AIBU - hot drinks in the morning

[Hangingtrousers]

So my DH is great. We share parenting, he does lots of house work etc etc
But... We take turns getting up with the kids and the person who gets up makes us both our morning caffeine.
I like coffee.
He likes tea.

He will never ever make me a coffee.. I always make him he's tea and my self a coffee. On his get up he makes us both tea. He knows I like a morning coffee.

I know their are bigger problems in the world by the way!!!

Hanging: Or he prefers tea pot tea rather than tea bag in a cup tea maybe?
...
You surely know if he prefers that. Most tea drinkers do. So what? That's no reason to not give you coffee.

Have you spoken to him and if so, what does he say?

It may not be a big deal but a hot drink in bed is a lovely start to the day and the OH here is being a thoughtless git. Can you leave the instant coffee out with your mug ready for the morning as a reminder?

Another vote for make him coffee every morning until he gets the message

@louisemallard

I think it’s really lazy to expect the person who gets up with the kids to be running around with hot drinks. But we are all different.

There is no "expect" it is the deal they have come up with between them. Both have agreed to take turns like this (note the "take turns" so they both do it). It is irrelevant what others think of that deal.

The point is, he isn't keeping his side of it because he can't be arsed to make the drink his wife wants. That makes him a arse.

Yes there are bigger problems in the world but this would really piss me off. At worst it’s controlling and at best it’s lazy and thoughtless!

Tell him your last boyfriend always made you coffee ☕ in the morning

@louisemallard its the whole 'getting to stay in bed' experience though isn't it?

Do the same, make him a coffee.

@ShirleyPhallus

1. Ask him to make you coffee instead and / or

1. Stop making him tea

Et voila

Agree with this. Or make him a coffee instead.

Make him coffee every morning, or make him nothing at all.
It used to piss me off that I'd always empty the coffee grounds from the machine after I used it, but DH would use the nice clean empty machine and never clean out his own grounds. So I stopped cleaning them out, and now it doesn't piss me off anymore.

Soup, I genuinely don’t know why you’re arguing with me - I am certainly not drawing any negative interferences from the OP or her husband. But she did ask if she was being unreasonable and in my opinion yes, a bit. I’m sure she’s a lovely person and everything but this would make me roll my eyes to the ceiling and back! That’s all, really, it’s not something I’d get worked up about either way.

FWIW we make our own hot drinks in the morning, and probably in general actually, although later in the day we will offer each other. In the morning we are doing slightly different things, and I have my hot drink a little later. He has coffee made through an involved grinding and filtering process. I can make it, but it's a faff as he's quite particular. I will make it for him if it's a busy morning and he's in a rush, e.g. for a train in the old days

I like coffee , DH likes tea
Whoever makes the drinks makes what is required
I'd say ( if I was given a tea ) You know I don't like tea , where's my coffee ?
Or better , as he goes downstairs .. just reminding you to make me a coffee please
He's being an idiot

Do you drink the tea? If you do he assumes you don't mind tea even if you've said you'd rather have coffee.

How long ago did you ask him to bring you coffee instead and what did he say? If he continued to bring tea then he's purposely being an arsehole. It really isn't too much effort to make different hot drinks at the same time. If he prefers teapot tea then he can have two cups to himself.

Just don't make him anything. Sorted. Who wants a drink in bed anyway?

I rarely make dh a coffee because he is a bit fussy about it. He does drink tea too though which I do make him. Are you fussy about coffee?

Rude and lazy. I'd be annoyed.
Make no more tea for him til he can make you a coffee

Is it straight forward to make the coffee, for example a pod machine?

Or is it coffee grounds, milk warming/frothing and needs cleaned/rinsed straight after palaver

My DH puts the coffee Grounds in the machine the night before and sets the timer so it is freshly brewed when I come down in the morning, it is a small and thoughtful gesture that I really appreciate.

Start making him coffee in the morning instead.

Do you drink the tea when he makes it? I would pour it away everything and make coffee instead.

Don't tell us, tell him!

Ask him to make you a coffee in the future as it’s what you prefer. If he continues to make you tea then start making him a coffee instead of a tea.

@louisemallard

I think it’s really lazy to expect the person who gets up with the kids to be running around with hot drinks. But we are all different.

What a load of shite. Being in charge of the kids doesn't mean you can't take your turn at making the morning brew. Us womenfolk are expected to multitask all the damn time and there's not much point in taking turns at getting up first and making the morning cuppa if the other has to get up too.

DP does this. I started drinking coffee in the morning about three years ago and apparently this is not long enough to remember that I don't do tea in the am.

I started to say, 'no I'll do it myself in a minute thanks.' Which lead to him calling me sulky and controlling

I'm sure he does it because he thinks coffee is akin to crack in the health ranking stakes and he can't be arsed with anything other than a tea bag. But no, I'm the controlling one.

@MiddlesexGirl

Just don't make him anything. Sorted. Who wants a drink in bed anyway?

Umm, me, DH, DSis, DF and every sane human I've ever had to stay in my home

You may have noticed a slight bias here....