"D"H called me a fat c*nt

[Frontalswaps]

This is what "D"H called me tonight during an argument.

I like to catastrosize (sorry spelling) arguements and always think "this is the end"

But I'm actually starting to think it is

He started an argument with me because DD1's hair was too tangled after I'd bathed and washed her hair... Then it transpires that he has the hump with me because he would've "quite liked to have got some fresh air " himself today instead he's had to be "lumped" with my plans

My plans/day was as follows:

Got up with the kids , got them both dressed , DD1 wanted to go out for a jog so we took DD2 in the buggy and went for a jog (gone about 30 mins?). Came back gave the kids breakfast.

My DDad came into garden so I could sort something on his phone, he had cuppa and left.

I said to DH I'm going to friends garden at lunch for a catch up. Will get DD2 to sleep for a nap, and bring DD1 with me. He just needs to wake DD2 at the 1 hour mark (or bedtime is hell) and I will be back shortly after.

I got back 2 hours after putting DD1 to sleep and he hadn't woke her.

He then spent the rest of the day on the sofa. I cooked dinner, he barely spat out a thanks - well he didn't actually say thanks

Then it kicked off at bathtime. About the hair. Then he started complaining that I was selfish (for not drying/washing her hair properly !?!) And that everything I do is shit, and that he is fed up of fixing things that I mess up and that he would've liked to have done his own plans today

When I pointed out that he could've gone out this morning while i was running with the kids, or painted the fences while DD2 napped... This wasn't good enough... It escalated until he punched the coffee table several times and the baby monitor breaking the screen completely and marched into another room while I consoled a frightened DD1.

After she was settled I went into the room he was in and took his bank card out of his wallet and said I was buying a new monitor and "you're paying". It escalated again he was very aggressive and threatened to smash my fucking face in if I didn't give him the card back and called me a fat cunt.

LTB, right ....?

Go and stay with your parents. Can you get out of working this weekend to sort out your stuff? Obviously you should leave him, he's a knob.

Absolutely ltb. You aren’t safe with this man and you can’t raise happy and healthy children in this environment. Your children will model their future relationship on yours.

*I said to DH I'm going to friends garden at lunch for a catch up. Will get DD2 to sleep for a nap, and bring DD1 with me. He just needs to wake DD2 at the 1 hour mark (or bedtime is hell) and I will be back shortly after.

I got back 2 hours after putting DD1 to sleep and he hadn't woke her*

My thoughts are he is reacting to you being independent and he wants his needs put first. He isn't able to process his emotions healthily so likely to be ruminating until he is at boiling point.

I think it will only ever escalate so I think your marriage will have to end.

You have an opportunity to show your frightened daughter that this behaviour is not to be put up with - what advice would you give her if it was her in this situation as an adult? Would you want her to stay with a man who called her awful names and broke household items? If the answer is no, you know what you need to do for her.

I had my ex arrested for spitting at me just one of the many things that arsehole did to me, it took months and months of abuse before I snapped, one final argument where he spat directly in my face and smashed my phone, my youngest child was shaking like a leaf witnessing it, she wet herself and was heaving and hysterical she’d never witnessed anything before as it always when they were at school or in bed, I took her in my arms, walked out drove straight to the police station, went to court and haven’t looked back.

LTB do not leave yourself or kids in this situation. It’s not good for any of you, the one thing I didn’t do was tell anyone close to me, if you can tell you mum I’d talk to her, I had no one.

Please leave him.

Yep. And quickly.

Hope you are ok and safe OP.