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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"D"H called me a fat c*nt

83 replies

Frontalswaps · 02/07/2020 21:02

This is what "D"H called me tonight during an argument.

I like to catastrosize (sorry spelling) arguements and always think "this is the end"

But I'm actually starting to think it is

He started an argument with me because DD1's hair was too tangled after I'd bathed and washed her hair... Then it transpires that he has the hump with me because he would've "quite liked to have got some fresh air " himself today instead he's had to be "lumped" with my plans

My plans/day was as follows:

Got up with the kids , got them both dressed , DD1 wanted to go out for a jog so we took DD2 in the buggy and went for a jog (gone about 30 mins?). Came back gave the kids breakfast.

My DDad came into garden so I could sort something on his phone, he had cuppa and left.

I said to DH I'm going to friends garden at lunch for a catch up. Will get DD2 to sleep for a nap, and bring DD1 with me. He just needs to wake DD2 at the 1 hour mark (or bedtime is hell) and I will be back shortly after.

I got back 2 hours after putting DD1 to sleep and he hadn't woke her.

He then spent the rest of the day on the sofa. I cooked dinner, he barely spat out a thanks - well he didn't actually say thanks

Then it kicked off at bathtime. About the hair. Then he started complaining that I was selfish (for not drying/washing her hair properly !?!) And that everything I do is shit, and that he is fed up of fixing things that I mess up and that he would've liked to have done his own plans today

When I pointed out that he could've gone out this morning while i was running with the kids, or painted the fences while DD2 napped... This wasn't good enough... It escalated until he punched the coffee table several times and the baby monitor breaking the screen completely and marched into another room while I consoled a frightened DD1.

After she was settled I went into the room he was in and took his bank card out of his wallet and said I was buying a new monitor and "you're paying". It escalated again he was very aggressive and threatened to smash my fucking face in if I didn't give him the card back and called me a fat cunt.

LTB, right ....?

OP posts:
CallmeIT · 02/07/2020 21:04

Yes.

Calling you that is vile but the dealbreaker is violence infront of your children.

Hiddenmnetter · 02/07/2020 21:05

Yeah. Go ahead and have my first ever LTB. Don't think that's right at all.

StormzyInaDCup · 02/07/2020 21:05

I don't think you really need to ask. He's being verbally abusive and physically aggressive. Leave him, in all seriousness, before this has a bigger impact on your children!

Hublott · 02/07/2020 21:05

LTB it will only get worst

Isolatedizzy · 02/07/2020 21:06

Yep! I wouldn't give anyone the opportunity to call me that more than once!

He sounds awful and he threatened you with physical violence! It's definitely over, start making plans so that you can get rid of him!

user1471530109 · 02/07/2020 21:06

Absolutely. My thankfully xH used to call me an ugly fat cunt regularly in the final few months. Dispicable excuse of a man. In hindsight I think he was trying to make me 'dump him' so he could go off with the ow 'guilt free'. Had a new baby at the time too Angry

Isolatedizzy · 02/07/2020 21:06

Yep! I wouldn't give anyone the opportunity to call me that more than once!

He sounds awful and he threatened you with physical violence! It's definitely over, start making plans so that you can get rid of him!

MrsWooster · 02/07/2020 21:07

What would you tell a friend to do in this situation?

belfastmillie · 02/07/2020 21:07

LTB. Run for the hills

zenasfuck · 02/07/2020 21:07

Tbh, the name calling is the least worrying part of this - and that is unacceptable by itself

He is violent, unpredictable and doesn't sound like he adds any value to your family life

Please make plans to leave as soon as is possible

OscarWildesCat · 02/07/2020 21:08

Surely you don’t need to ask a bunch of internet strangers?. Leave!

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 02/07/2020 21:08

Yes. You deserve much better -MUCH better. You deserve a peace and quiet home.

Somethingkindaoooo · 02/07/2020 21:08

Er, yes

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 02/07/2020 21:09

LTB. NOW.

If you are on the South Coast your children and you can come and stay with me for a few days. Seriously. Get away from this lowlife. Flowers

DoloresOnTheDottedLine · 02/07/2020 21:12

God he sounds horrible and scary. Hope you’re okay OP. I think you already know what you have to do.

Candyfloss99 · 02/07/2020 21:12

What he called you is disgusting but it's also the least of your worries.

HansBanans · 02/07/2020 21:14

100% LTB. Sorry you're going through this x

justanotherneighinparadise · 02/07/2020 21:15

Wow! He sounds absolutely horrendous OP.

sunshinesheila · 02/07/2020 21:16

Showing aggression like that would only be allowed to happen that once around me or my children.
No way would I be in the house with him long enough for there to be a second incident.

Get out of there. Bang out of order and would be crossing every bottom line for me

thepeopleversuswork · 02/07/2020 21:18

No way back from that. His language and treatment of you is vile but he is also exhibiting violent and threatening behaviour in front of your children. You have an obligation now to leave him for them.

And by the way it doesn't sound like you have been catastrophising at all -- if anything its the opposite and you've been minimising abusive behaviour.

Do you have somewhere to go?

Thedogscollar · 02/07/2020 21:20

It's a no brainer really. What a shit he is. My first LTB with bells on. I hope you will be ok tonight OP. No excuse for this at all. Your poor daughter witnessing that, so damaging. No come back from this.

unmumsymumof2 · 02/07/2020 21:20

My first ever ...LTB.

I clearly don't through 'LTB' around, but this is well deserved.

unmumsymumof2 · 02/07/2020 21:20

My first ever ...LTB.

I clearly don't through 'LTB' around, but this is well deserved.

Topseyt · 02/07/2020 21:21

Yes, dumo him.

Rumtopf · 02/07/2020 21:21

First ever LTB. Violence is never ok, never mind speaking to you like that. Is this the example you want to set your children for their future relationships?
Pack your bags and for the children, take bank statements, move some money to your sole account if you don't already have your own savings, take their birth certificates and passports and any other important documents and go and stay with family.