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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - hot drinks in the morning

119 replies

Hangingtrousers · 30/06/2020 07:53

So my DH is great. We share parenting, he does lots of house work etc etc
But... We take turns getting up with the kids and the person who gets up makes us both our morning caffeine.
I like coffee.
He likes tea.

He will never ever make me a coffee.. I always make him he's tea and my self a coffee. On his get up he makes us both tea. He knows I like a morning coffee.

I know their are bigger problems in the world by the way!!!

OP posts:
STAYTHEFUCKHOME · 30/06/2020 08:14

When you get up, make two coffees. Petty as fuck, but no different to what he’s doing.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/06/2020 08:15

You are both BU as you should be drinking hot lemon water first thing. HTH.

My friend did that and two of her teeth fell out. Her dentist said it’s a terrible thing to do. HTH.

louisemallard · 30/06/2020 08:16

Well I’m obviously a lone voice here but how much effort is it to make your own coffee?

diddl · 30/06/2020 08:17

Do you drink the tea so that he thinks it's OK to carrry on even though you've asked for coffee?

GrannyBags · 30/06/2020 08:18

‘Should’ be drinking hot lemon water??? According to whose law?

Eddielzzard · 30/06/2020 08:20

Yes - do you drink the tea? Crucial point.

minisoksmakehardwork · 30/06/2020 08:22

I drink tea. DH drinks coffee. Would never dream of making him tea because it's 'easier'.

Stop making his tea. Either make him coffee or nothing until he gets the message since he is hell bent on ignoring you.

jessstan2 · 30/06/2020 08:22

Tell him straight you want coffee in the morning! Maybe he doesn't make it very well, some people don't but you can show him, surely. It's not rocket science.

Yes it is a small issue in the scheme of things but irritating being as he does 'do' the morning's hot drinks and must know your preference.

DuineArBith · 30/06/2020 08:25

@louisemallard

Well I’m obviously a lone voice here but how much effort is it to make your own coffee?
You're not a lone voice, you're someone who doesn't understand that it's not about the work involved, it's about the fact that bringing your partner a tea or coffee first thing in the morning is a nice thing to do.
Georgielovespie · 30/06/2020 08:26

Dh has a bean to cup machine, press a few buttons and it makes the coffee, no effort at all. In the time it takes from turning the machine on to it being finished I have made myself a cup of tea.

Your Dh is being a dick. It isn't any effort, tell him you want a coffee, if he brings you tea ask him why he thinks it is acceptable to make you a tea when you specifically said you wanted a coffee.

DuineArBith · 30/06/2020 08:26

I think you need to ask him why he does this, rather than speculating. If it's laziness, point out that making a cup of instant coffee is actually less work than faffing around with tea bags.

LittleBearPad · 30/06/2020 08:26

It’s really rude; a cup of instant coffee is easy to make.

He gets coffee from now in until he stops being an arse.

louisemallard · 30/06/2020 08:29

Of course I understand that duine. I just am a lone voice in thinking it’s really not even remotely a big deal or any sort of deal really! But then I’m not really a tea or coffee drinker and it doesn’t stop people endlessly making them for me and offering them so I’m probably used to accepting unwanted and undrunk cups of tea!

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 30/06/2020 08:29

Take two coffees up on your day-sorry darling-I thought that was what we did-whoever gets up gets to pick the drink?!!!

JinglingHellsBells · 30/06/2020 08:31

he's being a dick.

If he brings you tea, send it back.
Don't drink it.

Redcrow · 30/06/2020 08:31

That's really rude. My husband goes through phases of laziness like this. He likes coffee, I like tea. He'll do his and leave mine on the bench with the tea bag in brewing and no milk. He'll say "I've done half the job". I then stop making him coffees for a bit and he will do it properly for a couple of months before he slips again

SoupDragon · 30/06/2020 08:32

I just am a lone voice in thinking it’s really not even remotely a big deal or any sort of deal really!

The reason it is a "big deal" is that he is deliberately not bringing her drink she wants. She brings him his tea, he doesn't keep his side of the deal. It's not about the coffee as such, it's about him being a lazy arse.

Yupimahelecopter · 30/06/2020 08:32

My husband does this! Hell make me coffee when he remembers.. But most the time I end up with tea!!! Angry lol Im pregnant so it makes me doubly mad using my caffine intake in the wrong way! Lol I need two Coffees before I can get on with my day and maybe a tea at night.. Aha

minisoksmakehardwork · 30/06/2020 08:33

And as a non-coffee drinker, it took instruction from DH to learn how to make drinkable coffee. He follows my way for tea. So anything other than the drink you want imo shows thoughtlessness.

IlanaWexler · 30/06/2020 08:33

Have you properly expressed to him that this pisses you off? If he's knowingly upsetting you then he's a dick.

Motorbike311 · 30/06/2020 08:34

Coffee is my favourite thing in the morning. I'm very fussy about how I have it, even down to the temp (I know its stupid). Have you ever complained to him about how you have it or he makes it? My wife makes it so wrong so I've ask her not to make it anymore.

louisemallard · 30/06/2020 08:35

I think it’s really lazy to expect the person who gets up with the kids to be running around with hot drinks. But we are all different.

Mmsnet101 · 30/06/2020 08:39

YANBU. I drink both but only DH can make me a coffee at home as I've recently had to switch to Soya milk in my coffee and I can't get the hang of doing it without it splitting, whereas he gets it right everytime.

It's these little gestures that show love imo, more than a card on an anniversary etc.

caramelbun · 30/06/2020 08:41

He gets coffee next time then.

CodenameVillanelle · 30/06/2020 08:42

Make him coffee every time until he gets the message