Just found out I have to teach this...!

[Wellthatwasabitshocking]

Just had an email from DD(Y6)'s school to say I'm to teach her the sex and relationships unit.
Ok, I'm not a prude but I was not expecting to have the sort of full responsibility of it.

I don't want to make a pig's ear of it or make her scared or embarrassed!

The really pathetic PowerPoint and worksheet they've sent doesn't mention contraception, doesn't even mention the penis going into the vagina.

I'm happy to discuss what needs to be discussed but DD is my quiet, shy one and I know she won't ask questions, she'll just be horrified!

AIBU to just teach the basics and then add things along the way?

I've heard that they'll do it again in Y7 and she's going to be taught it by teachers used to teaching it. Also,

AIBU to think that when they knew schools were closing they could have taught it then, before school closed?

Also, does anyone know of a book/website that might be more helpful for my DD?

[LovelyIssues]

If she's in year 6 I'm betting she knows a lot more then she is letting on I work in a school..

[lockdownbaker]

I find it odd that parents don’t discuss this from an early age and normalise it, have you really not started this conversation yet? As others said you feel uncomfortable there are loads of good books. Nothing to worry about. Make it science based or start with the natural world if that’s an easier approach for you and then build in the emotional aspects.

[Santina]

Surely that's a good thing though, at least you're in control of the information being given to your child. I had to do a cover lesson once and had to deliver safe sex to a group of 17 year old lads, I'm sure I put some of them off for life.

[Whyohwhymusti]

Please talk to your child about this now, before she gets to year 7. You don’t have to go into loads of detail but in al honesty, when the kids at school ask the more ‘intimate’ questions, I say ‘why don’t you speak to your mum about that?’

Whether your daughter is embarrassed or not, she will be more embarrassed when she gets to secondary school and she doesn’t even know the basics.

In regards to ‘schools knew they were shutting, why didn’t they teach it before hand?’

We knew at exactly the same time the rest of the country did, that we were closing. Not quite sure how you expect the teachers to have fitted in everything in those two days.

Sex Ed is always taught in the summer term at our school and I’m sure it is other places too - at least they’re sending it home as home learning! Sure there will be loads of parents moaning if it didn’t get brought up!

[Whyohwhymusti]

Also, having read through the previous comments... if your daughter isn’t asking and you’re not telling, are you just going to pretend it’s not there?
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but maybe she’s embarrassed to ask you as it’s not something you discuss openly enough with her?

I personally feel like if it’s something you discussed with her (obviously at appropriate times) then it might be something she might be more willing to talk to you about?

[Fluffymulletstyle]

Really surprised your DD wouldn't know. I was pulled aside by nursery staff to say my 4 year old was teaching the other children where babies come from . Never sat down and told her but if she asked me questions I answered them in an age appropriate way. I want her to know how her body will change before it happens. I remember my first pube with deep embarrassment. Wasn't ready for it at all at 9yo!

[SleepingStandingUp]

Out of interest what age do people think parents should tell their kids if they don't ask?
DS is just 5, YR, I can't remember him really asking how DT got in there although he does know identical twins are because the baby splits in two 😂, I couldn't imagine for a moment having a penis and vagina conversation with him any time soon

[titchy]

I'd say if they haven't mentioned anything at all by the age of 7 you should start initiating a conversation. Not straight into PIV, but 'oh it looks like that lady has a baby in her tummy - that's where you grew did you know' and see what develops from that. Better still look at photos of you pregnant - kids love photos of themselves, including before they were born.

[Davincitoad]

It’s amazing how many kids know nothing in year 7. I teach science and when we do reproduction a lot of them had no idea of how sex actually works. Also because apparently at primary girls and boys are separate for this the concept of periods blows the boys minds.

[bitterlemon1]

There's an instagram page I follow which should help, it's called sexeducation.period

The woman teaches sex Ed at all different ages and has tons of resources on her page which should make things easier for you

[KisstheTeapot14]

There was a great series of programmes on BBC iplayer recently - maybe watch on your own first and see if they might be suitable as an intro. What was fascinating to me was how other countries are way ahead of the game with sex ed - age appropriate classes from young age in Holland and everyone much more openly talking about relationships and sex and the body. Twinkl and bitesize probably have resources too. Don't have to cover everything on one go but it might be a good start to ongoing conversations as she gets older - respect, ownership of your own body, the right to say no loud and clear - or yes, situations they might encounter etc may well come later on but at least you've shown her its something you can chat about and not a taboo subject. The most I got from my mum was a book about rabbits and 'ask me if you have questions'. I could tell she was mortified (ex catholic) and therefore so was I!

Well worth a watch.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Also because apparently at primary girls and boys are separate for this the concept of periods blows the boys minds

Don’t these boys have mothers?

Think Ds was aware of periods from when he was about 3.

Certainly by 7 even if a child hasn’t mentioned anything little snippets should be gently eased into the conversation.

[CatterySlave1]

I started when mine were around age 4 years old and asking obvious questions about seeing babies and pregnant women. Answers are always age appropriate and at their depth. Then I’ve not had to sit down for The Chat.
Maybe you could start it from the biology aspect and then lead the conversation into mechanics of how a baby gets into a baby and grows. Do you know anyone pregnant? I’ve often found it easier to talk about tricky subjects whilst doing an activity, like baking or going for a walk just the two of us. She’ll let you know her level of understanding and interest but Please don’t let her go to High School not knowing or she’ll be bullied mercilessly. I mean you have told her about Santa haven’t you?

[MrsKoala]

Don’t these boys have mothers?

My boys have seen me in the bathroom from birth and are now almost 8 and almost 6 and have never ever asked what I’m doing or why there is blood everywhere. DD who is 3 asks more questions - which I answer in an age appropriate way and stop when she stops asking so as not to overload her with information.

[Celestine70]

I agree boys need to know about periods. My son knows all about them and I've always kept sanitary products in the bathroom. I started his sex ed when he started asking questions which was when he was 8.

[LaPampa]

I guess this is why mumsnet is helpful. It raises ideas and suggestions you might not have thought of. If you’ve got children who ask any kind of questions it’s going to be easier to give them info. Eg my little boy started commenting on blood in my pants when he was 2 or 3. Only he had no idea it could be blood so assumed it was poo. I explained it was blood etc. Now a few years later he understands periods come regularly and it means no baby. If he finds a sanitary towel or whatever he says these are for mummy because only girls need them etc. But if he’d never asked I guess I would have had to find a time to tell him which is clearly nowhere near as easy, but can be done, eg by asking him to pass you one, do you know what this is etc? Force open a conversation but again much easier for me to say that than I imagine it is to start one. Easier when they’re younger, much harder later.

[LaPampa]

FWIW I was teased mercilessly by girls in what’s now year 7 when I didn’t know what the word virgin meant. I swore I’d never let my kids not have that level of knowledge. I recently explained a lot of swear words and their meanings and context to my 8 year old. Again I remember the abject embarrassment of my dad having to tell me what a particular word meant and why I shouldn’t use it - aged about 13. It’s not like my 8 year old hasn’t heard the words. (I’ve also never heard her use any of them, before or after the conversation - but she clearly knew them as she was happy to whisper them to me). Knowledge is power. Our kids deserve to know how their bodies work and how others (eg boys and periods) to teach compassion and understanding, as well as equip them with knowledge so should something happen to them they can know it’s wrong and say something.