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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this weird?

82 replies

PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 10:43

I needed someone to do some gardening work for me and I don’t really know anyone who has a gardener to get recommendations so I decided to look on Facebook, Clearly a mistake! Anyway I had a few messages from gardeners and there was a lot of time wasters or people charging ridiculous amounts, so I found a man who was reasonable and we arranged over messages for him to do my garden, all seemed normal until I gave him my address, then I thought he seemed a little odd as he would sent loads of messages for example we agreed on the date and time then he sent a message saying ok coming tomorrow. Then a few hours later he sent ok see you tomorrow at 1.30. Also sending pictures of his leaflets etc if I didn’t respond straight away he would send another asking me to respond ASAP Not too odd so I thought ok whatever. Anyway he came yesterday did the garden and after he left he kept sending my text messages, again nothing sinister just asking if it was ok, saying he could come back to do something else, asking if he could use my pictures of the garden, he sent me 3 texts after leaving and about the same amount on Facebook. I responded politely but he messaged again asking if I want him to do anymore work, I read it and didn’t respond (busy and I had previously told him I could manage the rest myself) I thought that was that but this morning I woke up to a text message from him saying sorry and asking if he upset me! Aibu for finding this weird? My mum said to block him but I’m thinking he may show up, I also thought it was weird that he said he lived in an area almost 10 miles away from me, and came by public transport. Seemed a long way to travel for a small job, he has sent me another message on Facebook but I haven’t read it.

OP posts:
garbagegirl · 02/07/2020 10:45

Is he just starting out and wants to make a good impression? Maybe has some kind of condition which limits his social understanding? I would be polite but firm.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 10:48

Maybe has some kind of condition which limits his social understanding?

I think this is the case but I don’t want to block him as that seems mean but don’t know how to get him to stop messaging me without sounding rude.

OP posts:
ArthurMrdr2 · 02/07/2020 10:55

Could you just say thank you for your hard work you made a big improvement to the garden, I have your number and will contact you if I need any help in the future.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 10:59

I will try that, he couldn’t finish a bit of the garden as it started raining badly, it’s only a small bit and he was insisting on coming back to finish it, I’ve told him there is really no need, I’ve just gone on to write that to him and his message was asking if I know anyone else that needs gardening work done. Sent at 6am. Going to send one last polite final message, hopefully he stops.

OP posts:
ArthurMrdr2 · 02/07/2020 11:02

He sounds a bit desperate for work.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 11:04

My mum was worrying me saying it’s money for drugs, and that I shouldn’t have got someone from Facebook, like I said lesson learned!

OP posts:
YouDirtyMare · 02/07/2020 11:06

Poor man, I think he sounds desperate for work too
If you were happy with his work would you be happy to be a reference for him?

Original poster
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 11:10

I would, I’ve told him I will however I don’t know anyone who uses a gardener like I said, everyone I know does theirs themselves, but I told him I would anyway I sent one final message so hopefully that’s the end of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 16:36

Bit of an update , so I messaged back the message suggested and he said “ok thanks” and then I thought that would be it however he has now messaged again, twice, he said he is in the area this weekend so will come back to finish it for £15!! Erm it was £40 for the whole thing so think it’s cheeky he is now asking for more money. I think my mum was right about it being for drugs, I said “no thanks please it’s ok” and he’s still insisting.

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 02/07/2020 16:40

Be firm! Say no I don't need to to come back and your messages are getting a bit much! Stop before I get annoyed

Whynotnowbaby · 02/07/2020 16:41

I think you are going to need to be a little firmer. “Thank you for all your hard work, I am happy with what you have done but don’t need anything further at the moment. I will contact you if I need anything in the future so please don’t contact me again.

AstridAv · 02/07/2020 16:55

I agree with PPs in the he sounds desperate for work. Does seem a bit full on though.

lavenderlove · 02/07/2020 16:59

I wouldn't block op as he seems the type to turn up at your door! I think you're going to have to be less polite and ask him not to message again

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2020 17:00

Time to be very firm. Tell him no and to not contact you again. Then block. If he does show up to your home, do not answer the door and call the police if he won't leave. He sounds a bit unhinged, honestly.

WhatCFeryIsThis · 02/07/2020 17:03

Hmm, I know it's a long shot as you've already spoken to him at length but is there any chance of you convincing him this isn't your home, as in you were house sitting and wanted to do a special favour while the owners were away, or you're moving and wanted it nice for viewings? I hope suggesting that doesn't upset anyone on the thread, I'm usually the first to say be honest, direct and firm but this man isn't taking a hint and it's getting to harassment levels. If you did say something like that, you could also say you live in or are moving to a top floor flat so you don't need any gardening services Grin

Laiste · 02/07/2020 17:18

Lord this sounds like the sort of tangled web i tend to find myself in OP Hmm

I agree you should tell him thanks but no thanks in a Firm Tone.

Good luck.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 17:43

After I said no really it’s fine, he said it’s ok I can come, so not taking no for an answer?! I told him actually I won’t be in this weekend as I’m going to my mums and he said “does she need her garden done?” There’s desperate then there is crazy!! I said no she lives in a flat, she doesn’t! After that he put lol, now I’ve seen him just saying “£15 to come finish it off ok” I’ve said no twice Sad

OP posts:
Ohtherewearethen · 02/07/2020 17:49

He is a persistent pest isn't he? Being polite hasn't got you anywhere so I think it's time to say - No thankyou. That will not be necessary. Please stop asking.
If that fails then you'll just have to be very blunt or just stop responding to his nonsense. Good luck!

WhatCFeryIsThis · 02/07/2020 17:52

Oh dear. Well you've tried everything else. If you feel you might need to contact the police about this, you'll first need to make it clear to him that you want him to stop contacting you, as there's not as much they can do if you haven't actually asked him to stop, because it's harder to prove harassment. So at this stage you're going to have to bluntly tell him you no longer wish to hear from him.

Yankathebear · 02/07/2020 17:53

At this point I would be honest and say ‘I’m thankful for the work done but find your persistence quite unsettling. Please accept my thanks and refrain from contacting me further’.

SeasonFinale · 02/07/2020 17:59

Just say "No thanks, my budget was the £40 I already gave you so there is no more money to pay for more work at this time." I think now is probably the time to block him

Original poster
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 18:15

I can struggle with being firm as you can tell but I will have to be! That’s what these people rely on. I told a male friend who said he’s just trying to build up how business, well don’t harass people then! I’m sure he wouldn’t do this to a man. He’s actually lost business as I was going to ask for a quote for the back garden when he was here but his persistent messages already put me off before he even got here.

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 02/07/2020 18:22

Bloody hell he's persistent. You need to be very firm.

coffeeandpyjamas · 02/07/2020 18:28

Message him a final time saying that if he contacts you again you’ll report him to the police for harassment. He is harassing you. What gives him the right?!

Rumbletumbleinmytummy · 02/07/2020 18:39

"I have said no. I will contact you if I require your services, though given the pushy repeated attempt to finish off the job for additional funds is unlikely"

I understand that he hadn't finished the job because of the rain, but between the frequent messages and the cheeky request to finish the garden for £15 I would avoid him