what is a valid concern.

Although the risks increase with age, the chances of anything being wrong are still very low. The probability is still stacked in favour of a healthy baby.

31 is not old. Before contraception, women didn't think twice about having babies at any age - nature dictated when they stopped. Now women have children at a time that suits them. I don't know anyone in their 30s or early 40s who could not have children when they decided to.

These is often an undercurrent of nastiness in some of the posts whenever the age debate crops up, from both women who had children younger and feel like they're judged by women who had a career first and the reverse. Why can't we stop judging others' choices and be glad we have the choice to live the lives we want?

It depends on where you live.

I was 32 and 36 when I got pregnant with my two. That’s completely average where I live.
However a colleague was pregnant at the same time as me for my 2nd and was 24, many of the people she knew were already on their 2nd by that age and I basically seemed like the oldest mum in the world.

Social-economic background plays a big role in it. But in a nutshell no she’s not too old

YANBU, my mum had me when she was nearly 33.

Does she not know any actual people? You'd have to live with blinkers on to have so little knowledge of what age first time mothers are

Of course not, most people in my spheres don't bother until 30

i had twins at 37, it was fine. i dont think no sleep is easier at any age

WTAF people really think 31 is too old? I was 32 16 years ago ...51 I would maybe say it may be quite late but 31 is AVERAGE these days get a fucking grip.