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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this weird?

82 replies

PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 10:43

I needed someone to do some gardening work for me and I don’t really know anyone who has a gardener to get recommendations so I decided to look on Facebook, Clearly a mistake! Anyway I had a few messages from gardeners and there was a lot of time wasters or people charging ridiculous amounts, so I found a man who was reasonable and we arranged over messages for him to do my garden, all seemed normal until I gave him my address, then I thought he seemed a little odd as he would sent loads of messages for example we agreed on the date and time then he sent a message saying ok coming tomorrow. Then a few hours later he sent ok see you tomorrow at 1.30. Also sending pictures of his leaflets etc if I didn’t respond straight away he would send another asking me to respond ASAP Not too odd so I thought ok whatever. Anyway he came yesterday did the garden and after he left he kept sending my text messages, again nothing sinister just asking if it was ok, saying he could come back to do something else, asking if he could use my pictures of the garden, he sent me 3 texts after leaving and about the same amount on Facebook. I responded politely but he messaged again asking if I want him to do anymore work, I read it and didn’t respond (busy and I had previously told him I could manage the rest myself) I thought that was that but this morning I woke up to a text message from him saying sorry and asking if he upset me! Aibu for finding this weird? My mum said to block him but I’m thinking he may show up, I also thought it was weird that he said he lived in an area almost 10 miles away from me, and came by public transport. Seemed a long way to travel for a small job, he has sent me another message on Facebook but I haven’t read it.

OP posts:
TheWickerWoman · 02/07/2020 18:43

What was he like when he was there?

ReturnofSaturn · 02/07/2020 18:49

He came on public transport? Do gardeners not bring their own gear then?

ChipsAndKetchup · 02/07/2020 18:51

I had a very similar experience also with a gardener. He was so over the top he turned up at my house at 9.30 at night because I wouldn't reply to his stream of messages and he started peering in my windows and hammering on the door to get my attention. Even though I'd paid him in full.
I had to ring the police to get rid of him.

His name isn't Cliff is it? Confused

jackdaw141 · 02/07/2020 18:57

I think my mum was right about it being for drugs, I said “no thanks please it’s ok” and he’s still insisting.

And your mum's evidence for his drug habit is what exactly?

The gardening sector is perfect for many people with long term physical and mental disabilities, and also those who need short term support, such as ex-forces. You could possibly be making a judgment on this man far worse than the fear you have inflicted on yourself.

PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 19:05

OMG ChipsAndKetchup I actually thought it was the same person then! But no that isn’t his name, seems he’s not the only one like this then. Yes he travelled Almost 10 miles by train and I looked it up when he left and it would have taken him over an hour to get here and an hour back, for £40!Confused he brought his own hedge trimmer. I actually went on to message him the final message and seen he has sent another 3, I thought maybe I miss understood and the £15 was for the other bits he said he could do but nope he clearly states “£15 to finish but if you want the other bits cut back it will be more” erm how can you charge me extra for a job you didn’t finish Hmm .

As for when he was here he wasn’t too bad but he did keep knocking on the door asking lots of questions and when he left it seemed like he didn’t want to I had to be like “ok bye then” but he was still standing there so had to close the door on him, he came with a friend though so wasn’t alone.

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 19:06

jackdaw141

You think this behaviour is acceptable? I’ve told him no countless times now he won’t take no for an answer.

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 19:07

He seems desperate for money I guess that’s what my mum is basing it on but also she thinks I shouldn’t have got someone off Facebook because it’s dodgy, and I think she is right on that bit.

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 19:09

Again I said I will not be in on the weekend (incase he turns up) and if I do need him I will let him know and he said well I will book you in for Thursday. £30 for all of it. He wants money desperately that’s clear.

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WhatCFeryIsThis · 02/07/2020 19:11

Unless you're planning to message him saying 'I'm not going to find your drug habit so fuck off', I don't see the difference in assuming he's on drugs, disabled, mentally ill or ex forces. They're all equally presumptive but surely your own experience and impression counts for something? You can come to your own conclusions about the whys but regardless, he needs to leave you alone.

WhatCFeryIsThis · 02/07/2020 19:12

*fund not find.

Ohtherewearethen · 02/07/2020 19:12

Final reply - I do not need nor want any more work doing in my garden. I will not be replying to any more messages from now on.

