Manners!

[paintednailsandnoknickers]

I'm generally a grumpy old cow about most things and genuinely try to curb this as much as I can as no one wants a misery around, but manners or lack of them really really annoy me.

I'm trying to be kind and more thoughtful so hope to get your thoughts on this.

I was left a message on my answer phone from a lady wanting to know more about the services my husband's business can offer her (quote, etc). It was quite a long message going into quite a lot of detail, not once did she say please or thank you? I always answer questions, leads, etc even if we don't necessarily want or need the work.

I deleted the message and ignored it, AIBU?

It was an answering machine she was speaking to not a person, lots of people are very detached when speaking to machines because they're machines. YABU to judge her as rude, and to delete her message, based on a recording.

I'm glad you are not running my business!

You ignored and deleted a message that might lead to more business for your husband?

I'm not running his business, it's my business too and I judged that if she doesn't have any manners then we don't want her job? We're not that desperate.

In your post you wrote "my husband's business".

Its a machine. People are different with other people than they are with machines.

YABU. You've probably done her a favour though, by deleting her message. She'll find someone who wants her business I'm sure.

I'm not sure I'd conduct my business like that tbh. I work in the NHS and unlike private clinics I don't "have" to be particularly polite or obliging but I always am no matter how rude and mannerless my patients might be.
It's a matter of personal pride to me.

Just to be clear to nitpickers, my husband is a builder, he builds, I run the rest of the business, we're both directors. Is that OK?

Good luck to those who do the work for her. In my experience if people have no manners from the start they're a whole heap of trouble.

Yes well, I was thinking about rudeness yesterday too, as a family came to our house and the kids just ran in (they are about 4 and 6 and don’t know us very well) - “Hi (my first name) and hi (DH first name). Can I have 2 biscuits?... Oh, I don’t like them..., “

I mean, call me old fashioned, but I couldn’t believe it.

I would delete these people too OP.

You said it was your husband's job?
Then you said it's your job too?
You said you always answer questions even if you don't want the work?
But then you say you don't want to reply because you don't want the work?
And you keep asking questions that aren't questions?
YABU?

You are turning away business, because a person wasn't chatty with an answering machine ?

I think manners are important, but wow, that's a weird way to run a business. Of course YABU.

Well actually OP, calling genuine posters who offers an opinion nitpickers and such like, I find quite rude to be honest.
You might want to check your own manners

I hate answer phones

Picking holes in a perfectly genuine message? What is wrong with this forum these days?

I hate answer phones too, I tend to not leave a message and try again a little later or send an email.

I don’t think an answering machine is a great way to judge someone’s manners. People know they are talking to a machine, it’s not the same as talking to a person. But if you don’t need the work and aren’t worried about giving a bad impression by not responding, you have nothing to worry about.

Nobody wants nightmare clients though do they? If they can’t even be polite at the point of contact, imagine the rest.

YANBU OP

I have an item on eBay at the moment - part of the description says that there is no buy it now price and the auction will run to the end and I will sell to the highest bidder.

I've just had a message that says

"buy it now price"

That is the whole message.

I've blocked that account from bidding.

The other week I was in a shop - (mid transaction) and a bloke came in demanding directions to a local place. Never once said please, thank you or made any reference to the fact he was interrupting a conversation in progress. Twat.

I agree with Icanflyhigh, you come across as rather mannerless and rude yourself. If this is you trying not to come across as grumpy I'd hate to see you give it full throttle!

@intotheb1ue

Nobody wants nightmare clients though do they? If they can’t even be polite at the point of contact, imagine the rest.

This - I have learnt from eBay and other selling - brash fuckers with no manners just waste your time.

It's perfectly possible she was concentrated on not getting cut off if the message was lengthy, some VMs do that. I always say please and thank you in RL, but I am not entirely sure if I always do it when leaving a VM, especially a lengthy one. It doesn't necessarily mean she was rude or she didn't use these words intentionally. I think YABVU. You should have at least called back and have a conversation, then decide if you want her business or not.

I don't think anyone was picking holes though.
They were clarifying your OP, because you did state it was your husbands business, then you said it was yours too, so maybe more of a drip feed.

Had you have said in the original post you were joint partners in a business and he did the manual work while.you took care of the admin, that would have been clearer to all.
Your op makes it sound like you lost him a job because someone didn't say please or thank you!

Way to make a bad name for your husbands business. Just because this woman came across as rude, doesn't mean you have to respond to it in kind. You can't control the actions or inactions of others but you can control your own. YABU.