Just found out I have to teach this...!

[Wellthatwasabitshocking]

Just had an email from DD(Y6)'s school to say I'm to teach her the sex and relationships unit.
Ok, I'm not a prude but I was not expecting to have the sort of full responsibility of it.

I don't want to make a pig's ear of it or make her scared or embarrassed!

The really pathetic PowerPoint and worksheet they've sent doesn't mention contraception, doesn't even mention the penis going into the vagina.

I'm happy to discuss what needs to be discussed but DD is my quiet, shy one and I know she won't ask questions, she'll just be horrified!

AIBU to just teach the basics and then add things along the way?

I've heard that they'll do it again in Y7 and she's going to be taught it by teachers used to teaching it. Also,

AIBU to think that when they knew schools were closing they could have taught it then, before school closed?

Also, does anyone know of a book/website that might be more helpful for my DD?

[Wellthatwasabitshocking]

@Kelsoooo

I think it's pretty crappy parenting to want to offload this onto teachers tbh.

Youre the parent, ensuring your child understands sex, emotion, consent, contraception etc is YOUR job.

Ok, can I just clarify, I was not offloading anything. Please read the OP

[Isthisfinallyit]

Does she know about menstruation? Because if she is 11ish you might want to tackle that conversation at the same time.

[veryvery]

Youre the parent, ensuring your child understands sex, emotion, consent, contraception etc is YOUR job

Ever heard of the well known phrase starting with 'It takes a village...' My D.C. had some additional needs when younger so it was important to me that we were on the same page as the other children in the class. In infants they had basic lessons on sex and relationships so I left it to the school to pitch the level. However, in yr 6 I decided to discuss some of what my D.C. knew before the lessons to ensure they weren't caught off guard in class. That's when I discover some humongous gaps. But, as I said, in my earlier post this was rectified by looking at an encyclopaedia.

[Jux]

I would ignore those materials, and talk to her about it as far as she can cope with. IME, some children might not want to ask their parents things, but will ask older siblings instead.

[pigoons]

OP get a grip and be a parent. My 6 year old DS knows the basics - he asked, I told using the proper nouns. Seriously ... it was no drama. I'd rather he heard from me than get some stupid interpretation from his friends

[Rubyandsaphire]

What's happening to me by usborne books. Theres a girls and boys version. I read it with my eldest as he has asd it helped to prompt conversations. My younger two took it upon themselves to read alone I then asked what they'd learnt and this prompted conversation.

[EvilPea]

I have to admit I’ve been waiting for questions to be asked to have the conversation with my eldest (year6) and it has never come up.
I took the view to be open and honest as they came up, but they never have

[zingally]

I'd think it was the parents job to teach this anyway!

[TabbyMumz]

I didnt want my children to have this lesson or be knowledgeable about it till much older, but had to let them take part because their friends would have told them second hand anyway in the playground. However currently with lockdown I would have thought you have a bit more parental control and could leave it until a bit older?

[Dominicgoings]

I really don’t get all the modern day drama about sex.
Respond to your childrens natural curiosity and questions honestly in an age appropriate way. Talk to them about puberty before it happens. Introduce conversations about contraception and safety when they reach puberty. Buy sone appropriate books/resources and reassure that that you are there to answer any more questions.
It doesn’t need to be the big drama that it’s made out to be. My mother was so repressed that she wouldn’t even take me bra shopping. I had no idea how to manage periods. Determined that my own kids would have a relaxed, non mortified approach to these issues and do far it’s worked.

[Saoirse7]

AIBU to think that when they knew schools were closing they could have taught it then, before school closed?


Yes YABVU Do you honestly think teachers had nothing better to do? I mean we only had to restructure a whole term worth of work in 2 days.

While we are at it many other parental responsibilities would you like to bestow on the school?

Having to teach how to tie shoe laces and how to put on coats has also crept into schools.