Hoppinggreen · 02/07/2020 19:13

He sounds a bit annoying but unless you saw him shooting up in your shrubbery why would you (and your mum) instantly assume he’s a drug user?

PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 19:15

I never said he was, my mum did, but she thinks it was silly getting someone off Facebook. I’m only worrying about that now as how desperate he is coming across. I don’t know if he takes drugs don’t really care, just want him to stop messaging . My mum thought it was odd how far he was travelling.

OP posts:
Ernieshere · 02/07/2020 19:17

I would not rwply to any more mwssages. What was his friend doing whilst he was there?

They both had to pay a train fare & travel 2 hours?

PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 19:22

That’s what makes no sense, by the time he’s travelled so far surely it wouldn’t be worth it, and wouldn’t he have to pay his friend? The friend was helping to clean away the mess. I told him I can do the extra bits myself many times. Why would I pay someone to do the bits I can do.

OP posts:
WhatCFeryIsThis · 02/07/2020 19:22

OP, it really isn't important if you or your mum believe he's on drugs or not. It's certainly not something to feel bad about thinking. You're not telling the police he's on drugs. You're not telling him he's a druggie. You're just trying to make sense of his behaviour. Focus on what you can do to make him leave you alone and don't fret about being 'judgemental'. His behaviour towards you is far worse than any assumptions you might be making about him, anyway.

worryworryworryworry · 02/07/2020 19:25

Good grief!! There's persistent and then there's downright bonkers.

Just message and say - I thought I'd made this clear but obviously not. I do not require your services again so stop insisting. You're actually making me feel uncomfortable so I won't be replying to any further messages. Just for clarity - do NOT book any more work for me, I will not be using you again.

Poor you OP Sad FWIW I don't think finding him on Facebook was a bad decision, there are weirdos out there wherever you look!

PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 19:30

WhatCFeryIsThis thank you, my mum said it to explain why he is travelling so far and appearing so desperate. Wasn’t trying to be judgemental was just thinking it would explain the behaviour as it’s not exactly normal.

When I booked him I assumed he was local or at least drove, I put my area on the post. At least one good thing is he isn’t local so hopefully won’t just show up.

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fairydustandpixies · 02/07/2020 19:32

Sounds like he's really in need of work.

I ordered new fence panels a few weeks back, had a guy lined up to install them. Chased panels, there was a delay so had a moan that they'd said a date they'd be delivered and I that had a contractor at the ready.

Guy on the phone said not to worry, he'd install the whole fence for free, absolutely no charge. And that he does this gardening service and that building thing, he was freelance for the fencing company so it wouldn't cause any problems, he can do his own work...

I stuck with my original contractor but felt very sorry for the guy who said he'd put up the fence for free.

TheUnquestionedAnswer · 02/07/2020 19:33

I had a funny one too last night. Market place, selling a telly. Lady messaged me about 30 times and then kept asking if I had anything else to sell, did I have a video of it working. I started to think, after I gave my address and phone number out, what if it's a wierdo, but it all turned out ok, and she collected this morning as arranged.

fairydustandpixies · 02/07/2020 19:35

Sorry! Forgot the point - he kept texting me to say he'd be happy to work for nothing, loads of texts actually. I said no, I had made an agreement with someone else and wouldn't go back on that.

Was a bit awkward when he turned up to deliver the fence panels in the end. Neither of us referred to his offer of free labour...

fairydustandpixies · 02/07/2020 19:39

Ooops TLDR! My posts are totally irrelevant but yes, he may well be desperate for work and money but why do you assume it's for drugs?

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 02/07/2020 19:39

Don't actually go out at the weekend. You'll get home to find him "working" and wanting to be paid. We had dealings with someone just like this once, then we got back one day and he wanted a tenner because he'd taken it upon himself to "weed" the front garden. Luckily DH was there and just sort of loomed over him and he went away. The bloke didn't know I had a DH cos he was usually at work.

PumpkinP · 02/07/2020 19:44

Oh god what the hell thats scared me now! How is this happening to me Confused I do actually believe he will just turn up. I don’t get how he is charging me more money for something he didn’t finish!!

OP posts:
Chewy85 · 02/07/2020 19:47

OP why haven’t you told him firmly to stop messaging you? He send do persistent I can’t see this stopping!

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