Manners!

[paintednailsandnoknickers]

I'm generally a grumpy old cow about most things and genuinely try to curb this as much as I can as no one wants a misery around, but manners or lack of them really really annoy me.

I'm trying to be kind and more thoughtful so hope to get your thoughts on this.

I was left a message on my answer phone from a lady wanting to know more about the services my husband's business can offer her (quote, etc). It was quite a long message going into quite a lot of detail, not once did she say please or thank you? I always answer questions, leads, etc even if we don't necessarily want or need the work.

I deleted the message and ignored it, AIBU?

Really unprofessional of you! And it's pretty ridiculous to refuse work,especially in the current climate, because someone doesn't say please or thank you An answer phone message also does not give the correct portrayal of someone-and even if it does,so what?! You (or your husband) are there to provide a service. Really immature of you

I'm generally a grumpy old cow I'm afraid that's coming out in some of your answers.

Look, tradespeople know that "the customer is always right" is not always true, so I get you may not want her business, but you have complained she was rude (she may just not like VMs) and you're being tetchy back to some legitimate questions from PP.

Perhaps time to go have a cuppa, and a break. I know it's stressful right now for tradespeople (and their OHs).

I am afraid I'm another that thinks perhaps you might want to reflect on your own manner, and how you come across. Although, as you say, you are a grumpy old cow about most things, so it might be a part of that.

I expect the lady concerned will pass the message around that your company doesn’t respond.

The way you’ve come across on this forum, @paintednailsandnoknickers there’s no way I would want your business (your husband’s business? Still unsure) to do any of my building work.

@Icanflyhigh

Well actually OP, calling genuine posters who offers an opinion nitpickers and such like, I find quite rude to be honest. You might want to check your own manners

Totally agree with this.

I get really nervous speaking on answering machines and worry people judge me from that message. Just goes to show people like you do exist.

I'm glad you deleted the message because I bet that poor woman who called would never be good enough in your eyes. It gives her the chance to find another builder who will appreciate her business.

I hope she tells people you never called her back and to avoid your business.

And btw, don't ask people here if YABU or not if you can't handle the honest opinion then proceed to call us nitpickers (or whatever it was).

Just to be clear to nitpickers, my husband is a builder, he builds, I run the rest of the business, we're both directors. Is that OK

I guess you are right, you are grumpy . But you also lack manners soo much, you could be me on a bad day, menopausal by any chance?

You don't have to do pleasantries to answering machines, perhaps she was scared of running out of time, so kept it factual?

Fwiw I'm foreign, we don't say please and thank you every three words and we might be more polite than you .

Pleaaase

Saying you aren't desperate enough for her work just because she didn't say please and thankyou to a answering machine tells me you think you are above everyone. You actually sound quite rude yourself and say you're an old grumpy cow about most things Whoever this lady was, I'm glad she isn't getting her work done by you either.

Your posts come across as pretty brusque.

I think 'live by the sword die by the sword'. If you're happy to be judged quickly and harshly for your brusque attitude then crack on and do the same to others.

Yabu. A voicemail is completely different to an actual conversation.

Will you tell your OH?

genuine question

Well, at least you're self-aware!

Seems a bit of an odd way to run a business, but if you don't need their custom - then you're fine to suit yourself.

Might be better in the future to make a decision once you've spoke to the client, first, though. Not everyone is at their best on an answering machine.

I hate answering machines, I end up just talking complete rubbish on them.

Oh well, I guess your loss is someone else's gain.

Well, you come across as pretty rude her.

I think a VM would need to be extremely rude for me to take it personally. Also, when running a business, you kind of have to put up with stuff. You don't have to take on the work, but you have now run the risk that she'll tell people that your business was so bad it didn't even bother returning a call.

I left a voicemail message looking for a service from a local business. They never returned my call. I called them again and the owner answered the phone and then told me to call back later because she was too busy to discuss.

I decided not to call them for a 3rd time and used someone else. Whenever a friend or colleague ask about the business I tell them my experience. I don’t know anyone who has gone on to use them.

I think YABU OP but then you obviously don’t need the business or subsequent potential referrals so it’s up to you.

Totally with you OP.
I saw a tv programme within the last 12 months about vets/animal charities. I was very shocked that 100% of the people taking their pets to a charity never said please or thank you. The lack of both words was incredibly noticeable, because all the pet owners dealing with vet practices did say them.
With regards the children and biscuits, you would have had me with "can I " instead of "may I", although I imagine there are a lot of people around these days, who do not know the difference.

I think YABVU and utterly ridiculous.

Presumably it was a polite message. You have been really stupid and should try to get it back.

It seems like you're the one with no manners. You are bu

Ignoring potential customers is rude and bad mannered. Perhaps you would have got along swimmingly.

You've deleted a voicemail because the caller didn't say please or thank you ?

That's ridiculous , they were leaving a message not talking to a person.

Your business must be doing extremely well if you can choose to dismiss work like this.

Flipping heck I think you left yourself the message!

It’s rude as fuck.

I would have left a message along the lines of, I’m interested in your services, I have sent you an email/Facebook message detailing my requirements. My number is xxxxxx Thank you and have a nice evening.

Well OP you do seem a bit rude, I'd have returned the call and waited to see how she interacted with a real person rather than a machine. Then if she still didn't pass the test you set you could have said you were too busy for the foreseeable.
Some valid points about her just trying to leave a factual message.

@intotheb1ue

• “Hi (my first name) and hi (DH first name). Can I have 2 biscuits?... Oh, I don’t like them..., “ confused The children were certainly rude asking for biscuits but if they know you well enough to be in your house what on earth do you want them to call you if not your first name? "Madam"?

You're the rude one.

I'm also self-employed. If I found out that DH was deleting messages from potential clients because he didn't like how they came across, I would be seriously fucking angry.

Well I’d certainly still say please and thank you in a message I was leaving for a quote.

It’s your business so it’s up to you, you’re the boss!
However if i were you (& you don’t need the business) then I would probably still ring her and say sorry too busy to take on any more work, as I would feel rude myself not to acknowledge in some way.