Just found out I have to teach this...!

[Wellthatwasabitshocking]

Just had an email from DD(Y6)'s school to say I'm to teach her the sex and relationships unit.
Ok, I'm not a prude but I was not expecting to have the sort of full responsibility of it.

I don't want to make a pig's ear of it or make her scared or embarrassed!

The really pathetic PowerPoint and worksheet they've sent doesn't mention contraception, doesn't even mention the penis going into the vagina.

I'm happy to discuss what needs to be discussed but DD is my quiet, shy one and I know she won't ask questions, she'll just be horrified!

AIBU to just teach the basics and then add things along the way?

I've heard that they'll do it again in Y7 and she's going to be taught it by teachers used to teaching it. Also,

AIBU to think that when they knew schools were closing they could have taught it then, before school closed?

Also, does anyone know of a book/website that might be more helpful for my DD?

[ktp100]

The more intimate details are covered in key stages 3 & 4.

Just go through what the school have sent. It is an essential part of the KS2 currilculum.

Better for it to come from a parent than a teacher, IMO.

[Frlrlrubert]

I teach year science and year 7 PSHE.

I'm not sure what's on the year 6 curriculum these days, but I can tell you they don't seem to know that people have sex for purposes other than baby making - that put me on the spot the first time, it's not in the curriculum at that point (contraception is year 10!) so I had to use my judgement on that one.

I'd start with what she already knows, cover the curriculum and answer any questions she has. Just approach it like teaching anything else is my advice.

[SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito]

Given that schools are asking year 7 children to define "extreme porn" and telling 13yo girls anal sex is totally normal, I'd be absolutely delighted to have the chance to take over all sex ed of my dd. Take the opportunity to teach her about boundaries and active consent.

[stickygotstuck]

OP, I agree with PPs that this is the parents' responsibility rather than the school's. Also, I think by Y6 your DD should have already some idea of what it's all about.

Apart from that, I really recommend this Usborne book - 'What's happening to me'. There are girls' and a boys' specific versions, although they both mention a bit of the other sex.
Sorry for the long link - www.whsmith.co.uk/products/whats-happening-to-me-girl/paperback/9780746069950.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMInJKEgdip6gIVDLDtCh3nFA2REAQYAiABEgIBpvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

It's small and straightforward. I gave it to DD and to ready by herself, and ask if she had any questions. She did after a few weeks, when she had time to process it all. Interestingly, she decided to stop before the end bit bit about sex. She just wasn't interested then, but she took it up again a few months ago and read that bit (Y6 now).

HTH

[sirfredfredgeorge]

I'm not sure what's on the year 6 curriculum these days, but I can tell you they don't seem to know that people have sex for purposes other than baby making

I cannot understand how this is possible, you need to be particularly unaware to not understand that people have sex for fun just from watching the simpsons, let alone any other TV.

[ohthegoats]

This is your job, sorry.

Just explain it matter of fact-ly. Medical terms. Ta da.

My 5 year old child has had The Body Book by Clare Rayner since she was about 2. She sometimes gets obsessed with a certain part of hte book, including the erect penis picture, but talks about it all as if meh. That's what you're aiming for.

With year 6 be sure to stress how this only happens when BOTH people want it to, and that if one person says no, it's not going to happen. (In theory!)

[42Levelsandnolift]

Definitely don’t make a pigs ear of it OP FGS. Kids have got enough to wade through on the internet as it is...

More seriously, get in the car, go for a drive so you both are looking straight ahead and don’t need to make eye contact, open the conversation with the differences between boys and girls bodies.

Structure and function, consent and emotion, the law and good health is where I’d be going but start with parts, their proper names and what they do.

[Boohoohoohooho]

I just had age appropriate books around so the kids could look when they wanted. I also talked about sex when it came up. The thought of doing some big important ‘talk’ seems a bit odd.
My kids watched a lot of nature programs so learnt things from them.

[julybaby32]

I think you sometimes get 9/10/11 year olds who theoretically know that people have sex not just to have a baby, but it sounds so wildly improbable,l unhygienic, uncomfortable and embarrassing that they don't really believe it. This is perfectly understandable in a way.

[ComDummings]

I think being factual is important. There are so many books you can get as well so she can read them herself. Being as matter of fact as possible and showing you’re open to answering questions is vital. She needs to know she can ask you anything and you won’t freak out.

[Marsalimay]

I think it's ok for a parent to want advice on this. I don't think it's ok for a parent to abdicate responsibility to the school.

Don't you want her to have a safe, enjoyable, informed sex life?

[Snailsetssail]

Yes sorry this is all part of parenting!

Please make sure you explain it to her before secondary school. If she doesn’t know when they teach it in year 7 she is likely to be laughed at.

[tillytown]

victimfocus-resources.com/products/the-primary-school-and-home-school-guide-ethical-sex-and-relationships-education-for-young-children-by-dr-jessica-taylor Op, this book covers everything, it might be helpful for you

[Aventurine]

Our school showed the Channel 4 series Living and Growing which was on YouTube at the time.

[Staffy1]

To be fair, it's not something my parents ever discussed with me and I would have found it most uncomfortable if they did. By the time it was taught in school, we all had a pretty good idea what happened already.

[Aveisenim]

I Just for boys for my son.

This is the girl's version :)

Just for girls

[Aveisenim]

I got*

[SeasonFinale]

They literally had no notice of closing. We were told on the Wednesday and closed on the Friday. Why as a parent would you want someone else to teach your child this?

[ChloeCrocodile]

I cannot understand how this is possible, you need to be particularly unaware to not understand that people have sex for fun just from watching the simpsons, let alone any other TV.

It is surprisingly common to year 7s to be unaware. It is quite normal for them to not understand the point of contraception on the grounds that you'd only ever do something so gross if you wanted a baby.

[Wellthatwasabitshocking]

Thanks all, even the critical ones. This isn't my first rodeo.

Let me put it into more perspective, DD1, quite a bit older is very outgoing and and would ask everything about everything and we chatted easily about all this. There were no issues about periods, contraception or anything else.

DD2... is just a totally different character.

OF COURSE I will make sure my children are equipped for teenage life, sex, relationships and all that.

I partly asked on here for advice, but also maybe because I was worried about how far to go with explaining it to a very bashful and young for her age girl.

Also, I thought that the resources were limited.

I'll use the school stuff and if questions arise and I need something else I'll get some of the books that the kinder PPs have mentioned.

[Wellthatwasabitshocking]

@Aveisenim that looks like what I need, thanks

[veryvery]

I remember reaching for a children's encyclopaedia when my D.C. was due to have the lessons in Yr6. I was a little surprised at how little they had covered in the earlier years (eg physical characteristics between the sexes) but the diagrams in the encyclopaedia sent it out.

I would suggest you 'teach' as much is comfortable. I just shrugged my shoulders at the awkward squeals of embarrassment. I just said 'I know but that's how bodies work'.

[EmbarrassedUser]

Oh god, are the year 5 mum’s having to do the period talk! I still remember being herded down to a classroom without the boys with us all whispering ‘is it an injection?’ ‘Are we going to watch a film?’ So innocent 😆😆

[DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon]

@titchy she said 'however many years' that means x number of years

Also knew what? I doubt a 5 yr old knew everything about sex and relationships

[MrsNoah2020]

AIBU to think that when they knew schools were closing they could have taught it then, before school closed?

Yes, why on earth didn't schools prioritise sparing parents a bit of embarrassment, instead of dicking around, trying to keep students and staff safe in the midst of a pandemic?