[gotothecooler]

Ok, can I just clarify, I was not offloading anything. Please read the OP

Hmmm. I think that's exactly what you were doing.

You even thought school should have realised they were about to close and taught it then. I mean, it's the least important thing your D.C. needed to do in this academic year, given that most of it is usually covered at home long before they do it in school.

[SusieOwl4]

I remember a long time ago someone recommended a book to read with my son . Can’t remember the exact title it had something about mummy in a hot air balloon? An introduction. To sex education anyway .

Anyway we sat down and read it . At the end he just shut the book , looked at me and said “ well I don’t believe one word of that “ and walked off 😁

[Silenceisnotgolden]

Your child might be shy, but she’s YOUR child; surely you know her better than any teacher or mos in her school? After all, you’ve known her for 11 years.

Google age appropriate ideas and resources relating to the subject rather than tearing apart the ‘crappy’ PowerPoint sent by your child’s teacher. Take some responsibility.

[Durgasarrow]

My mother gave me a book and fled from the room. Isn't that the normal way?

[Excitablemuch]

It may surprise you to know that we aren’t allowed to teach contraception in Year 6... was removed from the primary curriculum years ago!

[crazychemist]

With a PowerPoint seems a bit of an odd way to tackle it with just one kid. Usborne books (or similar) are age appropriate and not too embarrassing. Your child will take their lead on whether to be embarrassed from you, so you have to really keep a lid on non-verbal cues that might give you away!

Even if school were going to do it, it’s important to talk to your child about this stuff while it’s still hypothetical, or it’s too big a barrier for them to break down and talk about consent/fetishes etc when they are teenagers. Think if this as an opportunity to break the ice and START you ongoing conversation with them about healthy relationships.

[TheNewLook]

Be grateful they aren’t insisting you teach your child that sex is no longer a binary thing and that there are more than 100 genders. (Source: BBC Teach)

[loobyloo1234]

My mother gave me a book and fled from the room. Isn't that the normal way?

Followed by 'if you have any questions you can ask if you really have to'

[veryvery]

Be grateful they aren’t insisting you teach your child that sex is no longer a binary thing and that there are more than 100 genders. (Source: BBC Teach)

I just said to my D.C. some people have the primary physical characteristics of a sex that they don't identify with. That is they don't feel like a person of that sex so they prefer to be treated as the opposite sex (use of names and pronouns) or a person who is nether sex and might want an operation or take hormones to make them look more like what they identify with.

[pinkyboots1]

I'm sorry if this offends but 'get a grip!' This is your child and she's your responsibility. Do NOT leave it all to teachers, there's some great books on here that have been recommended to you. Use this time as a way of bonding and building up a really good two way conversation system. Talk to her honestly and openly with her, if she is likely to get embarrassed at physically asking the questions then make a 'back and forth' book where you can both ask and answered questions if needed.

[loobyloo1234]

Just to add actually, I came home from school and asked my Dad what a boner was at age 10 (apparently - ive obv blocked that moment out but my Mum has relayed it many a time)

Your DD probs has had some kind of conversation about these things at school so better to find out what she does know already and fill in the blanks

[titchy]

[quote DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon]@titchy she said 'however many years' that means x number of years

Also knew what? I doubt a 5 yr old knew everything about sex and relationships[/quote]
Fair enough I did misread that.

FTR the details was PIV = baby - the concepts of egg and seed already being known. (Contraception was a year later when dd asked what was in the machine in the toilets at Sainsbury's....)

[Whoopsmahoot]

Buy a book and let her read it in private. Then she is free to come and ask anything she wants. Ask tell her she can text you questions too. The Osbourne one is very good.

[LaPampa]

I can’t believe any child (without SEN etc) could get to year 6 without asking anything! Maybe just me but I didn’t find anything difficult with just answering the questions as they got raised then adding more age appropriate stuff as they got older. One thing I was clear on though, I wanted them to hear it from me / us first not a teacher, same with periods.